I'm Just Saying...

I've asked this before, and apparently I now know the answer. No, we can't all just get along...

2012-02-08T13:22:00.001-05:00

I long for a day where we can stop calling each other names, stop fighting with people that don't act like us or look like us. I really wish that we could all just get along. I mean, what harm could come out of a civilized nation? How nice would it be to just relax and enjoy every day, instead of seeking out the next person to argue with? Call me crazy, but I think we have it in us. Sure, it wouldn't be easy, nothing worth doing ever is, but it sure does beat the alternative. Below are just a few of the things we are fighting over right now.

As many of you have surely heard, the Obama administration, as part of the Affordable Care Act, is requiring all employers, including Catholic universities and hospitals, to cover contraception in their employees health care plan. This has Conservative leaders screaming that President Obama is stepping all over religious liberties. Now, I'm not one to talk about religion, that can be a touchy subject for many people. That being said, I'm sorry, I'm not buying into the whole President Obama is anti-religion nonsense. This mandate doesn't force anyone, not a single person, to actually use the birth control, or other contraceptive methods, it simply requires the employer to offer it up to its employees. For example, if you are a Catholic, and you feel that it is against your religion to use birth control (which many Catholics do use birth control, despite the cries coming from the Right), you are not required to use it. Conversely, if you are not a Catholic, and you are working for a Catholic university, you will be given the opportunity to receive birth control through your health care plan. Nobody is stepping on your religious beliefs. If you don't believe in taking a birth control pill, you still don't have to. That is left completely up to you. This isn't even about religion. This is about a women's right to choose what she would like to do.

Proposition 8 was ruled unconstitutional in the state of California, opening the door to allowing same sex marriage in the Golden State. This could be an interesting development, following in the footsteps of New York, where same sex marriage is now legal. The question of same sex marriage will be on the ballot here in Maine this November, and many feel that it will pass this time around, even if only by a small margin. This, also, has turned into a religious battle. My argument is this. Not everybody is religious, but everybody has the right to get married. The first amendment of the Constitution prohibits the federal and state governments from establishing an official religion, or from favoring or disfavoring one view of religion over another. That seems pretty clear to me that one view of religion doesn't reign supreme over any other, including that of someone who doesn't practice a religion. We can't pick and choose when a religion should apply to all people, it doesn't work that way. If two people love each other, and want to commit to each other, then who am I to tell them no. Let's do the right there here, what should have been done a long time ago.

There is a budget battle brewing up in Augusta, and if Governor LePage is in charge, it will surely get ugly. Republican and Democratic legislators came to an agreement early this morning on a budget that would get us through the end of fiscal year 2012, avoiding major cuts to DHHS, which could have affected many elderly, young and poor people across the state, as well as many related agencies that provide much needed programs for people of all walks of life. However, I'm sure Governor LePage won't find this compromise acceptable, as he has already stated that he will veto anything that doesn't look exactly how he wants things. The Appropriations Committee did what they were sent to Augusta to do, make difficult decisions, but come to a resolution. Let's hope Governor LePage does what he was sent to Augusta to do as well, and not just throw another temper tantrum.

These are just a few cases of people fighting against each other. I know that we all want what is best at the end of the day, and I also realize that we have different visions as to what actually is best. That being said, I think we all need to take a deep breath and relax. Yelling, screaming, swearing and name calling are not productive. I'm just saying...

New year, new me, and this time, I mean it. No, seriously...

2012-01-05T19:37:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, we all say the same crap every year. X, Y and Z are my resolutions, and I am totally sticking to them this year. I'm going to the gym every day, or I'm not drinking at all this year. We do this to ourselves every year. I'm no different. I've given things up, sworn things off, and told myself I would do this and that, and it would last for a week, maybe two, and I'd be right back to the old Mark again in no time at all. Well, this year is different. Wait, before you say what you are thinking, and I know what you are thinking, I really mean it this time. See, this year is a little different.

As many of you know, Nichole and I lead very busy lives. We are involved in as much as we can get our hands on. Politics, sports, work and everything in between are fair game to us. We love being on the go. For example, I'm writing this while simultaneously preparing for an audit, at the office, at 7:30 at night, while Nichole is hanging out with her little sister (Nichole is a big sister as part of Big Brothers Big Sisters). There is no such thing as downtime to us, and we prefer it that way. Well, this year is going to be even worse, or better, depending on how you view things. See, we have dubbed 2012 as the year of MSH. What is MSH you ask? Make Shit Happen.

We work hard, play hard, and get every ounce out of life. That said, we continue to want more. I have always been a hard worker that is seldom heard from. I have always kept to myself at work, and just did my thing and chugged along. Well, no more. There are many changes happening at my office, and I'm going to be involved in every aspect of everything that happens going forward. I'm not only going to be the first to volunteer for things, I'm going to kick ass at it as well. I want to get more involved in the community, more involved in the workplace, and more involved with my family. I want to go to bed every evening absolutely exhausted from an amazing day of making shit happen.

See, when I was growing up, I dreamed of becoming the next Larry Bird. I was going to play professional basketball for the Boston Celtics, and I was going to be living the dream. Well, things didn't work out quite like that, but just because I'm not dropping 24 points a night and grabbing 10 rebounds, doesn't mean I'm not capable of living the dream. If I continue to push myself and work my tail off, I will be able to accomplish even more than I dreamed of. There are things I can do to make myself a better father, a better husband, and a better professional, and that is just what I plan on doing. Watch out world, I'm taking over. 2012 will be the year of MSH, I'm just saying...

My Time Questioning Her Time At Wal-Mart...

2011-12-16T11:59:00.001-05:00

I'm sure most of you, if not all, have seen it by now. The blog post by "CollegeConservative" about welfare abuse. For those that haven't, it's right here. First of all, I can't take anyone seriously if the advertisement on their page is referencing www.commieobama.com. President Obama is not a communist. President Bush wasn't Hitler. Look, you can dislike their politics, but leave the stupid comparisons to evil people alone. You lose all credibility right off the bat. Anyways, I saw the link to the blog post showing up in my Facebook feeds like crazy the other day. I had to read it to find out what everyone was talking about. Well, what I read was, in my opinion, a steaming pile of human excrement. Basically, "college conservative" is painting people that use food stamps or other forms of State and Federal aid as a freeloading "Welfare Queen". Hold on a minute, what?

First of all, I'm not going to suggest, not for a minute, that abuse is not happening. Anyone who denies that people are abusing the welfare system is kidding themselves. That said, abuse is happening everywhere, by people of all walks of life. This isn't just being done by the poorest among us, it is absolutely happening among wealthy people as well. People will always find a way to screw the system. What angers me more than anything else on this subject, though, is how so many people paint with a broad brush. I understand that abuse upsets people, I do. However, it is completely inaccurate to suggest that abuse is widespread or that everyone receiving aid is a "freeloader" or that they are "lazy".

Let's look at some of the information that College Conservative puts forward as facts. She claims to have worked at the Scarborough Wal-Mart for the summers of 2010 and 2011. She says that, in that time, she "witnessed generations of families all relying on the state to buy food and other items". Again, perhaps this is true, to an extent, but she casually observed this while scanning items at the checkout counter over the course of two summers? Generations of families? Really? This, again, seems like a pretty broad accusation. Did she know the families personally? Did they shop together, therefore she assumed they were families? To me, too many questions to assume she saw "generations" of families relying on the state.

People ignored her while they talked on their iPhone. First of all, people of all stripes do this everywhere. It happens at the drive thru, the bank and toll booths. It's annoying, no matter who you are. However, she loses me when she starts using numbers. "For those of you keeping score at home, an iPhone is at least $200, and requires a data package of at least $25 a month. If a person can spend $25+ a month so they can watch YouTube 24/7, I don’t see why they can’t spend that money on food," she says. Perhaps the phone is a hand-me-down from mom and dad. Perhaps they don't have a data plan that allows them to "watch YouTube 24/7". Perhaps they didn't pay $200 for the phone, and got a refurbished version for considerably less, much like I did. Again, alot of assumptions here, and to quote my high school Botany teacher, you know what happens when you assume, right?

She ridicules people for using TANF benefits to purchase things such as Kit Kat bars, beer and a slip and slide, then goes on to say that there are no restrictions on what TANF benefits can be used for. So, where is the abuse? Were they all great choices for uses of the funds? Not necessarily, but who are we to judge. If a person wants to waste benefits they are eligible for, and go without something that could be more beneficial, that is their choice. If you have a problem with the system, fix that, don't ridicule the individual for doing what they have every right to do.

Extravagant purchases made with food stamps, such as steaks, lobsters and giant birthday cakes. Again, if the system is set up in such a way that this is acceptable, then the people following the rules aren't the problem. If a person wants to use $60 in food stamps to purchase lobster, and then has nothing else to show for it, that is their choice. Sure, it may not be a smart move on their part, but who am I to judge. As for birthday cakes, perhaps that is because they have a child having a birthday, and they can't do much for them, but they can at least get them a cake. Why is that so wrong? Are poor children not allowed to have a birthday cake?

The hot dog vendor that purchases all of his supplies (hot dogs, buns, condiments, etc) using food stamps is an interesting case. If this is true, that's not cool. If this is true, I would agree, this is wrong. However, I'd need more information first, before accusing him of any wrongdoing. This is another case of jumping to conclusions without knowing all the facts. If he is breaking the rules, kick him off the system. If what he is doing is well within the current guidelines, be mad all you want, but it is legit.

The issue of entitlement is absolutely a problem, and one I won't argue with her about. That said, it's not just by benefit recipients. There are people all around us, both rich, poor and middle class that walk around like their shit doesn't stink. Nobody is entitled to anything. We must work for it. If we hit a bump in the road, and we need assistance in one form or another, then so be it, there is a safety net in place for just that reason. It can hit any of us at any time. I've been there before. You have to swallow your pride and accept reality, and it isn't always easy. There is no reason to feel like you are above anyone else, no matter what the reason.

Maine does have a large chunk of the population receiving benefits, and again, I'm certain that there is abuse happening within the system. That said, suggesting that people that are on welfare assistance are lazy freeloaders is not only wrong, but it's insulting. If we feel that there is a problem with how the system works, then we need to focus on that, not by attacking people that are already down on their luck. Until we walk a mile in their shoes we have absolutely no right to suggest we know anything about them or their situation. If we spent more time figuring out how to get these people back to work and earning a paycheck, and less time demonizing them, we would all be much further ahead. Until then, pieces like the one from College Conservative do nothing but incite anger and class warfare, and that is not helpful. I'm just saying...

Right idea, wrong approach...

2011-11-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

Occupy Wall Street. I'm sure you've heard about it by now. Heck, it has spread all over this country, even all over the world. What is it? What do they stand for? Who is leading the charge? What are they hoping the outcome will be? While the movement may only be two months old, there are still so many questions remaining. Let's see if I can touch upon a few of them, and give my impressions of the movement.

First of all, what is Occupy Wall Street? Conceptually, I think it is great. I see OWS as a movement of people fed up with politics as usual. This country has shifted from the land of opportunity to the land of haves and have nots. We continue to see the gap between wealthy and poor grow wider and people are rightfully upset about this. Now, before you accuse me of hating rich people or spewing class warfare, stop, I don't begrudge someone for having money. If they have worked hard and earned their money, good for them! What I am tired of, however, is the loopholes the rich are given at the expense of us in the middle class. People with money are able to influence those on Capital Hill to help them out even more, while people like me are only able to see my bank account get bigger by picking up a 3rd, 4th or 5th job. I do not want to be given anything, I want to work for it. Like I said, I'm not mad at you for your successes in life, I applaud you. That said, I'm tired of paying more in taxes so you can get a break.

Like I said before, conceptually this idea is fantastic. However, I'm not sure we should be mad at those on Wall Street. While I feel many of them may be immoral people, they haven't broken any laws. They are operating under the current set of laws, whether we like them or not. That said, our anger should be directed toward our elected officials past and present in Washington DC. They are the ones who make the rules. They are the ones that continue to give tax breaks to the wealthiest among us. They are the ones who have a lower approval rating than the Kardashians for gods sake. We should be occupying DC, and reminding Congress that they work for all of us, not just a select few.

I recently tried to explain to my 9 year old daughter what they were doing as we drove by Lincoln Park in Portland, where the Occupy Maine group is camping out. She had a hard time understanding it all, and rightfully so, she is only 9, but her first comment was, why camp out? I couldn't answer this question. I don't really know. I mean, I get that in order to occupy an area you need to set up shop. I get it. However, I think it is a bad way to protest. We have the most powerful form of protesting, our vote. If we are unhappy with how things are going, we can go to the ballot box and vote for people who will do right for the people. If the new batch of politicians can't do what is right, we can vote them out and start over. However, in order to make this work we have to stop worrying about party affiliation and insist that no matter what you call yourself, a Democrat or a Republican, you need to look out for everyone, not just those that give you the most in bribes.

Every good movement needs leadership. While I appreciate their attempt to keep this open to more people, it's hard to not have a central person to be the face of the movement. What's worse, is now it is starting to spin out of control. With no real leadership to speak of, and occupiers intentionally getting arrested to make some point, this movement will fall flat on its face. Again, I want to rally behind them, but I simply cannot. In order to turn things around and make this movement become a legitimate force, like the Tea Party did, it needs individuals to stand up and proclaim its purpose and goals. It needs someone to whip the occupiers into shape and lead them in a positive direction. You can claim that you are peacefully protesting until you are blue in the face, but with every arrest, every riot, every person that smashes a window, you lose more and more credibility.

In all honesty, I'm losing hope for the Occupy Wall Street movement. I'm hopeful that the concept can live on, but I think the movement itself is losing any steam it may have once had. If there is truly a large percentage, say 99%, that is pissed off with politics as usual, then we need to hit the ballot boxes next November and send a message to the politicians in Washington. If they aren't going to do what is best for all of us, we need to send them home so someone else will. That is how you get a point across. Stop trashing parks and blocking bridges. All that is going to do is disrupt the lives of people who have nothing to do with this, and that isn't acceptable. If you want to be taken seriously, do the right thing and make change, don't site around and bitch about it. I'm just saying...

I have a fear of falling, but I love the fall...

2011-10-18T13:44:00.000-04:00

We've had a pretty great stretch of weather lately. Sure, there has been some rain sprinkled in, but the past two weekends have been great. I mowed for what is, hopefully, the last time of the year on Sunday. Not with my mower, mind you. No, that hunk of junk wouldn't work longer than five minutes. Nope, instead, I had to borrow the neighbors mower. Not that I am a macho man, but there is something embarrassing about borrowing a lawn mower from your 25 year old female neighbor. Whatever, I got the lawn done, that's all that matters. Anyways, enough about me, how about what is going on around us...

9-9-9. It's a catchy title. It's easy to remember. It's great if you are rich. It's awful if you are middle class or poor. Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan is getting all sorts of headlines right now. The reason it is so bad for poor people is that many of the poor pay no income taxes, Social Security taxes or Medicare taxes. Therefore, wiping away the current tax structure and replacing it with a 9 percent income tax for everyone means they will be paying more. In addition, the poor, like everyone else, will have to pay the plans new 9 percent federal sales tax, and they are the least able to afford it. Some might call that doubling down on the nation's poorest people, but not Herman Cain. Press him on the issue and he'll give you nothing more than a "read the plan" and then change the subject. I guess, if you are looking for something good in the plan, at least the 9% sales tax is only on new goods. That way, if you want to go to the used grocery store, you can do so without worrying about a higher sales tax.

Anita Perry, wife of Republican Presidential Nominee hopeful Rick Perry, claimed that her husband has been bullied because of his faith. Really? I'll quickly counter that with two thoughts. One, Rick Perry has been bullied, that is true, but not because of his faith. No, he's been bullied because he can't form complete sentences. He's been an absolute train wreck at the debates. He's been stumbling all over himself no matter what the subject matter. Oh, and he has given in state tuition rates to illegal aliens. The Republican base isn't too keen on that sort of thing. The other thought I have on this subject is about Rick Perry's faith. First of all, I don't care what faith he practices. That sort of thing is for him, not me, to worry about. Secondly, Anita Perry does realize that the Republican base is made up of Evangelical Christians, right? If anyone is getting bullied because of their religion it is Mitt Romney for being Mormon. I'd say John Huntsman as well, but nobody it talking about him, which is too bad. I think he would actually be a good choice.

LePage excludes nonprofit groups from upcoming forums. The LePage administration is under fire, again, for their decision to not invite the Maine Association of Nonprofits to a workshop designed to share ideas on how to get Maine's economy back on track. According to Lauren LePage, the governor's daughter and assistant to the Chief of Staff, it was “because the goal is to hear firsthand from businesses, first priority will be given to them with seating,” Lauren LePage wrote. “If the situation changes as the event nears, I would be happy to include you on an alternate list and contact you.” Quickly, I'd like to point out that non-profits in Maine employ 82,000 people all over the state. These people work very hard, pay their taxes, and give back to the community in a variety of ways. Sounds to me like non-profits are job creators as well, and should have a seat at the head of the table. Is this papa LePage's way of getting back at those he doesn't think helped contribute to his campaign? Is this a new group of people / businesses we are going to try to vilify to make them sound inferior? Are we now supposed to be mad at non-profits because of their tax exempt status? Is it because they receive, in some cases, funding from state and federal government?

Let me drop a little knowledge. I worked for the Children's Theatre of Maine several years ago. We employed a minimum of 6 people year round. We employed another 10-40 people on an as needed basis. We paid rent for two locations. We bought office supplies at local stores. We purchased the items needed to set up stages, make costumes and put on classes at local stores. Our main goal was to give back to the community, and we never got a dime from the state or federal government. Without that great organization, many children wouldn't not have been inspired to take up acting. Many families would not have had a wonderful experience watching a play together, performed by local actors of all ages. Not one person on the staff made very much money. We worked hard because we believed in the what we were doing. Many non-profits are just like that. Without these types of organizations, many people will not receive the goods and services they enjoy or simply need. Without these types of organizations, many people will be without work, doing further damage to our already struggling economy. Simply put, these organizations are a vital part of our community, and need to be viewed that way. We need to stop seeing one person, or in this case, type of business, as better than another. We are all in this together, and we need to start acting that way. I'm just saying...

Class warfare, flip flops and a major collapse...

2011-09-30T15:55:00.000-04:00

It's been one hell of a week. The weekend is just a couple of hours away, and some fun times are on tap. After this week, it can't come soon enough. I've calmed down a little bit from my high stress of this morning, but I still have a few things on my mind that I would like to throw down on paper (assuming I was actually writing this in a notebook). Here goes...

The term "class warfare" has been tossed around a lot lately. Republicans are continuously accusing President Obama of class warfare due to his talk about the wealthiest American's paying their fair share in taxes. Now, that is not the subject of this post, though I would love to debate that whole issue at another time. My issue with that term is this. Nichole and I listen to WLOB (1310 AM) on the way to work just about every morning. We like to hear how host Ray Richardson sees the world through his eyes. It's most often completely different than the way we see things, but I love the local political talk. This morning Ray went on one of his usual rants. He wasn't as excited as he can get, but he was going on and on about how he is sick and tired of paying his tax dollars to people who don't work. He thinks it is insane that his hard earned money is going to people who aren't contributing to society. Quick question for you. How is this not class warfare? Unemployment is extremely high right now, and a record number of people are collecting benefits. That doesn't mean they haven't paid into the system themselves. That doesn't mean they aren't trying their hardest to find work, to no avail. Why is this sort of talk not considered class warfare?

Oh, Governor LePage. I didn't vote for you. If given another opportunity, I wouldn't vote for you. However, I want to support you. I want you to succeed, because the great State of Maine needs you to succeed. Let me tell you something though, any positive thing you do for the great people of this state will easily be lost and forgotten if you continue to lie and act like a buffoon. Back in April, you ordered that the labor mural be taken down because of an anonymous fax. I'm sorry, I'm not sure I believe that, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Next thing we all know you are saying you removed it (and hid it in a "safe place") because it only spoke to one side, labor, and you wanted to see business represented as well. Now, fast forward to late September, on a stage in New York City, you told Brian Williams of NBC that you removed it because you didn't like how it was paid for?! Look, was that an out of left field question thrown at you during an education summit? Yes, that was unfair of Williams to do that, I'll give you that. However, you gave a new answer, one that you have not given previously. Have you been lying all along, or was this a new lie? And what union were you a part of? I mean, you said you "come up from organized labor through my whole life", so you must have belonged to a labor union at some point, right? Again, I want you to succeed, so please, do us all a favor. Work hard and keep your mouth closed. It's best for all of us, trust me.

As a rabid Red Sox fan, our baseball season ended the way it began, with a thud. After starting the season with a terrible 2-10 record, they were the hottest team in baseball for the better part of the summer. Then came September, where they compiled an embarrassing 5-20 record. Every team slumps at some point in the season, but the good teams don't usually slump for an entire month. What makes it worse is that they gave up both the division lead, as well as the Wild Card lead over the course of the month. It was a collapse for the record books. It is something that you do not want attached to your team. It hurts. However, I do not want to see the team overreact. Fans all over New England and beyond are going insane right now. Fire Francona, trade Crawford, feed Dice-K to sharks, put Lackey in a dunk tank filled with piranhas, etc.

Please, everyone calm down. JD Drew's contract is up. Dice-K won't be back from Tommy John surgery until late August or early September next season, and he won't ever pitch for Boston again (I don't think). Buchholz will be back from his injury and ready to dominate. I'll play the role of Theo Epstein and tell you exactly what you need to do. Sign a right fielder. Someone like Josh Willingham or Jason Kubel. Someone that will give you 20/80 and is a solid outfielder. Pick up Marco Scutaro's option. He was solid defensively and batted .300, and has been the best shortstop in the Theo era. Resign Papelbon and Ortiz. You will not find a better DH than Big Papi, and he is a fan favorite. Papelbon needs to stay, at least for another year or two. Bard is clearly not ready to close, and Pap has been one of the best since he came onto the scene. With those positions set, go after pitching. Get more pitching. Once you have more pitching, go after more pitching. You CANNOT have enough pitching, whether it's starters or bullpen guys. Go get them, they are out there. Pitching is what killed us, so let's do something about it. Unfortunately, Francona and the Sox decided to part ways. That makes me sad. He brought us our first World Series in 86 years. I can only hope the next guy can be mentioned in the same sentence years from now with Tito. I'm just saying...

Oh Charlie, the only fraud here is you!

2011-09-22T12:12:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if you've all gotten the memo yet, but voter fraud is rampant in Maine. It's most prevalent on college campuses. Those darn kids are always messing things up. We just want to make sure informed people vote, why do those silly kids always think they know everything? See, it was different when I was in college, I knew about all the issues, and was able to vote because I fit into all the required criteria. Not like today, when kids just play Playstation and watch Family Guy. They have no idea what is going on around them. It's simply awful that we still allow them to disenfranchise the local townspeople by voting. I mean, that's what Charlie Webster, head of the Maine Republican Party says, so it must be correct, right?

Actually, voter fraud is anything but rampant in Maine. This whole game that Mr. Webster has been playing this summer has been a farce, and we all knew it. Heck, even those that supported Webster knew, deep down, that he was full of crap. As I'm sure you remember, Charlie came out earlier this summer with his list of 206 names of out of state college students that he felt committed fraud (here's a link to the press conference if you haven't seen it). He handed his list of "offenders" off to the Maine Secretary of State, Charlie Summers, and just yesterday, Summers came back with the results of his research. After two months, and much digging and prodding, it turns out, not a single one of the students on the list had committed any type of fraud. See, the problem for Webster, and the Republicans that believe there is massive amounts of fraud going on here, is that college students aren't the problem. In fact, there isn't a problem at all. The elimination of Same Day Registration by the Maine Legislature was a solution to a problem that doesn't exist.

See, college students were the targets of Webster's attack. They have every right, by law, to vote where they go to school. They voted once, in the town that they live in, just as college students have done for years, and will continue to do for years to come. The real issue, as far as I can tell, is that Webster, and I'm sure others too, don't like that college students have the ability to possibly sway an election, and the perception is that college students tend to lean to the left. It's pretty clear to me that this scares our friend Charlie Webster. So, instead of engaging college students in a positive manner, he accuses them of cheating. I'm not sure that will go very far to convincing them to support the Republican's agenda. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to see college students come out, in droves, to vote this November, especially for Question 1, which looks to reinstate same day voter registration.

In the end, I'm glad Secretary of State Summers looked into potential fraud. It proves that there was no funny business going on, and that our town officials are doing their jobs. It proves that our system works, despite the cries of many on the right. It also should put an end to this nonsense about college students and voting. We want to encourage everyone to vote, to be involved in their community, and to be a part of something bigger than themselves. We especially want college students to feel that way, as we want them to stay after graduation and contribute to Maine's economy by living, working and playing here. I am proud that Maine has one of the highest voter turnouts in the country, and hope to see that continue. I want to thank all of our town officials for all the hard work they do, and I want to encourage everyone to get out and vote on Question 1 on November 8 to reinstate same day voter registration. I'm just saying...

Rot roh, I'm at it again...

2011-08-18T15:26:00.000-04:00

There are two things I'm very passionate about in life. One is peanut butter M&M's, the other is same sex marriage. OK, I'm passionate about more than that, but these damn M&M's are just so good, I can't stop eating them! For real though, the issue of same sex marriage is extremely important to me. Obviously, I'm not gay. I am happily married to my absolute best friend, Nichole. No, my reasoning is because I believe in equal rights, no matter what color your skin is, what religion you follow, what year you were born, or who you sleep beside at night. We are all equal. Sure, some have better athletic abilities, or superior public speaking skills, or the ability to do math without a calculator, but at the end of the day, we are all human beings, and deserve the same love and respect as everyone else.

This week, the Maine Attorney General, Charlie Summers, approved the language of the citizen's initiative to allow same sex marriage in Maine. I know, we've been down that road before, just a couple of years ago, with the effort falling short at the hands of the Maine voters. Well, I think it's time to try it again. New York just passed a law allowing same sex marriages to be legal, and I'm hopeful Maine will be able to do the same thing. This much I know for sure, I'll do my part to help collect signatures and spread the word.

Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking ill thoughts right now. That's fine, I know not everyone feels the same way as me on this subject. That being said, let me just toss some ideas out there for you to chew on. How does the marriage of two people you do not know have any bearing on your life? According to the National Center for Health Statistics, in 2005, 2.23 million people were married. How many of them did you know about? You should be outraged, all those weddings really affected you 6 years ago, right? What's that? It had no bearing on you whatsoever? Oh, that's right. So, why is it that two people of the same sex bothers you?

One argument I've heard is, what happens next? If we allow two women to marry, what's to stop someone from marrying their dog or their truck. They love their truck, why can't they marry their truck? OK, besides the fact that this is just ludicrous, I'll offer you this. When your dog, or your truck can sign their name on the marriage certificate, you feel free to marry your dog or your truck. Until then, that is just a nonsensical argument, and I am not able to take you seriously.

Look, this issue appears to be very left vs. right. Democrats, for the most part, want this to pass. Republicans, for the most part, want this to fail. Based on that, I have a question. Republicans continuously claim that they want government to get out of their way and stop restricting them. Then, in the same breath, want the government to ensure that marriage equality is outlawed. So, which is it? Less government restrictions, or just certain government restrictions? I love the argument for smaller government. All that means is smaller government for things you don't want. It'll be status quo or larger government in areas you are concerned with though.

Why do we care what ANYONE does behind closed doors? Seems to me, this would be for each individual to decide for themselves. If two people are happy, who am I to tell them they can't have everything that I have? With a divorce rate of 1 out of every 2 marriages, who the hell are we to say that two loving, consenting adults can't marry? No, let's not let that happen, but if Newt Gingrich, mister family values himself want to get married again, that's totally fine. Come on, this is a silly argument. We are all equal members of society, regardless of who we lay our head next to at the end of the day. It's time that we treat each other equally.

I'm going to close by quoting two musicians, with much different backgrounds. I've got a very diverse music collection, and this will prove that. My first quote is from the song "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye. In it, he says the following:

"You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today"

while the other line is from "Changes" by Tupac:

"I got love for my brother, but we can never go nowhere unless we share with each other.
We gotta start makin' changes, learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers."

See, the point of each song is to point out that there is no difference between you and me. We need to stop demonizing people because they don't act or look like us, and remember that we are all humans, and at the end of the day, we are all brothers and sisters. Deep down, we all want the same things, and you know what, we deserve the same things. I'm just saying...

Crisis averted, sort of...

2011-08-03T16:49:00.000-04:00

As you have certainly heard by now, the debt ceiling was raised on Tuesday, avoiding a potentially catastrophic situation. Talking heads across the country have been giving their thoughts, and depending on which side of the aisle you are on, the deal was either really good or really bad. I'm far from a pundit, or a talking head, but I've got a few thoughts on the "deal". Here goes...

First of all, to call it a deal means that each side at the negotiating table got something they wanted, while having to give up something else they may have wanted. With that in mind, this was NOT a deal. Sure, President Obama won't have to go through another debt ceiling debate in his first term (assuming he gets re-elected), but to quote Speaker of the House John Boehner, "I'm pretty happy" because he got "98 percent of what he wanted" in the legislation. In short, one side of the debate getting 98% of what it wanted seems to be about as far away from a compromise as possible, especially considering how far apart the two sides were in the negotiations.

In other words, Democrats lost in this deal, and that would be due to President Obama completely caving in and allowing the Tea Party to dictate what would happen. As a Democrat, this whole process sickened me. Do we spend too much money? You bet. Do we bring in too little revenue? Sure thing. There is absolutely wasteful spending going on in Washington, but to sit here and say we only have a spending problem is absolutely untrue. The one example that has come up a lot lately is that of General Electric. They made $14.2 billion in profits in 2010, yet they received a $3.2 billion tax credit! If you find nothing wrong with this picture, I don't even want to talk to you. You are so wrong I don't even want to waste my time arguing with you. Look, I'm not one to punish success. However, there is no reason that me and my puny salary should have to pay taxes every year and GE, a giant corporation making billions of dollars walks away with a fat check from the government. That is a giant problem!

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, that I want to punish success. Not true, not even a little. Truth is, I hope to make $14.2 billion in profits someday, and when that happens, I would fully expect to pay taxes on that profit, not get a check. Asking those that make $250,000 and above to pay their fair share is not a lot to ask. Again, I know what you are going to say. The top 20% are already paying the bulk of the total tax burden while the bottom 40% pay little to no taxes. I've heard that line from so many people over the past few weeks. First of all, that is a complete lie. Second of all, poor people pay less in taxes than rich people, as they should, but it's very far from zero. Low incomes account for many that pay little to no taxes. Senior citizens receiving SSI don't pay taxes because it is exempt from federal taxes. Plus, the tax code provides benefits to low income earners with children (child tax credit, earned income tax credit). Also, to say that Joe, who works at McDonalds for minimum wage, bringing home $15,000 a year should be paying more in taxes is just insane. Joe can barely feed himself, let alone pay for housing, feed a family and pay for reliable transportation. Meanwhile, Johnny Hedge Fund Manager is bringing home $500 million a year, and is able to pay just a small portion of that money due to loopholes. Johnny HFM is certainly paying a higher amount than Joe, but paying more would impact him much less.

Anyway, while I think that the Democrats lost this battle, the real loser in all of this is the American people. We took this one on the chin. We may have avoided a default, which would have hurt us even worse, but the cuts that have been agreed upon are going to hurt average, every day Americans like you and me. Add to that the loss of faith we have in our elected officials, and the fact that they are really only concerned about their next election, not doing right by us, and we came out on the losing end, big time. Good news is, in just a few months, the new Super Congress will start the next argument of what will get cut next, all while refusing to include any revenue in the argument. Maybe Canada isn't looking so bad after all. I'm just saying...

Same Day Voter Registration, problem or not?

2011-06-22T13:52:00.000-04:00

Depending on who you talk to, this is either a huge deal, or no big deal at all. One thing is certain, it has quickly morphed from something nobody talked about to one of the most contentious laws our new Governor has signed into law. The issue at hand is whether or not Maine citizens should be allowed to register to vote on Election Day. Mainer's have had the ability to register at their local polls for 38 years, after the Republicans originally passed it into law. Now, nearly four decades later, the same Republican party is trying hard to convince us all that this is the worst thing in the world. Is it the worst thing in the world? Heck no, not even close. Let's look at both sides of the issue...

The majority of Republicans in both the House and Senate would tell you that there is plenty of time throughout the year to get into your local town office and register. They would tell you that this will prevent potential voter fraud. They will tell you that 42 others states have the same law, so they must be doing something right. They would tell you that town employees are overwhelmed with all the work to register people on Election Day.

The majority of Democrats will claim that this law will disenfranchise a number of citizens. They will tell you that this will reduce our overall number of participating voters, which is near the top nationally. They will tell you that there have only been 2 documented cases of voter fraud in the last 30 years. They will tell you that this is an unnecessary roadblock to one of our most sacred rights as citizens.

So, who should we believe? What are we to think? Well, here are my thoughts on the subject. First of all, I don't really care what 42 other states are doing. That's like telling me that 42 guys at work are wearing a dress and high heels, and that I should too. I don't care what 42 other people, or in this case, states, are doing. That is completely irrelevant to what Maine does. Maine consistently has one of the highest voter turnouts, and this will have an impact on those numbers. What we should be doing is ensuring that we make certain that each and every citizen be afforded every opportunity to cast a ballot on Election Day, not set up barriers to make it potentially more difficult.

Some are arguing that there are about 250 business days a year in which a person can get to their town office to register. Sure, that is absolutely true. However, that doesn't take into consideration a multitude of stumbling blocks. If I were to move on November 1st, it is very likely that I would not have a chance to register to vote in time. Heck, if I moved October 29th, I may not have time. Is this a very common problem? Probably not, but why take away that person's right to vote simply because they moved so close to Election Day? What if you live in a small town, and have to travel 20+ miles to and from work? Is it possible that you are not able to make it to your town office during business hours? Should you have to take a day off to register to vote, when you could so on election day to register?

One thing I think we can be proud of is the low percentage of documented voter fraud we experience in Maine. 2 cases in 30 years is great. Should we do what we can to ensure that number stays low? Absolutely. In fact, we just passed a law that requires citizens present a photo ID proving who they are before they are allowed to vote. Seems to me that should prevent dead people from voting, or those pesky people that vote multiple times. Once your name is checked off the list, you are done. Also, there have been no complaints from town employees about this process. They work their butts off, and have a smile on their face. I spent a good portion of my day at my local polls for our last election in June, and our town officials do a fantastic job.

At the end of the day, this was a solution to a problem that does not exist. I'm not going to claim racism, like many have. I won't go that far. However, I will say that this is clearly an attempt to disenfranchise potential voters, and that is really too bad. Voting is a right that we all have, and any attempt to make it more difficult is simply unnecessary. Our voices are meant to be heard by way of the ballot box, and any attempt to silence that is undemocratic. I don't care if you are a high school freshman, a college senior, or a senior citizen, we should be doing everything possible to encourage you to speak your voice on Election Day, not tell you that you are too lazy for not coming to the town office sooner to register. I would like to see us be more helpful to others, not be quick to bring them down. I would also like to see Maine stand on its own, not worry about what any other state does. Maine is nationally known as "The Way Life Should Be", not the copycat state. I'm just saying...

Double standard for dispicable acts...

2011-06-09T12:45:00.000-04:00

To start, New York Representative Anthony Weiner was my favorite politician. I love his passion. I love his interviews. I love his sarcasm. However, finding out about his growing list of indiscretions has been a bit sad for me. Do I think politicians are perfect? No, I know better than that. Too many of these elected officials feel they are invincible. That being said, I'm really bummed out by all this news. I'm sure this is far from over, as more women are coming forward, detailing Twitter, Facebook and text message conversations they have had with my (former) favorite Democrat.

Now, I am not going to sit here and defend anything Rep Weiner has done, these actions are not cool. However, what I am going to do is point out something I find fascinating, and I'm anxious to hear from you out there. According to Rep Weiner, he never had any physical relationships, just a lot of sex talk via various social media outlets. This may turn out to be a lie, as he has already lied, so this could get much worse. Rightfully so, many Democrats, and I'm pretty sure all Republicans, are calling on Rep Weiner to step down. I'm not here to say whether he should or not, I feel that is up to him. If I were him, I'd do a poll of my constituents and see where they stand on it. If a majority of them still support him, I'd say stick with it. If it turns out they don't support him, I'd walk away.

Where am I going with all of this? Let me start by pointing something out, as it seems many people have short term memory. David Vitter, a Republican Senator from Louisiana, got himself in all sorts of trouble back in 2007 when he got caught up in a prostitution ring. He had himself a madam in both DC as well as back in New Orleans. When it all went down, Republicans offered nationwide support for him, mainly because they feared that the Democratic Governor of LA at that time would appoint a Democrat in his place. Let me say that again, Senator David Vitter, married with 4 children, actually got caught having sexual relationships with prostitutes, and he was not pressured to resign. He was supported. I need help understanding how this works.

So I ask this, why the double standard? If one is wrong, they both are wrong, right? Or, if one man who committed horrible acts against his wife and family is not pressured to resign, why should another, just because they are from a different political party? I do not condone what either man has done, and I'm anxious for the day when these fools stop thinking they are above everyone else and leave their private parts covered up. If I'm a Republican, I can have sex with a hooker and it's totally fine, but god forbid I send a pic of my junk if I'm a Democrat?! Let's try something here. From now on, let's ignore what party they are from and be consistent with our judgement, whether it's support or anger. I am well aware that with the two party system, politicians will fight like cats and dogs, but let's not forget that the rules are the same for everyone. I'm just saying...

Can't we all just get along? No, seriously...

2011-05-18T14:44:00.000-04:00

I've been gone for a bit, and with good reason. With the weather warming, albeit just slightly, we've been trying to get the house presentable for the summer. The gardens are cleaned out and ready for planting, assuming this rain ever stops, and I've been mowing in between downpours. We've got our big, annual Memorial Day / my birthday party coming up in about a week and a half, so we are plugging away. In addition to all that, I've got my name on the ballot for the Board of Selectmen in New Gloucester. With this has come lots of meetings and reading, in an effort to prepare myself for the election in mid June. As is fairly obvious, I'm pretty passionate about a variety of political issues, and I've expressed my opinion on a pretty regular basis. Some people tend to think I'm extremely left wing, and I guess that may be true on some issues that I find very important. However, I feel there are some issues that I'm very down the middle, and that is what brought me back to these pages today.

There is a lot going on in politics, not just in Maine, but in the United States. Budget talks are taking up most of the time, but many other subjects of interest are popping up every day. Two of the bigger hot button issues in Maine over the past couple of weeks have been the health care overhaul that was just signed into law by Governor Paul LePage, and the defunding of Maine Public Broadcasting. I'll start by discussing the health care overhaul, move on to MPBN, and then close with some over arching issues I have with people, at least the loudest ones.

The Obama administration, not all that long ago, signed into law a landmark piece of legislation regarding a health care overall for this country. This has been hotly contested by those on the right as a "gigantic failure that was rammed down our throats without any input from Republicans". First of all, this may be true, or, more likely, it's partially true. It was done quickly, with very little input from Republicans, that much I agree with. However, I think it is too early to tell if it is a gigantic failure. Most of it hasn't even gone into affect yet. That being said, I'm not encouraged by the growing number of companies that are being exempted from the plan. However, I'm willing to give it time to be successful, or flop, before I pass too much judgement. Now, in Maine, over the course of just a few days, Republicans have passed a landmark piece of legislation regarding a corresponding overhaul. In much the same manner that was highly scrutinized when they did it in Washington, this was done with very little input, and very quickly. First of all, I'm not sure why it was alright this time, but not the first time. Again, I'm hearing very different stories from each side of the aisle, but I'm willing to wait until it is all up and running before I deem it good or bad for Mainers. The idea of more companies offering insurance, competition if you will, sounds like a good idea, at least on paper. I do fear that people in rural areas will be adversely affected by this, and with Maine being so large and spread out, that could be very bad. Either way, let's all wait and see what happens before passing too much judgement.

The other item being discussed all over the state is the defunding of MPBN. The idea of this bothers me for several reasons. Governor LePage wants to stop the $2 million a year payment to subsidize MPBN in an attempt to balance the budget. The $2 million represents 20% of MPBN's overall budget. This change would not make MPBN cease to exist, but lets look at the facts. By Federal law, MPBN is not allowed to have advertisers in the same way private radio stations are. They are allowed to have support in the form of "underwriters". Therefore, you aren't going to have a flood of small business owners looking to throw money at them, since they won't get the same bang for their buck as the do on private television and radio. Another thing about this that bothers me is that it was framed as "we either need to stop funding MPBN or get rid of the Clean Elections". This is silly and untrue. In a $6.1 BILLION budget, $2 million is nothing, it's a drop in a bucket. This money could easily be made up by, gasp, not giving tax breaks, or even just giving a smaller tax break. I think that this is another freshman Republican governor going after public broadcasting, which we have seen in other states, and nationally in the past 6 months or so. I'm hopeful that Governor LePage reconsiders this, but I don't expect him too. I would hate to see any of the programming change at MPBN. My daughter enjoyed a number of the programs when she was younger, and the High School Basketball Tournament coverage is incredible, not to mention the many great programs on the radio station that I listen to every day, from Maine Things Considered to Car Talk on Saturday mornings.

My last point today is about people that comment on stories posted on the Portland Press Herald, and other online editions of local newspapers. You people, for the most part, are vile. This doesn't mean everyone that comments, as there do appear to be some level headed folks out there. However, there are a lot of people on both sides of the aisle that have lost their collective minds. I'd like to offer some advice to right wing commenters, if any of you are listening. If you thing that the Portland Press Herald is so biased and unreadable, simply stop reading and move on with your lives. I would also like to mention that when Governor LePage does something negative, it isn't the PPH spinning it to fit their narrative, it is actually that the governor did something negative. Also, you don't always have to defend him, nobody is going to think less of you. Now, for the folks on the left, I am not letting you off the hook. Please stop crying racism any time you don't agree, it's not a one size fits all thing. I know that we are bummed that LePage won the election, but we are stuck with him for 4 years. Let's practice a little patience and do the right thing in the next election cycle. Now, a note to both sides. Please, do me, you and everyone else a favor, and stick to the topic. You spend half of your energy, and apparently your day (at least with some frequent posters), ripping on each other. Please stop using the words socialist and moonbat. Please stop accusing fellow posters of not working, since you are all spending half of your day commenting. I know, deep down, you are all better than that.

Ultimately, I would love to see people try on a little civility, just to see how it fits. On Monday night, Nichole and I watched Jon Stewart on the O'Reilly Factor on Fox News. Jon and Bill were debating the invite of rapper Common to the White House for a poetry reading event. They had a nice, civil debate on the subject. I would like to see more of this sort of thing. Too often on these "news" shows invite only people that agree with them, but it's nice to see a good back and forth, allowing equal time to both sides of a particular issue. Heck, that is one of the reasons I so love to talk about politics on this blog, knowing it will spark some back and forth with some people. I'm not expecting everyone to agree with me, that isn't possible. I mean, I wish everyone did, but seeing different answers to these situations helps the world go around, and I'm hopeful that we can some day tone down the hate and the anger to those that disagree with us. At the end of the day, we all want a better state, country and ultimately, world. Let's all come to the table and offer something positive to the debate about how to get there. I'm just saying...

To Kill a Mockingturd...

2011-05-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

It was 10:00 PM on Sunday night. I was exhausted from a long weekend of fun and running around. I was up in my home office doing some work for a client. When I finished up, I was coming back downstairs to see if Nichole was still awake. There she was, sitting on the couch, with a puzzled look on her face. The President is going to make an announcement at 10:30 she tells me. What? On a Sunday night? That seems odd we both thought. What the heck could it be? Speculation started to run pretty rampant on the various channels we flipped through, as we searched for more answers. Slowly, more and more info started coming in. As it became more and more clear what was going on, the reporters grins got bigger and bigger, and we realized what was happening. When President Obama finally walked in front of the camera, we all knew what had happened. The US had found and killed Osama Bin Laden, the face of Al-Qaida, the mastermind of the September 11th attacks from 10 years ago. I remember raising my hands to the sky in excitement. This is, to quote Vice President Joe Biden, a "big fucking deal"! This man has eluded us for a very long time. Both Presidents Clinton and GW Bush hunted for him for years, with no luck. This is big news.

However, here we sit, about 36 hours later, and I'm a little confused. We were finally able to rid the world of the most wanted terrorist, and we are arguing about who deserves credit?! We are making this political, or taking sides?! We are saying that killing a person in response to killing others is wrong?! I feel like I went to sleep Sunday night and woke up in some confusing, odd place. What the hell just happened? The United States of America is responsible for killing the most wanted man in the world, and we aren't allowed to find some peace in that? We are supposed to be mad at President Obama for not bringing him back to the United States, alive, so he could sit in a jail cell and go on trial? What should we have done? We have been after him for many years, what do you suggest we should have done differently?

This was an amazing job done by the Navy Seals, the CIA and the President and his inner circle. This was all done in secret, and was executed flawlessly, despite losing a helicopter in the process. Everyone involved in this deserves tons of credit for not only the planning, but the execution of those plans. The Navy Seals did an amazing job, putting themselves in harms way like they did. The CIA, using varying sources for intelligence gathering, deserve high praise. President Obama, for insisting we don't just blow up the compound, but to make sure we actually got Bin Laden, deserves some credit too. This was truly a group effort, and it makes me proud to be an American, to know that we worked together to make this happen.

President Obama did not kill Bin Laden, and I'm not sure where people have heard anyone say that. For those of you who stayed up late on Sunday to watch his address, he made it very clear what happened. He never suggested that we got Bin Laden all thanks to him. In fact, this isn't about President Obama at all. I would be just as happy if this had happened on former President Bush's watch. This isn't about politics to me, this is about taking an evil bastard out. Sadly, there is a large number of people out there that just refuse to say anything good about President Obama. I would bet my home that if we had done this exact thing 6 years ago, it would be a much different reaction. I would like to suggest to those of you who are subscribing to the conspiracy theories and following the directive of Fox News, please stop making this political. This search has been ongoing. This day was going to come. Don't be mad that it happened during President Obama's administration. Be happy that we finally took Bin Laden out, like we've been trying to do for years.

For those of you who are preaching that taking one life for another is wrong, I ask you this: If someone comes in to your home and murders your child or spouse, do you not want justice to be served? Would you not go to the ends of the earth to protect your family? Would you just like the police to come and put handcuffs on him and then pay your hard earned tax dollars to have him sit in jail until his term is up? To that I say, no freaking way! This is how I see things. The United States of America is one giant family. Sure, it's a bit dysfunctional, but what family isn't. This family needs to stick together, and defend itself. I'm not a fan of guns, I've made that clear in past posts, but when you mess with my family, I won't rest until you get what you deserve. We have lost so many great men and women over the years searching for this monster, and I hope, in some way, their families will find even just a little closure. I know that I, as someone who didn't directly lose a family member, but feels as though I lost thousands of brothers and sisters throughout this process, feels good knowing we took this guy out.

Will this end the war on terror? Is the world a safer place without Osama Bin Laden? No, the war on terror will continue to be fought for the rest of our lives. I don't think that the world is a safer place without Bin Laden, but it's one less terrorist on the loose. The face of Al-Qaida is no more. I'm sure others will rise in his absence, but we need to continue to work diligently to make sure these types of people aren't able to take out more of our family. Remember how we came together as a country after those awful attacks ten years ago? We need to do that again. This country is a great place, and we need to stop politicizing everything, pointing fingers at everyone that doesn't agree with us or look like us, and roll up our sleeves and get to work. I'm just saying...

I just can't help myself, I have to put my two cents in...

2011-04-27T13:26:00.000-04:00

I've been trying to stay away from talking politics recently, but I just can't help myself. There are some things I need to interject my opinion into, so yeah, there you go. I'm sure there will be some differing of opinions, and that's fine, I would love to hear from you if you feel differently on anything I bring up today. I'll quickly touch upon one national "issue", and the rest will be confined to Maine. All that being said, let the games begin...

President Obama presented his actual birth certificate today. OK, can we finally move on? I mean, we've given Donald Trump way too much time on this issue. This country has problems, big ones. Running around making false claims that the President isn't an American citizen was not only dumb, but a distraction from the real issues facing us as a nation. I'm not sure, at this point, if anyone is actually taking Donald Trump seriously, but I hope this ends things for him. Though, now it appears that he is moving his narrative to criticize President Obama's grades in college. Dear Trump, you are a turd, go away. There, last time the "birther" movement needs to be discussed, and hopefully the last time I mention Trump too.

There are a few bills kicking around the Maine legislature right now that are getting some publicity, both good and bad. One has to do with the legalization of marijuana. Now, before you say anything, hear me out. I'm not advocating for the use of it, I just want to look at it from a realistic perspective. People are smoking pot. Adults are, kids are, lots of people are. This is a fact. Is there a statistic out there that shows the number of deaths each year that are pot related? I can't find one, because the answer is there are none. However, there are an estimated 435,000 tobacco related deaths each year. I'll give you a minute to reread that and think about it. Now, what does all this mean for Maine? Well, if we were to legalize marijuana, and regulate it similarly to tobacco and alcohol, we could then tax the sales of it and collect revenue, which the states needs badly. Also, we would spend much less on the war on drugs as well as spend less on jailing people for petty crimes that are marijuana related. Is this the answer to our budget problems? No, not at all, but I do think it is something worth looking at. Look, marijuana is still illegal federally, so it won't happen here in Maine, at least not yet. However, I have thought this would be a very beneficial thing for the feds and states to do to generate a new source of revenue that doesn't require government to raise taxes. Socially liberal and fiscally conservative, I'd say it's a pretty good compromise!

Billboards, really?! Maine is one of just 4 states that don't currently allow them, along with Hawaii, Vermont and Alaska. I'll be honest, I like that we are on that short list. The idea is that businesses would rent the billboards from the state, who would use that revenue to pay for road maintenance. In theory, sure, that makes sense. However, this is just a bad idea. Maine is known for its natural beauty. Covering that up with obnoxious, oversized signs telling me that there is a McDonald's in Waterville or Freeport is ludicrous. First of all, if we are trying to educate tourists on what businesses are out there, I hate to break it to you, but they probably already know what is out there. Most people will scour the Internet for places to visit, or have smart phones that tell them everything they need to know, so a billboard isn't going to change anything. Secondly, this is supposed to be a great benefit to Maine's small businesses, as they will be able to let travelers know they are out there. Riddle me this, how much will it cost to rent one of these fancy new billboards? $4000 a month? More? How many mom and pop stores or antique shops have that kind of advertising budget? I'm sorry, but with social media as it is, small businesses are much further ahead utilizing a free medium to get their message out to the masses. Remember, Maine is the way life should be, let's keep it that way with regards to billboards, please!

Now there is word that there are some shakeups in the LePage administration. I'd like to see him and his crew get their, well, I'd like to see them get their shit together. If and when that finally happens, maybe something positive can come out of the next four years. Until then, I guess we'll just keep hearing about bickering and silliness, with no real progress being made toward getting Mainers back to work. Hang on to your butts everyone, this is going to be a bumpy ride. I'm just saying...

No more crappy car blues!

2011-04-26T18:39:00.001-04:00

Anyone that has been in our (old) car over the past year or so understands why we did what we did this past weekend. I mean, I loved the CRV, it certainly served its purpose, but let's be honest, that pretty little thing was on its last leg, and I'm pretty sure that said leg was broken. It's squeaked, it squealed, it shook and it was fairly busted up. There was a plug in one of the tires, a couple of cracks in the windshield, and the key would only fit in the keyhole on the drivers side door on occasion. The trunk was difficult to open, the check engine light was on, and it was due for an inspection in May. That info alone should tell you that what we did was the right thing to do. Not enough for ya, fine, I'll continue. It got about 23 miles to the gallon, and with gas prices as they are, and not getting better any time soon, we were dropping at least $100 a week. There, that ought to seal the deal. So, what did we do about it you ask. Well, we did what we have been wanting to do for a while now. We our the proud owners of a 2008 Toyota Prius.

After reading about all of the problems our old car had, what do you think the dealer told us? I fully expected them to offer me a pack of Bubblicious brand bubble gum in exchange for it, but they actually gave us $4500! I couldn't believe it. It turns out, that is exactly what we owed on it, so that was a wash, and we were more than happy with that result! The CRV wasn't worth a damn, not in the state it was in. We had gone to another dealer and they offered us $3000, and they didn't want to go that high. That and the Prius they had wasn't as good as the one we got, so I guess that all worked out. I won't mention the name of that dealer, but let's just say, I won't be recommending them any time soon. The kid that helped us told us, at one point, that it wasn't his sale, he wasn't making any money, so he didn't care and wasn't about to try too hard. Well, at least he was honest. Needless to say, we didn't call them back. I would have to say that we did a good job negotiating to get exactly what we wanted, which was more than our car was worth, and lowering the purchase price down to where we wanted it, both of which happened. Not bad for a couple that can't negotiate worth a damn!

Low mileage, same monthly payment and averaging 40+ miles per gallon are just a few of the things I love about the car. It has a backup camera, which is odd to get used to, but a nice feature. It is actually much bigger than you would think, and that's good, considering I'm fairly tall. The touch screen offers you many different options, one of which is a screen that details your consumption, which is a great tool to teach you the best way to utilize the car so that you are running on battery more than gas, which ups your overall gas mileage. Currently we are averaging 44.3 MPG, which is nearly double the CRV. Let's put it this way, we picked up the car Saturday afternoon, and since then have put over 250 miles on the car, and the gas tank is just barely below half. All this being said, the first things we heard when we mentioned it on Facebook weren't immediately positive. Don't get me wrong, the congratulations came, but at first we heard something else...

Wait, what's that I hear, jokes?! These are real jokes we have heard since Saturday morning, and in no particular order...

- Does that come in adult size?

- Think I'll keep my explorer, hahah, and maybe if you ask nice, I'll pull you out this winter!

- Did you put on your Obama 2008 sticker, or do they come automatic with one?

- I have a LePage sticker earmarked for that thing.

- Do you actually fit in it?

Alright, I'll spend a few minutes clearing some things up for everyone. Yes, it's a smaller car, but I do actually fit in it. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't fit, I probably wouldn't have made the purchase. Wouldn't really make sense, would it? As for pulling us out this winter, I appreciate the offer, but something tells me that 16 years of Maine winters have taught me how to drive, I'm all set, thanks. Oh, and for those that tried to make it a political thing, stop. It's dumb. Republicans claim to be fiscally conservative, so you would think this would be right up their alley. I mean, we just cut our gas budget in half, and we have the same car payment. Doesn't get more conservative than that, right? However, the jokes persist. Keep your gas guzzling car, spend over $65 to fill your tank, and when gas prices climb up to or over $5.00 a gallon this summer, I'll be the one laughing at you. And maybe, if you ask nice, I'll give you a ride when you can no longer afford to fill your tank. I'm just saying...

My thoughts are deep, deep I tell you...

2011-04-22T13:01:00.000-04:00

Welcome to today. It's Friday, Earth Day, Good Friday, the start of Easter weekend and it's sunny out. My brain is all over the place today. Oh, and I'm tired. There, now that all of that is out of the way, how is everyone else doing? Great, grand, wonderful! Moving right along, today's post will be more a hodge podge of random thoughts that are dancing around in my head than anything else. Feel free to continue reading, or get back to your regularly scheduled programming, it's all up to you. If I were you, I know I would keep reading, this is riveting stuff, trust me...

The Royal Wedding. I'm sure you've heard about this. Holy hell, we've all heard too much about it at this point. Every news outlet, magazine, tabloid, newspaper, website and whatever else is talking about it. Let me ask you this, why do we care? What is the big deal? None of us are getting invited, and if you did, that set of steak knives or can opener isn't going to cut it as a gift. Seriously though, why is this such a big story? I don't care, and I'm anxious for it to be over so we can move on to potentially, but not likely, more newsworthy stories.

Earth Day. How are you celebrating Earth Day? Are you one of those that thinks it is a big joke and today is the day you just leave your car running in the driveway all day while heating your house with you stove and spiking your hair with Aqua Net? Or, do you take it very seriously, and plant a tree, turn your thermostat on your hot water heater down or pick up some recycling bins for your household trash? Nichole and I take this sort of thing very seriously. Will we make a huge impact, no, but we can, at the very least, do our part. We are currently looking to trade our SUV, which gets about 22 MPG in for a more economical hybrid, which will get us about 50 MPG. We planted seeds to start our first garden about two weeks ago, and we are picking up a new composting bin to help feed our garden. We already recycle our bottles and cans, as well as cardboard, tin, glass and plastics. We have changed our light bulbs to CFL bulbs and are continuing to see what else we can do to make a difference, no matter how big or small. I hope that all of you are too.

My music interest are varied, and depending on the day or my mood, my selections can change drastically. Lately, however, I've been mildly obsessed with Brett Dennen, Ray LaMontagne and Florence and the Machine. I just can't listen to them enough. There have been others splashed into the mix, but they are dominating my at work playlist lately. If you haven't heard of them, or have only heard very little of them, give them a looksee. They are all really great musical talents, and I can only hope they bring as much joy to your day as they have been bringing to mine lately. Oh, and speaking of music, I still think Jane Says by Jane's Addiction is my favorite song of all time. It just never gets old.

Speaking of addictions, Words With Friends on the iPhone. Wow, obsessed. Maybe not as bad as when I first discovered this gem, but obsessed just the same. It's simply Scrabble via a cell phone. You can have many games going at the same time, and you play at your own pace. It's a lot of fun, and it's even better when you win, because there is a chat function, for the wonderful smack talk! Wanna play against me? You can find me via Facebook, Twitter, or just type in markastevens into the search function. I'm going to warn you, though. I don't lose. Well, maybe a little, but I won't anymore!

Hey, things are looking up. It appears to finally be getting warmer outside, the Celtics are up 2-0, the Bruins tied things up 2-2 last night, the Red Sox are creeping back up toward .500 and it's damn near the weekend. Here's hoping that you all have a wonderful Easter weekend. I know I'll be all hopped up on Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, and I'm very excited about it. I'm just saying...

Dog may be man's best friend, but I'm not sure if that should be plural...

2011-04-21T15:02:00.001-04:00

I spent the better part of my childhood scared of dogs. Literally, they scared the living hell out of me. We never had a pooch growing up, just little old Kikki, the family cat, that lived a long, good life. I remember visiting people that did have dogs, and they always seemed to muckle on to me. I'm not sure if they could sense the fear in my body language, or if they could smell the actual shit that I had dropped in my pants due to their existence in the same room as me, I'm just not sure. I distinctly remember being bitten at least twice growing up, and vividly remember having to peddle my mountain bike as hard as my legs could move it to outrun a small pack of dogs out in the middle of freaking nowhere back home in The County. These images still haunt me today, I'm not going to lie to you. Fast forward to about four years ago. Nichole and I were living in Freeport, the original Chateau Marcole. Nichole begged me to get a dog. I insisted that we didn't have enough room for a dog there, and when, someday, we bought our very own house, she could get one then. Secretly, I thought that day would never come. Turns out I was wrong.

We moved into the present day Chateau Marcoligan back in February of 2008, and I don't think we were even fully unpacked and Nichole dropped the bomb on me. Not only did she find the dog she wanted, we had to drive down to New Hampshire to pick him up. His name was Goober, a six month old chocolate lab. Goober, while fitting, wasn't a name we were going to keep. I may not have been really ready for a dog, but I wasn't going to be yelling for Goober out the front door for all the neighbors to hear, no sir. Wanting to keep the name sports related, we went with Yawkey, in honor of the Red Sox. Was I ready for a new member of the family? Not really, but I knew how badly Nichole wanted him, so I had to quickly get over my uneasiness around dogs. It didn't take long either.

Here we are, three years later, and I can't imagine life without our crazy pooch. He's really become my dog, almost. I take him with me any time I go somewhere in the car, most nights he sleeps with his head right on my chest, and he is always there to give me a big hug when I walk in the door after a long day at work. I can see why people call them man's best friend, as he truly is a great companion. Sure, he's crazy and I'm allergic to him, but those are things we can live with, knowing that we have a great dog at home. Recently, Nichole has been wondering if we could add a second dog to the mix. Yawkey would love a playmate she says. I love my dog, but two dogs seems like a lot more for some reason. Well, we've had a chance to find out what it would be like this week.

Our friends, the McCullough's, are on vacation this week, and in exchange for watching Yawkey a few weeks back, we are dog sitting for Noah, their 2 year old lab. The two boys are very excited to have someone to play with, and have had a ball together. As they become more used to being around each other, they have become more well behaved, and the humping has slowed down to almost nothing at this point. It's been a lot of fun watching them interact and play. However, two dogs is a lot more work than one dog. They are both used to different schedules and have different habits. Yawkey is a lazy bastard and would sleep until noon if you let him. Noah likes getting up at 5:00 AM and starts pacing the bedroom. Our backyard is pretty wet right now, due to all the rain and snow runoff, so we can't just let them out the back door to use the "facilities", so we have to take them each out for a walk. We started by doing one at a time so they could focus on the task at hand, and not piss on each other as they try to cover each others scent. It never fails, when you let one out, the other pushes you out of the way and the both end up getting out. Oh, and no matter how much water you give them, they find it completely necessary to fight over who gets to drink out of the toilet. And don't get me started on how much more hair they shed when in a pair versus just one!

Long story short, I'll dog sit another dog, but I'm definitely not ready to get another dog, not at Chateau Marcoligan. Maybe, when we trade up to our next home, a farm with lots of room, named Chateau Marcoligan&baby, maybe then I'll reconsider it all. When they can spend time outside and not try to run to the neighbors to drop stink bombs or chase after the occasional car. All this dog talk reminds me, I need to go get more eye drops, my allergies are killing me! I'm just saying...

What's better than one cup of tea? Well, three, of course...

2011-04-20T15:39:00.000-04:00

Greg Mortenson, famed author for his New York Times bestsellers "Three Cups of Tea" and "Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Books, not Bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan", has found himself smack dab in the middle of a pretty big controversy. For those of you who haven't heard, Mortenson is the man who shot to international fame with the above mentioned books, which describe him getting lost while climbing K2, the world's second-highest peak, later being rescued by Pakistani villagers in the village of Korphe and vowing to return there to build a school for local girls. His books were inspiring, and his organization, Central Asia Institute, raised millions. His plans were grand, and certainly not easy to achieve, but he saw the good in people, and the need to provide them with some of the same opportunities that he had. It's pretty easy to see how people got behind him and his endeavors.

However, a recent report by Jon Krakauer, a former supporter and friend, paints a much different picture. In Krakauer's new book, "Three Cups of Deceit", he paints Mortenson out to be a fraud, who only did this to further himself financially. For the year ending December 31, 2009, Mortenson's charity, CAI, had expenses of $9.7 million. Of that, $4.6 millions was spent on what was listed as "domestic outreach and education" and "lectures and guest appearances across the United States." Could these be legit, sure, they are legit expenses. To the tune of $4.6 million, though, seems a bit exorbitant. Another $1.5 million went toward advertising and promoting Mortenson's books. Again, a legit expense, but on the high end. That is exactly what Montana Attorney General Steve Bullock is looking in to. Central Asia Institute has a mission statement of building and operating schools in Afghanistan, and it would appear that Mortenson isn't staying true to the organizations mission.

So, why should we care you ask. My child won't be spending any time in school in the Middle East. Sure, you are right. However, for the 4 plus million people that have read his books, they are heart broken. Mortenson painted a picture of a true humanitarian, a larger than life hero that was spreading good throughout a war torn region where women aren't exactly on a level playing field with men. Now, everyone is questioning the validity of his recollections and his motives. Are these books based on facts, or exaggerated memories? Was the charity set up to truly spread good will across the Middle East, or to give Mortenson the golden parachute he would never have had otherwise? Will this story have the happy ending many thought it already did, or will this turn into another instance of greed over grace? Time will tell, but it's not sounding good for Greg Mortenson. For those of you who purchased his books, I hope you kept your receipt. I'm just saying...

In case of an emergency, put on your pants...

2011-04-12T11:10:00.001-04:00

It was about 11:15 last night. We were sitting up, watching The Daily Show, when all of a sudden we hear a loud knocking sound coming from the dining room area of the house, and Yawkey, our chocolate lab, goes crazy. Nichole and I both freeze, curious what the hell just happened. Was it a knock at the door? At this time of night, who the hell could it be? Could it have been the cat, who is a complete tool, and probably just knocked something over? Always a possibility. Fortunately, I have my contacts in still, so I can actually see what I'm getting myself into. So, how did we react to a potential intruder?

My first thought was not great, but I went ahead and did it anyways. I nervously yell out "HELLO?!", thinking that if someone was in the house, the sound of a voice might scare them off?! Is that the best way to scare off someone, absolutely not, but it was the first thing I thought of, so back off! Plus, I was in bed, in my underwear, so I wasn't really ready to just run out and see what may or may not be there. I needed to put my pants on first, because I'm the guy that thinks of pants at a time like that. You never know what might happen, and I want to have pants on, just in case. I'm not about to defend the wife and I, if that needs to be the case, in my boxer shorts. Once I was properly dressed I followed the dog out to the kitchen. Yawkey is still barking like crazy and staring at the main entrance to the house. What the heck just happened?!

As we enter the kitchen, we see nothing to suggest someone was in the house. The doors are all locked and the motion lights outside are still off. Our guard dog is still sensing something, but his barks have greatly backed off. I flip on all the outside lights to see if I can see anything, and there is nothing in the back, front or side yards. I did happen to notice a garbage barrel that we have filled with kindling had been knocked over in the back yard. I'm not sure, at this point, if that had been done by Yawkey earlier in the evening or if that was the sound we heard. Our yard is still quite wet, so I think we would have seen foot prints if it were a human or large animal. Next I head down to the basement to check around down there. Again, nothing seems out of place. Perhaps it was just our crazy kitten after all?!

Well, I head back upstairs and to the bedroom. Nichole has finally come out from behind the dresser in our room, where she has been hiding for about 15 minutes now. See, her master plan in case of an emergency is to jump out of our bathroom window and run away. As I'm making my way into the bedroom, I see her putting a giant knife, basically a meat cleaver, under the mattress on her side of the bed. Her thought was, if something is coming after her, she'll chop their arm off and then jump out the bathroom window?! I'm chuckling at this as I make it over to my side of the bed, only to find the rest of our knives, still in the block, sitting on the floor right next to where I sleep. I usually have a baseball bat nearby, just in case, but now I am really prepared, I guess.

We sat in the bedroom, with the door open, for about 15 more minutes, until we decided we either heard something that wasn't there, or it was just the cat. I strip the sweatpants back off and pop out my contacts and fall fast asleep. We never heard anything more, and Yawkey didn't seem to be worried any more. Whatever it was, everything turned out fine. Before I know it, the alarm is going off in my ear, just above about a dozen knives, which caught me off guard when I woke up! We may want to look into something different for the future, like that bow and arrow I've been asking for! I'm just saying...

We got an invite to the party!

2011-04-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

Now, before you get all excited, thinking it was some cool party, it wasn't. I mean, it is a fairly exclusive group, but not because they aren't trying. They just have an odd way of going about things. They meet every Sunday, and those in the group are super passionate about what it is they are trying to do. Do I agree with some of what they are saying, sure, I do. However, there is a ton of things I just can't agree with. The party I"m speaking of is, none other than, the Tea Party of Cumberland County. Yup, the Tea Party. Now, let me tell you how this came about...

Saturday night started off pretty innocently. We were supposed to meet friends out in Auburn, but Nichole caught a strange case of insomnia and we decided to turn in early and get some rest. On our way home, we were discussing what to eat for dinner. We decided to jump off the diet for the night and grab a pizza from Mario's Restaurant in New Gloucester on our way to the homestead. When we went in to pick it up there were a handful of guys chatting near the cash register. While we were waiting for our pizza to come out, one of the guys starts talking politics. I look at Nichole, away from the other guys, and plead and beg her not to butt in. I just wanted to get our pizza and go home, and I now where this conversation could go, as I quickly realize we view things differently than they do. That's right, she couldn't help herself, and jumps right into the discussion.

We quickly learn that the most vocal guy in the group is a member of the Tea Party. I have no problem with that, we are all different and have varying views on how to make things better for both Maine and the country. What I do have a problem with is the ridiculous double speak and continuing use of talking points that comes spewing out of his mouth. During the conversation we all agreed that Governor LePage and the legislature are really just distracting the public by arguing about whoopie pies and murals. We both agree that by distracting us from the real issues, we don't call them out for not doing anything to get Maine back on the right track, which is, in my opinion, what is going on right now. Then our new "friend" starts to go places that I will never agree with...

Before I know it, the conversation has continued outside, and our pizza is getting cold. Things turned from local politics to the national scene. I agreed with Mr. Horr (seriously, his last name is Horr, pronounced whore, I'm not making this up) that we should not be in Libya. However, he then tried to tell me that the only reason we are there is because President Obama wants to strengthen his ties with the Muslim Brotherhood. Come on, really? Then why aren't we in Tunisia, Egypt or Bahrain? Give me a break. Then we got onto the subject of same sex marriage. He started out by saying that he doesn't care what people do, as long as he doesn't have to see it, but marriage can only be between a man and a woman. Wait, which is it, do you not care or do you? Sounds to me like you do care, even though you JUST told us you didn't. I asked him why he would care if two men or two women got married, how would that bother him. His rebuttal was one of the most insane arguments I have ever heard, and I let him know that. He said, and I quote, "I love my truck, can I marry my truck?". My quick response was, "if that is your argument, that is just dumb". Seriously, marry your truck? Stupid.

The next few minutes were spent discussing how "the people will screw things up and re-elect President Obama". I said, hold on a minute there big guy. Are you telling me that Palin is a viable option? What about Michelle Bachman? How about Newt Gingrich? Donald Trump? If the Republicans are putting one of these people forward as President Obama's opponent, I don't see how they have a chance to defeat him. If they put up a viable candidate, anything can happen. Then he went off the reservation, in my opinion. He promised us that the world would end in three years if President Obama was re-elected. Yup, Armageddon. End of world. All because of President Obama. Looney Tunes stuff right there.

After about 30 minutes, we were finally going our separate ways, as I had heard enough and was climbing into the car. About 4 times he told us he would love to have us come to one of their meetings, that they need young, involved people like us. I feel like he missed the part where we didn't agree with much he had to say?! I am absolutely frustrated with how things are going right now. That being said, I want nothing to do with the Tea Party. Like I said earlier, there are some things I agree with, but only to an extent. Plus, I'm not taking political advice from a guy that drives an El Camino, keeps a toilet in his driveway, and has a last name like Horr, I just can't do it. Plus, he's responsible for creating a controversial sign back in 2008, during the presidential campaign between Obama and John McCain. I'll find a different political group to join, which I'll talk about tomorrow. I'm just saying...

A couple of things I'm just not sure I understand...

2011-04-01T12:49:00.000-04:00

With Spring on its way, at least according to the calendar, I have a few things dancing around in my brain that I have never fully understood. Any chance you, my faithful readers, can help me with these brain busters? I would surely appreciate it. Just ask the wife, I lay up at night thinking about these things, and many others, causing her to have sleepless nights as well. In fact, she may want these queries answered more than I do. Here we go...

When a road needs patching, why do crews just lay the asphalt on top of the pothole? They don't pack it down, I'm sure, in hopes that vehicles will help seal up the hole, but does that ever actually work? I mean, all the fresh asphalt ends up on our cars and around the pothole, not actually in it. Is it just me, or is this not only a complete waste of time, but a waste of tax payer dollars? Seriously, this seems like a complete waste of time and money. I mean, don't construction crews have a bridge they can all watch someone else work on?

April snow storms. I mean, I know we live in Maine, but give me a damn break! Mother Nature is dropping a heavy, wet white dump on us today. Just when we could see almost all of our lawn too. Now the driveway, which was already a bit of a mess, will get torn up more from the snowplow (through no fault of our great plow guy, it's just the nature of the beast), and we have more melting to worry about in the low spots in our yard. If I can find a positive side to this, I guess it would be that the office is closed?! Of course, that would be good if I had known before I showed up to a pitch black 4th floor. Oh well, good chance to get some things done while I crank out the tunes.

Speaking of this big old snow storm, how does a meteorologist get licensed? I mean, really, they are hardly ever right, and most of the time the are simply hedging their bets. "Today will be partly sunny" or "partly cloudy". No kidding, every day could be partly cloudy or sunny. And while I'm on the subject, the two are the same, you aren't fooling us! If I was wrong as often as they are, I would be spending half of my day waiting in line at the soup kitchen. No offense to any of you weather "predictors" out there, but come on, what a sweet gig.

April Fool's Day?! How the heck did that start? Don't get me wrong, I've had fun with it over the years, but I don't really understand the point of it. Is it necessary to purposely mess with people? Do we really need a specific day for that? It's a lot more fun when you just do it any time of year, people don't come to expect it as much.

If salt is good to put on snow to help it melt, and so is cat litter, could we just put cat litter on our food for extra flavor? Also, if salt has that effect on snow, what is it doing in our stomachs? I'm not suggesting putting used cat litter on our food, that is a little too much extra flavor, and the dog would be begging way too much then. I have, for the most part, removed salt and sugar from my diet, and I've been feeling great, so maybe there is a connection between melting snow and some weird chemical reaction in my stomach?! All I know is that I'm not leaning toward sprinkling a dash of Tidy Cat on my pizza any time soon!

Why do cats always have to lay on something? For example, we put our unlooked (that's a word, right?!) at mail in a pile on the kitchen table, until we have a chance to go through it. The cats will only lay on the pile of mail?! Why? The pile covers maybe 2% of the table. One of our cats, laying down, takes up maybe 15% of the table. Why do they have to lay on the mail? Seems to me they would want to lay on the smoother service, but no. Then, undoubtedly, one of our fat, lazy cats will knock the aforementioned pile of mail on to the floor, leaving us with a mess to pick up when we get home. I know the answer to our problem is to not leave the mail there, I know. But, why do cats, because it's not just our cats that do this, find this necessary?

I know I could probably use my waking hours more constructively, but these are the sorts of things that keep me up at night. Someone, anyone, please help! I'm just saying...

My very own anonymous letter to Governor LePage...

2011-03-29T13:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Governor LePage,

First of all, I want you to notice that I addressed you with respect. Do I feel as though you deserve my respect? No, not at all, but you are the governor, so I will give you the respect a person in your position deserves. You are a mere 90 days into your four year term, and you have gone out of your way to continuously disrespect the great people of this state. Furthermore, I didn't vote for you. In fact, if you ran 10 more times I wouldn't vote for you. If you ran against a turd, I would vote for the turd. All that being said, I will address you with respect.

I'm writing to you today to point out a few things. I know that you are aware that you were elected with only 39% of the vote. You don't need me to remind you of that. I'm pretty sure you have heard everyone on television mention that at this point. I mean, that is why you are doing some of what you are doing, isn't it? To hear your name on tv. What else would explain you picking some of these stupid fights? Was it really necessary for you to remove a mural in the Department of Labor? Absolutely not. This was paid for by a federal grant, and depicted some pioneers in the history of Maine's LABOR movement. Seems to be pretty fitting to me for it to be located at the Department of Labor. If this mural was hung at the, say, "Department of Big Business and Corporate Interests, Including But Not Limited To Union Busting", then I would completely agree with you. But, last I checked, this wasn't the case. No matter how you try to justify this move, and no matter how much extra you are paying Dan Demeritt and Adrienne Bennett to agree with you, this is a giant slap in the face to many working people in Maine. It's a slap in the face to those that worked so hard to ensure that generations after them would have safe working conditions, 40 hour work weeks and adequate breaks over the course of the work day.  You should try to work with both sides to make history in a positive way, not erase history in a negative way.

Next, I'd like to ask you to be honest with yourself, as well as the great people of the State of Maine. We all realize that difficult decisions need to be made, and that you are not going to please everyone along the way, it's simply not possible. However, one thing you could try is to, at the very least, pretend to understand where the other side of the equation is coming from. Some tough cuts need to be made to the budget. Some important programs may need to be cut, or at least scaled back. However, mocking people isn't called for. I know some people (cough, 39%) feel that having a "real person", someone that "tells it like it is", is just what this state needs, but a vast majority of us view things differently. We expect more from our elected officials, especially when they are representing our great state, not only to the rest of the country, but to the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of The Daily Show, but I never want to see Maine mocked by Jon Stewart, that means we made headlines for all the wrong reasons. I, and many others just like me, would love it if you stopped telling people to "kiss you butt" or to "go to hell". We also find it rude that you would say, "I'd laugh at them, the idiots. That's what I would do. Come on! Get over yourselves!", in response to someone suggesting they form a human chain in order to block the removal of the mural at the Labor office. I might agree with you that the suggestion was silly, but I'm not sure that, as governor, this should be your response of choice. A governor should be a beacon of professionalism, especially when the livelihoods and futures of your constituents are at risk.

In closing, I realize that you enjoy hearing your name on television and reading your name in the headlines, otherwise you wouldn't be doing all of this. I know you say that you don't read the papers, but let's be honest, you not only read them, you love any attention you are getting. I know that you didn't get enough attention as a kid out on the mean streets of Lewiston, so you are attempting to make up for it later in life. I get it, I really do. However, my future, my child's future are in your hands right now, and you are fucking that up.  Pandering to your base at a time like this is absolutely uncalled for.  We have thousands and thousands of highly creative and smart people in this state that are struggling to survive because of high expenses and poor transportion opportunities. This has nothing to do with unions. This has nothing to do with whoopie pies or blueberry pies. This has nothing to do with estate taxes. This has nothing to do with murals at the Department of Labor. This has to do with poor road conditions, lack of high speed rail, high energy costs and sky rocketing insurance rates. These should be your focus in Augusta. Fixing these problems will help open doors for the creative people to expand and hire. Giving small business owners, who are the backbone of Maine, the ability to do what they do best will benefit every one of us.

I live in Maine because I love it here. It is a beautiful state, one that offers four great seasons and a wonderful array of enjoyable activities. I have started a family here, and want nothing more than to start my own business here and see it grow and bring other people both joy as well as incomes. I'm hopeful that you will take the right steps to keep this state great, but I have to be honest, I'm quickly losing hope. It's not too late though, you can make things right, not just for me and my family, but for everyone in this great state. Remember, there are 1.3 million people in this state, not just the 216,761 that voted for you.

Kindest regards (but not really),

I'm Just Saying...

Best Beer Bar in the world?!

2011-03-28T11:01:00.000-04:00

According to Beer Advocate, a beer related publication that I consider to be top notch, Ebeneezer's Pub in Lovell, Maine is considered the absolute best beer bar in the world. Not just in Maine, New England or even the United States, they say it's the best in the world. Well, shit, we had to go check it out. My buddy Eric decided that was where he wanted to go to for his birthday, so it was decided, we would check out this world renowned locale. Saturday was the big day, and despite being on a pretty strict diet, we decided to break it for a chance to check out greatness. The following is the story of our adventure to Lovell, and I do mean adventure.

We met up with the Flynn's in Windham, where we planned on caravaning up to Lovell, which is about 40 minutes out of Windham, just a short distance from Fryeburg. Off we went, with thoughts of tasty beer and some fatty foods dancing in our heads (it had been a long week of fruits and veggies!). We followed the Flynns, who had accidentally put in the wrong address, so we were sent a little of track in Bridgton. No worries, we were able to figure out the error of our ways and got ourselves turned around before too long. However, the road we took may have been the most dangerous road in the history of earth. I'm pretty sure my knuckles are still bright white from gripping the steering wheel as hard as humanly possible, and our tires swore at me for a solid two hours when we got home. There were curves in the road that were more than ninety degrees, and I'm not kidding. That would normally be fine, but they sneak up you and the turns are completely covered in sand. There was a brief moment where I thought the pucker brush was about to be our best friends, or our permanent resting place. Once far enough away from the twisting and turning, we hit the road that led us into the big town of Lovell. I think I have been on logging roads in the middle of the North Maine Woods that were smoother. Picture yourself driving down a road that was haphazardly paved. A little pavement here, some rocks there, a three foot wide washout over there, and another random strip of pavement. There was absolutely no way to avoid the never ending trail of potholes.

Once we found the hidden gem, we were extremely happy! We survived the drive! The pub is located on Kezar Falls Golf Course, hidden down a side street in the country. From the outside, it was pretty unassuming, but had a cool screened in seating area when you enter the main entrance. You enter to a small area, with maybe 6 tables, overlooking the golf course. Behind a half way there is the bar, with 35 Belgian beers on tap, ranging from Allagash White, a local favorite, to a wide variety of hard to find beers from Europe. The menu was almost identical to that of The Lion's Pride, its sister restaurant in Brunswick (and #4 on the list of best beer bars in the world). The walls were adorned with lots of beeraphenalia from all over the world. Even with all of this, something was missing to me. It felt to much like a club house at a golf course. It had that sort of feel to it. Menu was good, both for beer and food, but I couldn't shake that feeling. It reminded me too much of the place I frequented in high school and college for grilled cheese and Alexander Keith's Red Ale after a round of 18 with the buddies. It was all I could think about.

We had a good lunch and a couple of good, strong beers and made our way over the border to North Conway, New Hampshire for a little shopping with the kiddo. Was it a good experience, sure, we had fun. Was it worth the insane drive, maybe. Is it the best beer bar in the world, I don't think so. I'm not even sure it is the best beer bar in Maine. I'd put The Lion's Pride, Novare Res and even the Great Lost Bear well ahead of it. To me, it goes beyond the beer and food, and the feel of the place just didn't match what I imagine being the best of anything. It was absolutely worth checking out, but in my opinion, if you want the same food and a better selection of beer, go to The Lion's Pride in Brunswick. I'm just saying...

I signed up again, and this time, I have to do it...

2011-03-24T17:28:00.000-04:00

Oh, Beach to Beacon, you have become my nemesis. Last year, despite what some people think, I hurt myself playing softball about two months before the race and was unable to compete in it. This year, the smack talk from the ladies has already started, and my best pal Eric is running, so I plan on not only running, but doing well. I've also found out that a certain Junior is running the race, which REALLY makes me want to do well now. In other words, I have no excuses. Right?

Well, I have not started training yet. In fact, I spent the better part of the winter eating my way to coach potato status. So, as last weekend came and went, the better half and I decided it was time to cut the shit, and the lbs, and start down the road of, dare I say it, good health. We have put ourselves on a strict diet of nothing but fruits, vegetables and high protein lean meats. Our idea is to lose some weight first, then start running and adding more proteins and carbs then, but in complete moderation. So far, I've actually seen the scale seem a little stressed out when I step on her in the morning. In turn, she has been nicer to me. It's amazing what happens when we eat better!

Now, for those of you that now me, I'm not a big fruit and veggie person. My idea of a light, healthy snack is chocolate covered bacon. Now, before you say anything, I would only have one piece, and the chocolate would have to be dark, obviously. See, it's not so bad. Except, I hear that it actually is bad. This new diet has me feeling really good so far, and we are only 3 days in. Do I spend half of the day convincing myself to eat that orange sitting on my desk, I sure do. Does it taste good when I actually eat it? You bet! For me, it is completely mind over matter. I'm a major sweet tooth person. This will be tough, especially knowing we have a half dozen boxes of brand new Girl Scout cookies in the cupboard, but I'm fully on board with this new plan. I'm quickly learning that as I get older, my metabolism is slowing down, and that doesn't bode well for my continued plan of seeing my toes.

Now, as a quick warning to everyone out there, if you find me with a short fuse, I can explain. I'm probably hungry. If this happens, just throw an apple or a handful of strawberries in my mouth and tell me to shut up. If that doesn't work, remind me that my old way of doing things causes a major case of Dicky-Do! I'm just saying...

I have a great idea, let's start another war!

2011-03-23T11:46:00.000-04:00

Ok, first of all, I think that is a terrible idea. It's not a bad idea, it is just horrible. I mean, we are simply not the world's police. It's not our job to determine how the rest of the world should act. Do I agree with how lunatic Gadhafi is treating his people? Absolutely not. Do I think the answer is to start dropping missiles on Libya, sure don't. We are bleeding (no pun intended) money in Iraq and Afghanistan right now, and I would love to see that end too. Spending money on wars that we have no business getting in the middle of is a fruitless endeavor, in my opinion. Look around you, we have enough problems here, be it financially or otherwise. Let's take care of our own first. I know, what a novel idea!

In local news, Maine is now officially "Open For Business", as the lovely sign was put up, right under the current "Welcome To Maine: The Way Life Should Be" sign. I'm excited, now everything is open 24 hours a day! Oh, what's that, that isn't what it means?! Damnit. Yes, now I remember, it was Governor LePage's way of saying that Maine was a more business friendly state. And to prove it, the Tea Party, who funded the new sign, purchased it from a company in Texas. Great way to start supporting Maine business!

In 2008, a mural depicting the history of labor in Maine was erected at the Department of Labor headquarters in Augusta. It measures about 36 feet long, and honors those that fought for workers rights in the state of Maine. In addition, there are several names of rooms in the Labor building that are named after pioneers in labor, including Cesar Chavez. Well, Governor LePage has demanded that the mural come down, because it is not in keeping with the department's pro-business goals and some business owners complained. Hogwash! It's another attempt by Lepage and his gang to slap unions and many of the hard working Mainers in the face. The mural is paid for. It is honoring the Maine labor movement, at the Department of Labor. It's not anti business, and even if it was, it's not in the lobby of the Department of Business, so the reasoning is crap. How much will it cost to remove and who is paying for it? I think wanting the mural removed is a distraction from focusing on improving the Maine economy and wanting it removed will now consume resources that could be better spent working on positive solutions rather than on distractions such as this.

While I'm on my rant about the many things that are being done that don't actually promote business in Maine, Governor LePage will be starring in his own reality tv show on Time Warner Cable, called "Inside the Blaine House". While this sounds completely riveting to me, I don't think it's his way of being open and transparent. Something tells me it will be his chance to grandstand and have preplanned questions asked of him by people he knows and trusts. Sounds more and more like this guy likes hearing his own voice, and now seeing his own face on tv can be added to that list.

Please, please, please, can we stop with the ridiculous bills and plans, and actually do things to help Mainer's out?! I'm not asking for much here. I would just like to see us all have a chance to work and improve our lives, you know, the whole "American Dream" thing everyone talks about. Intentionally pissing the other side of the political aisle off isn't getting us anywhere. Teachers aren't the problem. Murals aren't the problem. Let's get our collective shit together and move this great state forward, or we are all going down together. I'm just saying...

Hey Alice, this is one of those days I was always talking about...

2011-03-16T10:36:00.001-04:00

Ever have "one of those days"? You know, a day where staying in bed should have been your only option. Well, today is the second such day for me. I knew better, and still got up and came to work. Awesome! If all goes well, my ass will be tucked in nice and early this evening, and my daughter will by reading me a bedtime story instead of the other way around. Anyways, have any of you heard about this...

Remember how the government reformed how the banks operated in an effort to protect us more? They were supposed to do away with overdraft charges and things of that nature. Well, the rat bastards in the banking industry have found new ways to make up for those charges, and it is hitting harder than before. Before, in a typical month, we might incur one or two overdraft charges over the course of a month (I'm talking about at the office, over 40 or so bank accounts, with money constantly coming in and out), for a total of about $70 a month. Now, those crooks are hitting us for everything under the sun. You did a deposit with one of our tellers, we are going to charge you $2.00 per deposit. Oh, you did an ATM deposit, we are going to charge you $1.75 for that. What's that, you did a night drop deposit. Well that's going to cost you $1.25. They are now taking money out of your account when you put money into your account?! How is that even legal? I'm not complaining about the elimination of overdraft fees, that was one of the most backwards approaches ever. Charging a person $35 for not having the money in their account isn't going to solve anything, they don't have the money! How about just not letting it go through. But now, what they are doing now is highway robbery. We are paying in excess of $1000 a month in "analysis fees". I guess you have to pay those big salaries and bonuses somehow, right?

The Maine Legislature is tossing around the idea of getting rid of bottle deposits in Maine. You know, getting rid of a program that encourages us to all recycle our empty bottles and cans. A program that keeps bottles and cans from completely littering the sides of the road, and employees about 1200 people at nearly 800 redemption centers around the state. Another great move in the continuing effort to get more Mainers working, right? No, not at all. Not even close. In fact, this doesn't really make any sense to me.

Speaking of things that don't make sense, the state legislature is working on a bill that would loosen the seat belt law. The proposal would alter the law so that you would not get pulled over for simply not wearing a seat belt, you would have to get pulled over for something else first. What happened to click it or ticket? Why not encourage everyone to be safer by threatening a $50 fine for not wearing a seat belt? I know, I know, government intrusion is a terrible thing. Big brother doesn't need to be all up in my business. I've heard that way more than I ever thought possible. However, I counter that with, when it is for the greater good, like protecting our citizens, why is it such a bad idea?

Oh, and about the citizens of Maine, turns out they are really not being put first, ahead of politics. Governor LePage has stated that "If that budget is altered it is not my budget, it is the Legislature's budget. If they alter the pension, if they alter the tax breaks, if they alter the welfare reforms, those are the show stoppers." Quick note to Governor LePage, this isn't your budget, it is the State of Maine's budget. You were elected by 38% of the state, but you are ultimately responsible for the well being of 100% of us. If we are going to share in the sacrifice, then let's all share in the sacrifice, not just the poor and middle class. I'm hopeful that house Republicans will stand up against Governor LePage, alongside Democrats and do what is right for the people of Maine, not corporations and out of state interests.

I'm going to play "Regulate" on iTunes on repeat, in honor of the late Nate Dogg, and slug through the rest of the day. He changed the music world for me. Regulate is still one of my top three favorite songs of all time. Rest in peace Nate Dogg. I'm just saying...

I need to ketchup! Sorry, I must be hungry, I mean catch up!

2011-03-11T14:24:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I last checked in, and a crap load of newsworthy things have happened. I won't get into all the gossipy bullshit, though there is plenty of it. No, I'm talking about the big stuff. The meat and potatoes of the news world. Here is my take on a few of the things going on in the world today...

The earthquake in Japan. Wow. One of the largest quakes in recorded history. At the moment they are saying over 300 are dead and as many as 500 are missing. Not only was the earthquake devastating, the ensuing tsunami that brought waves up to 23 feet high has been absolutely destroying many parts of Japan. We have even felt the effects as far away as the entire West Coast of the United States. I am praying for all of the people that are affected by this awful tragedy.

Governor Walker of Wisconsin passes a bill that strips public workers of nearly all collective bargaining rights. In a move he has been dying to make, Walker has taken away the voice of many state workers, including teachers and public safety workers. This was all done under the guise of balancing the budget, but let's be honest about something. Union busting has nothing to do with balancing the budget. If this was a financial issue, a dire move to help save the Wisconsin economy, he wouldn't have given tax breaks to large corporations at the same time, which he did. This move, and we will see it happen across the country by other Republican governors, is a political move. See, by busting up unions, Republicans are making an attempt to get rid of a group that typically backs Democrats, both with money and with votes. This has nothing to do with balancing the budget. It's another shot at the middle class, and is an attempt to take a shot at Democratic supporters. Things are just getting started in Wisconsin, and the rest of the country will follow suit, just wait and see.

Charlie Sheen is crazy. Not exactly a shocking development. The level of crazy he has reached, however, is a little shocking. He went from a bit odd straight to off his damn rocker crazy. I'm sure high amounts of coke will do that to a person. Fortunately, he has provided us all with tons of entertainment, and at the end of the day, he is WINNING!

During his campaign, Paul LePage, Governor of Maine, promised to run the "most open and transparent" administration in the history of Maine. Well, turns out, that was just a line to help people rally behind him. Governor LePage plans to form more advisory groups that will be exempt from Maine's freedom of information law, in addition to the business council he created by executive order last week. That doesn't seem very open and transparent to me. If we are talking about an Executive Session, that is different, but that is usually to talk about personnel issues, not statewide issues. If people are meeting, and discussing information that can form and mold legislation, the citizens of Maine should have every right to either watch the meetings or read the transcripts. Otherwise, I fear we are going down the path of back door deals and cronyism. I don't care what past Governor's have done, or what Federal politicians are doing. Governor LePage promised to be open and transparent, I want him to stick to his word. If we are less than 3 months into his term, and he is already going against his word, we are in worse trouble than I thought.

Just a couple of things going on in the news today that I had some commentary on. Much more to follow in the coming days. Stay tuned as I give you my thoughts on the unfolding Lindsey Lohan scandal, Christina Aguilera's arrest for public intoxication, Newt Gingrich's past indiscretions and more WINNING from Charlie Sheen! I'm just saying...

I ask you John Boehner, where are the jobs?

2011-02-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

It wasn't that long ago that Speaker of the House, John Boehner, was asking the question, "where are the jobs"? Now, just a couple of months after taking control of the House of Representatives, Mr. Boehner and his Republican colleagues have constructed a budget, based on promises they had made during campaign season, that would cut the budget by $100 billion. With this budget, they say that all programs are "on the table". According to Boehner, if that means the loss of government jobs, then "so be it". So, if I am to understand this correctly, the Republicans aren't doing anything to create jobs, which is all they talked about when on the campaign trail. Instead, they are actually looking to cut jobs, and they are just fine with that.

Ok, so I ask you this, what happened? The Republicans railed on Obama and the Democrats for not creating more jobs in the two years from 2008 to 2010. All they talked about was how with them in power of the House, they would get Americans back to work. What have they done so far? Well, let's see. They refused to do anything until the Bush Era Tax Cuts were continued (costing us more money, not helping the middle class, and making the rich richer), have worked to repeal the Affordable Health Care Act (with no new plan in place, they just want to get rid of it), argued about the definition of rape (this is just sick) and spent time at CPAC doing their collective best to be stand up comedians (not sure which they are worse at, being funny, or politicians). I don't see where they are doing anything to create jobs and stimulate our economy, do you?

Now, before you starting lecturing me on how "our spending is out of control", and that our government is "bloated and full of unnecessary bureaucrats", I don't disagree with you. BUT, I think we need to look at the big picture here. Do we have wasted spending in Washington? Absolutely. Are we doing things that aren't cost effective? Damn right. Do we have our priorities in order? Hell no! Sure, some of the proposed cuts will be a good confidence boost for some business owners, and that can mean more jobs at some point, but only after many more teachers, firefighters, police officers and other state and federal jobs are lost. However, will cuts to social programs have a negative impact on people like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, or even Michael Jordan for that matter? No, not even a little. Will it put a hurting on your neighbor, your grandmother, or your brother? Yes, it will. Middle and lower class Americans are drowning right now, and all the Republicans are worried about is keeping money in the pockets of the top 2% of all wage earners. What about the defense budget? Is that going to drop? Nope. We can't touch that. It's really important we are fighting two unfunded wars, so that doesn't count. Come on, everything needs to be on the table here people!

Look, I'm not a politician, but I know we have major financial issues in this country, and we have to be able to sit down at a table, look each other in the eye, and have an honest debate about what to do to fix things. In my personal life, whenever I have had money troubles, I look at where I can cut, but also how I can bring more money in. Perhaps I need to pick up a second job (or 5th in my case). Sure, it's not easy to decide which things to cut, and by how much, but I have to take everything into consideration. Hopefully our elected officials can figure this out in a civil and speedy fashion. Who am I kidding, that is just wishful thinking. I'm just saying...

Your daily reminder that you have it better than others...

2011-01-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

If I'm ever feeling down in the dumps, I like to go to Wal-Mart. No, not because I can "Save Money, Live Better", but because you are guaranteed to see at least half a dozen (conservative number, it's more like two dozen) people that will make you feel so much better about yourself. Don't believe me? Try it. Some Friday night or Saturday morning, when you have nothing else to do, take a ride to your local Wal-Mart. Walk around the store for 20 minutes, and you will leave feeling better about yourself than you have in a long time. If, for some reason, that doesn't help, check this site out...

Now, if that doesn't work, another thing I try is reading the local news. Well, the following story would certainly help me feel a little better. A Portland man was arrested over the weekend for allegedly attacking his roommate (and drinking buddy) with a hammer. The older roommate, 60, decided to beat his younger roommate with a hammer because they got into a fight over "who was crazier". I'm not making this up! I wonder if they ever determined who the winner was before one went for a ride in the cop car and the other in an ambulance? I don't know about you, but the suspense is killing me!

If neither of the above mentioned methods work, I go for a walk. Chances are pretty good, especially in a more populated area, that someone will do something that helps you put things in perspective a little bit. For example, there is the guy in this picture. This is an actual picture, submitted by faithful reader Dawn in Alexandria, VA, taken in the middle of the afternoon. Dude is passed out drunk, and it is way too early in the day to be in this bad of shape. Don't get me wrong, I've been drunk in public before. Heck, I've been drunk in the same neighboorhood this guy is in. Fortunately for me, I have never provided anyone with a great picture like this. Thanks, big guy, I feel better already!

As you can see, there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself. There are always ways to make yourself feel much better. As the saying goes, it could always be worse. Unless, of course, you find yourself wearing a mesh shirt and thong to Wal-Mart, beat your roommate with a hammer, or make an ass of yourself in public. If that's the case, I've got nothing for you. I'm just saying...

What do you think of when I say the word "chain"?

2011-01-21T16:27:00.001-05:00

Chain. Not the type of fence. Not that letter you used to get when you were a kid. Not that thing you use to tie someone to the bed so that you can, oh, wait, sorry about that. I'm talking about chain restaurants. You know what I mean. McDonald's is a chain. Subway is a chain. Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks are chains. Many of these chains can be found in Portland's historic Old Port District. We frequent them often to get our caffeine fix or for a quick sandwich at lunch time. Well, it sounds like we are adding a new chain to the mix, and one that will do quite well, I think. Five Guys Burgers and Fries will be taking over the location that has seen such hot spots as Diggers and, more recently, Prost. What is Five Guys you ask? Well, it's a burger and fry joint that will put a hurting to Bill's Pizza as the crowd from the Old Port looks for some food to soak up all that booze. Cool, right? I mean, heck yeah. It's about 30 feet from where I park my car every day for work, so I'm sure I'll check it out from time to time. However, I also have a slight problem with this. Let me explain...

Do you remember, about 4 years ago, when Hooters wanted to move to Portland, and move into the location that is now Binga's Stadium? Everyone knows about Hooters, right? It's the restaurant made famous for its chicken wings and female servers in tightly clad shorts and t-shirts. If I'm not mistaken, Maine is only 1 of 4 states in the entire country that doesn't have a Hooters. Well, the fine city of Portland decided to keep it that way, by voting 6–3 to impose a moratorium on formula restaurants in that part of the city for a couple of months. The moratorium only applies to chains that have at least 30 restaurants in the United States. In other words, the mere idea of a Hooters scared the city so bad they made up a horse shit excuse to keep it out. Let's ignore the fact that there are 2 Starbucks, 3 Dunkin Donuts, a Subway, and I'm sure other chains in this same area. Now, just a few years later, it's totally cool to bring in a new chain.

Can someone explain to me the rationale here? I know that it is because the city was scared about the idea of a Hooters. I'm curious if any of the 9 members of the City Council that voted have ever been to one before. It's not like you are walking into a strip club and hookers are carrying buckets of wings around in their cleavage. It's not even close to that. I've been to many places that allow their wait staff to wear whatever they want, and it's been much more revealing than the Hooter's uniform. I'm not advocating for a Hooters, that's not at all my point. I'm just annoyed by the fact that we have a down town that is full of chains, and is welcoming new ones still, but denied bringing a business that would have brought with it 50 or more jobs, all because they didn't want chains in the Old Port. It's cool, we don't need the jobs, don't worry. I'm just saying...

Another day, another handful of questions...

2011-01-20T16:13:00.000-05:00

Sort of following up from yesterday, I am sitting here, with many more questions than answers still. According to responders, anti-gun people need to agree that responsible people should be allowed to own guns (which is already the case) and that high capacity ammunition guns are not necessary, but banning them would just piss people off, so we need to hope things just get better on there own. It turns out that people agree that Sarah Palin is in need of spending some time at home, far, far away from the cameras, Twitter and Facebook. As for Paul LePage, people think we just need to ignore him and hope that he doesn't completely destroy the state of Maine. I have to be honest, I'm not real excited by any of these responses. Anyway, I have some new questions today. Here we go...

The House of Representatives just passed the repeal of the new health care bill. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this doesn't stand a chance of passing the Senate, and there isn't a snowballs chance in hell that President Obama will sign off on a repeal, so why are they wasting their time with this? Wouldn't it behoove them, especially since a growing number of the American people don't want to repeal it, to spend time trying to create jobs, which is the number one priority of the American people? Shouldn't our politicians, those that our supposed to be representing us, stop wasting time going down a dead end road and do something more constructive? How about taking pieces of the Affordable Health Care Act and making them better? Repealing it does no good if you have no backup plan in place. Do Republicans really want to deny people with pre-existing conditions? Do they really want to deny coverage on family plans to children up to the age of 26? And why do they not believe the figures the CBO is tossing out on this issue, but they do on other issues?

Do women find it sexy when men bathe in cologne? I understand wanting to smell good, it makes sense. However, smelling like a whore house isn't attractive, is it? We've all had a co-worker that didn't know when to stop applying the "sure shag", so what are your thoughts? Is there such a thing as too much cologne, or perfume for that matter?

Maine has officially joined a multi-state lawsuit challenging the federal health reform act. Maine Attorney General William Schneider says U.S. District Court Judge Roger Vinson approved Maine's request to join the suit, led by the state of Florida. Correct me if I am wrong, and believe me, I hope I am, but, wouldn't it be wise to stay out of this? Governor LePage claims to be fiscally responsible, someone that will cut costs to help Maine get out of the red. So, with Maine joining this lawsuit, won't we spend a fair chunk of change? Will us joining the suit increase the chances of winning this lawsuit? Wouldn't Maine be further ahead to stay out of it, and hope the result works out the way LePage and his team want it to, thus costing Maine nothing? I don't want any part of this for a couple of reasons. I don't want to challenge the health care reform act, and I don't want to spend money for no reason, when our inclusion in this lawsuit won't guarantee anything. Someone let me know if I missed something, please...

I'm sure tomorrow will bring more questions along with it. Thanks to everyone who plays along. Oh, and don't forget, call me Mr. Vice President. I'm just saying...

A running list of questions I have today...

2011-01-19T16:07:00.000-05:00

I've been quiet for a while. Now, there are a few reasons for this. Weather and work have kept me very busy. Also, I've been trying to digest some of the recent news, both locally and nationally, before I gave my position on things. Well, I'm ready to react, but, to be honest, I have more questions than anything else. Here we go...

I'm not a gun person, but I understand that the right to bear arms is a constituted right. Without giving me talking points, which I can get on Fox News, what is the need for all of these massive guns with giant magazines holding many rounds of ammunition? Is it necessary for me to be able to purchase an Uzi, which can shoot off 600 rounds per minute? What sort of crazy animal are people trying to hunt? I feel like there is really no reasonable need to have these, or others like them, available in the marketplace. Can somebody please explain this to me? While we are on the subject of guns, why do you need to carry them in public? I know you have the right, but why do you NEED to do it? I have the right to troll the high school parking lot for 18 year old girls to bring home with me, but it doesn't mean I'm going to!

Why do Governor LePage supporters not only give him a free pass with each lie, but also applaud his inability to think before he talks? Have we lowered our standards so much that any way we get Maine into the national spotlight is a good thing? His latest comment, "kiss my butt", which was made in reference to the NAACP, just a day before Martin Luther King Day, made national headlines. I'm sorry, but that is not cool. Please make headlines for doing positive things for Mainers, not for being a foul mouthed knucklehead. Please Mr. LePage, try being honest and thoughtful, even if it is just for the next four years.

Why does Sarah Palin always think she is the victim? Nobody is blaming her for the shooting in Arizona. Yes, it has been brought up that using crosshairs on a map that targeted Giffords' district was in bad taste, but it wasn't the reason the congresswoman, and others, were shot. Instead of putting forward an 8 minute video that tried to make us feel bad for Palin, why couldn't she have admitted that, while others have done similar things in the past, she realizes the crosshairs map was in bad taste and she wishes Giffords a speedy recovery? Why couldn't she use her platform to ask others to speak and act more civily when discussing points of disagreement? Oh, and can we stop calling her Governor Palin!? She quit that post. I was my high school class Vice President, so if we are going to call her Governor Palin, I expect you all to call me Mr. Vice President from now on, thanks.

Again, if someone can give me some answers on this, I would be very grateful. I've talked to a few people, but I just get talking points. I have lots of other questions, but I'll keep it at that today. I look forward to some reasonable thoughts and ideas. Let me have it people! I'm just saying...

Positive thoughts = good outcomes

2011-01-12T20:08:00.001-05:00

As many of you faithful readers know, my father was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. We got the word the Tuesday before Christmas, and I really struggled with how to deal with it. I don't know much about cancer, but I know that any time you can associate that word with someone, it's not something I want to mess with. I also know that seeing my father in anything but a position of power is hard for me to deal with. I remember back when I was younger, and my father had his gallbladder removed. I cried so hard seeing him slowly walk around the hospital in his johnny. My dad is, and always will be, a big, strong man. Seeing him in pain is really hard for me to handle.

Well, yesterday was the day he was going in to have his prostate removed. I was anxious, and nervous for this day. We would know more once the surgeon opened dad up and looked around. Up to this point, we knew very little. We knew that they found cancerous cells on his prostate, but we didn't know if his lymph nodes were affected, or if the cancer had spread. We got to spend some time with dad before they knocked him out and wheeled him off, and then spent the rest of the day in the waiting room. Four hours felt more like twenty four hours, but, finally, the surgeon came into the waiting room. His face had me bracing for the worst possible news, but his words were the very opposite. I was originally filled with mixed emotions, until I was able to process what he actually said to us. Everything came back fine, his prostate was removed, his lymph nodes were fine, and he was in good shape! We collectively jumped out of our seats with humongous smiles on our faces. What a relief!

I know that many of you have gone through similar situations with family members, but I have one, very important thing to say to you all. We have the greatest family and friends in the world! We didn't say a whole lot publicly, having very little time between finding out and the surgery itself, but you all had us overwhelmed by your kind words and prayers. I got messages from all sorts of people, from parent's of high school friends, to co-workers from former employers. I am eternally grateful for how amazing all of you are. I truly believe that between the strength of my amazing father, and the wonderful words and positive vibes you sent his way, he was able to kick cancer's ass! Thank you all for being the greatest friends and family a guy could ever ask for! I'm just saying...

Newsworthy or not, you decide...

2011-01-07T15:54:00.000-05:00

One could argue that the media makes something out of nothing on a regular basis. I mean, they want viewership, they need to have something interesting to put out there. Granted, they report on actual news from time to time, but it's usually garbage that they sell to us as stories. Well, in scouring the web, I've come across some stories, some may be newsworthy, others are not, but they caught my attention for one reason or another. Here you go...

U.S. Olympian Johnny Weir discloses his sexual orientation in his new book, and guess what, he's gay! Who would have thought that this over the top, completely flamboyant, male figure skater would turn out to be gay. I, for one, am completely shocked! Seriously though, he came out, officially, in hopes that his story would inspire others. I am hopeful that this news will inspire Ryan Seacrest to finally come out of the closet as well...

Hundreds of birds fell to the ground, dead, in Arkansas. 150 tons of red tilapia are found in Vietnam. 40,000 crabs washed up, dead, on shore in the UK. Two million fish found dead on Maryland coast. Holy crap, the Mayans were wrong, the world is ending in 2011, not 2012! Everybody prepare yourself! Oh, wait, what's that, this sort of thing is actually normal, it just goes undetected. Oh, and fFederal records show they happen on average every other day somewhere in North America. Usually, we don't notice them and don't try to link them to each other. Damnit, I guess I'll have to calm down, for now anyways...

Deena, the newest member of the Jersey Shore house gets in a fight, almost as soon as she walks in the door. Let me be the first to say, I don't watch this garbage, and I really dont' give a rat's ass. If you do, I'm sorry. No, actually, I'm not. I enjoy my fair share of mindless television, but this show may actually contribute to the lowering of your intelligence and cause you to act like a douche. Of course, that is not proven, but I'm confident that it will one day be true. I'm hoping to one day be elected to Congress so I can introduce a bill that will fund the study. Hey, we all have to have a dream to make a dream come true.

House Speaker, John Boehner, on smoking: "I am who I am". That's right Johnny circus peanut, you tell 'em! Look, just because he thinks that President Obama should quit smoking, doesn't mean he should have to. Do I need to remind you again that Republicans are exempt from all the things they criticize Democrats for? Come on people, you should know better by now. Plus, I think we need to leave John boy alone, he may end up crying again, and his poor tear ducts can't handle that much activity!

Like I said earlier, some things are newsworthy, others are deemed newsworthy by the media, and we are forced into hearing about it 24/7. Here's hoping you all sit at home all weekend and soak all this amazing "news" in! I'm just saying...

Wait, when did Maine stop being the way life should be?!

2011-01-06T16:37:00.000-05:00

We've all seen it, it's really hard to miss. It is one of the first things we see as we climb up Interstate 95, just a short distance after we hit solid ground, this side of the big bridge from the Granite State. It is a giant blue sign that reads "MAINE The Way Life Should Be". Well, it's a new day, and with that comes a new sign. That's right, with the inauguration of Republican Governor, Paul LePage, yesterday, a new sign will now take the place of the once familiar, and welcoming site. "Open For Business" reads the new sign. It's meant to represent the new, business friendly environment that Governor LePage is hoping to get across during his tenure in office in Augusta. However, I'm not sure I like the idea of replacing the former sign.

First of all, I'm all for business. I want nothing more than to see new businesses come to this state and to see all businesses thrive here. Maine needs to be more business friendly in order to keep our children here. With so few options, many people are leaving the state, and it's really hard to blame them. The cost of running a business today is astronomical, with the high price of energy and health insurance, it's damn near impossible to open and maintain a small business. I work with a handful of small businesses, and the story is the same for all of them. While I didn't vote for LePage, and to be honest, I'm worried that he may have a negative affect on Maine, I'm hopeful that he stays true to his promise to lower many costs and do everything he can to give businesses in Maine, both new and old, a fighting chance to not only stay open, but thrive. That said, I'm totally against him putting this new sign up in Kittery.

Sure, from a business standpoint, Maine is not the way life should be, it's quite the opposite. However, with tourism such a vital part of the Maine economy, I just find it in bad taste to remove such a welcoming and familiar sign to those driving in from New Hampshire. From a tourism point of view, Maine is absolutely the way life should be. Whether you snowmobile, hike, ski, camp, fish, shop or just want to get away from it all, there is no better place in the world to go. I have lived in Maine for the better part of my 31 years on this earth, and there is no place I would rather be. Let's hope Governor LePage doesn't do anything to change that. I'm just saying...

Local news = local idiots...

2011-01-05T17:44:00.000-05:00

One thing I love about reading the local news is that I realize I am a whole lot smarter than a lot of people out there. I mean, don't get me wrong, I always knew that, but it's good to get some random reminders here and there. Now, this isn't to say I haven't done my share of dumb things. I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time before, and there was that one time I got to ride in a police car growing up, but overall, I've kept my nose pretty clean. The following people, however, I can't say the same for...

* Police say they caught the man who robbed a Rite Aid in Naples nearly eight months ago. Back in May, a male entered the Rite Aid on Roosevelt Trail in Naples and handed the pharmacist a note, demanding drugs and claimed to be armed. Well, nearly seven months to the day later, the Wells Police Department caught the suspect, 21-year-old Jessie Arthur Lavalle, hiding under a bed on Wednesday. I wonder how long this fool was hiding under his bed?!

* Authorities say they arrested a Canton man Tuesday after two of his pit bulls allegedly attacked a pet llama in Monmouth. The Monmouth animal control officer says 33-year-old Corey Lamontagne is facing two counts of owning a dangerous dog, two counts of having unlicensed dogs and two counts of having dogs at large. The animal control officer says Lamontagne was visiting friends last week near the farm where the llama is kept when he let the dogs out of his car and they took off and attacked the llama. Police say he took off with the dogs without checking on the llama or its owner. Lamontagne has since made bail and is out of the Androscoggin County Jail Lamontagne has been allowed to keep his dogs, but under conditions that the dogs remain on his property, restrained and muzzled. I know, I know, pit bulls are really a nice dog. It was the llama's fault, right pit bull owners? Look, if you own a dog that has a tendency to attack living things, maybe you should just toss a leash on them, or is that too much to ask?

* Woman says she was kidnapped and forced into prostitution. Two women and a man are being held on $100,000 bail in York County Jail. Police say they are exploring charges of aggravated promotion of prostitution. Saco police were called to the Sunrise Motel at 4 a.m. Monday after receiving a call about a man and a woman fighting in an adjoining room. Police found eight to 10 people in the room and called for backup from Old Orchard Beach police. Police obtained a search warrant for the room and a 2001 BMW sport utility vehicle, seizing records, cellular telephones, computers and cash. Police impounded the car. I love the entrepreneurial spirit these morons had, but, perhaps you should look at a new line of work. Last time I checked, prostitution was illegal in Maine.

The great thing here is, this was all just news from this week, and it's only Wednesday! Once again, I want to personally thank all these fools for making me feel much better about myself. Here's hoping that the rest of the week makes us all feel better! I'm just saying...

New year, new resolutions to break, right?

2011-01-04T15:04:00.000-05:00

Here we are, starting another year. There is nothing like it. The feeling of a fresh start, a chance to get things right. We always set goals for ourselves and plan to do this or that, and then we look back, a year later, and beat ourselves up for our lack of discipline or our inability to follow through with the previous years resolution. This year is different we always say, I'm gonna stick with it, I swear. But we never do. And here we are, starting the whole, silly, process all over again. So what is it this year, going to the gym more? Eating better? Making more money?

Let's be honest, those aren't resolutions, they are goals we all have. Resolutions should be farther reaching, more life changing desires, in my opinion. For example, this year, I want to orchestrate at least one large fund raiser. Why a large fundraiser you ask. It's simple, I want to help make a difference in someone elses life, other than my own. Sure, I could donate some old gloves or a jacket to a local charity, but I want to do more than that.

Now, I'm going to tell you a story, and I'm not even sure how to approach this. See, I just recently found out that my father has prostate cancer. I got the news on the Tuesday before Christmas. I had known he had gone in for some tests and that he had an appointment to find out his results. I knew they wouldn't invite him in for a champagne toast for coming back clean, so I was bracing for his phone call that evening. I listened to his voicemail as I was leaving Kerrigan's basketball practice, and called him back as soon as we got home. It was as I had suspected, he needed surgery to try to kick it, and he wanted to get it done quickly, put the whole thing behind him. I couldn't agree with him more. Get in, get it dealt with, and get back on with life. Am I a bit freaked out by the whole thing, absolutely. Have I wiped a tear or two from my face at the most random of times since finding out, you bet. But, what I am hanging my hat on is that my dad is the strongest person I know, and he will be back on his feet in no time at all.

Anyways, the reason I tell you this is because this has inspired me to try to do more for the people around me. Nobody is immune to cancer, it can and will happen to many of us. If I can put together a charity event that helps to both raise money and awareness, then I'm doing my part to help. I hope that many of you out there can help me raise money when the time comes, or are able to do your part to make the world a better place, because that is what our New Year's Resolutions should be all about. I'm just saying...

Holiday hogwash...

2010-12-22T12:04:00.003-05:00

Here we sit, just a few days away from the fat man delivering us presents. Christmas snuck up pretty quick this year, I'm not going to lie. Fortunately, Marcole was prepared, and we won't be racing around Thursday and Friday finishing up everything. Now, perhaps I just dropped my cards in the mail about 10 minutes ago, but hey, we did them! It's always been a little difficult for me to fully get into the spirit when there is no snow on the ground, it just doesn't seem like it is possible to be late December already. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking for snow, I just find it harder to be mentally prepared for Christmas. However, since we are so close, I've found myself spending some time recently trying to figure out how in the hell we all believed the crazy story of Santa Claus. Let's break it all down...

A fat man in a red suit lives in the North Pole, has tiny elves that make all the toys for the kids, and when Christmas comes, he puts everything in his sleigh and flies all over the world to climb down each families chimney and deliver presents with the help of reindeer. I don't think there is a single part of that story that makes sense. Why, even though we were just kids, did we not ask more questions?!

There are, what, 6 or 7 billion children worldwide? How many elves work up in the North Pole? And why are they short? Do short people work harder or faster, or is it that Santa wants to ensure that he is the biggest guy, so people don't forget he is in charge? And where do all these pointy eared shorties get all their toy making smarts? I mean, as a kid I remember getting a television one year. Nowadays kids are getting cell phones, iPods, Wii's and many other advanced electronics. Where did the elves learn to make all those crazy things?

Lets say that there are 6 or 7 billion children in the world. How in the hell would all those presents fit in one stinking sleigh, and how in the world would it fly?! I was a gullible little bastard! Speaking of the sleigh, how did the concept of reindeer flying come about? Really?! Flying reindeer? Why not birds, or even unicorns?! At least they fly. Reindeer, not so much. And Rudolph with a glowing nose, was he sniffing around a nuclear waste spot? How did he get a red, glowing nose? And how fast did they go in order to make it all over the world in one night? I guess my limited knowledge of time zones was how I justified it in my head?!

When delivering presents, Santa, who is fat, slides down the chimney to enter the house. First of all, a fat man is not fitting down a chimney. A skinny man isn't fitting down most chimneys. And what about people that live in apartment buildings that don't have a fire place with a chimney for Santa to climb down? You leave the door unlocked in the projects and you won't have presents delivered, you'll have all your shit removed!

Milk and cookies. Were did that start? Why not chips and dip and a beer? If I were Santa, I would want people to leave me grilled cheese sandwiches and PBR. I might be drunk by the end of the night, but it would make for an interesting night! And how the heck could one person possibly eat something from every home he visits? I guess that explains why he is fat. He must also be diabetic too!

It's funny, looking back, I wonder why I didn't question things a little more. I think it was because I was duped for so long, I just wanted to believe it was all real. That was always one of the joys of Christmas, believing that Santa was coming to deliver presents to my sister and I. I'm hoping my daughter never stops believing, it is what makes Christmas so much fun to me. Which reminds me, time to drop her letter to Santa, that she just gave me this morning, in the mail! I'm just saying...

Holy crap, snow!

2010-12-21T11:08:00.002-05:00

Alright, wow. I mean, seriously, wow. One hour and ten minutes to drive from the parking garage at the Portland Harbor Hotel to Howie's Pub on Veranda Street, just off Washington Ave. I'm pretty sure I could have walked it quicker, but no, I was driving. Now, I have lived in Maine all of my "driving years", and no matter how much or how little it is snowing, the concept is still the same. Slow it down a bit, give a little extra room between yourself and the car in front of you, and don't drive like a jackass. Well, tomorrow may just go down in history as the largest shit show on snow that there ever was.

It started to snow late in the afternoon yesterday, and despite the weather people actually predicting it, a large number of people were completely unprepared and collectively shit in their pants. I left the office at 5:40 to pick up my beautiful wife in Monument Square and then head over to Howie's Pub for 2-1 pizza and cheap ass Rolling Rocks. I had no idea what I was getting myself into until I rounded the corner on the back side of $3 Dewey's and saw traffic at a stand still in every direction. Something must have happened, there was maybe 3 inches of snow, it's not like that many Mainers can't drive in a little snow. Shit, in The County, that is a dusting, and might even happen in July. This is nothing.

Well, apparently in the time that passed since our last snowfall, last spring, everyone completely forgot how to drive in the fluffy white stuff. It took me nearly 5 minutes to pull out of the parking garage, and of course I'm directly behind the dumb ass in a tiny car with 4 bald tires. Quick note to those of you who don't have a vehicle that is good in the snow, don't slam on the gas, that doesn't help you. This foolish broad was just dropping the hammer on the gas pedal and all she was doing was making the roads more slick, and further hampering her attempt to move forward. Finally, after about another 10 minutes, we make it up past the light on Fore Street, and I'm all the way up next to Walters. Sitting. Waiting. Swearing. Unfortunately I'm still stuck behind the brainiac with bald tires, and we have a steeper incline, awesome!

At this point, people are all over the road, so there is really no way for me, in my SUV, to sneak past them while they search their memory bank for a way to get their car moving. Before I go any further, I'm going to make a quick plug for my buddy Nick and his business Tire 2 You. Check him out, he is great! Anyway, I finally have enough room to sneak past this stupid car and people push her up the hill and she stays in front of me, damnit! Now I'm up by the Nickelodeon Theater, and it's been probably 25 minutes.

Anyways, I could continue to tell you about the entire drive, but I think you get the picture at this point. Several things I learned and feel the need to share with the fine drivers or Greater Portland and beyond. If you don't have snow tires and need them, get them (Call NICK!). If you have snow tires and you are still having a difficult time, get a new car. If the light is red, don't try to make it through and get stuck in the middle of the intersection, that makes a freaking mess and screws everyone over. Oh, and remember, we live in Maine, you've been through this before. There is absolutely no reason for 3 inches of snow, that the meteorologists told us we were going to get, should cause any sort of traffic issues. Here's hoping the next storm brings less congestion and confusion, oh, and less rage! I'm just saying...

Just to clear things up...

2010-12-20T09:50:00.002-05:00

Last night was the first annual "**** ******'* Family Reunion", which was a gathering of past and present employees, as well as regulars. Another former employee and I were chatting a month or so ago, and thought it would be fun to get everyone together and catch up. Many of us have remained very close, hanging out on weekends, continuing to work together at other establishments and getting together for random parties and other events. As we have all continued to grow, whether it is in a career, relationship, school or family, we have continued to remain in touch, but getting everyone together has been difficult. This was simply a wonderful opportunity to bring our "family" together and enjoy each others company for a few hours.

Well, what was intended to be a friendly gathering quickly turned into something it wasn't, all based on a phrase that was, quite honestly, a joke. See, there is a reason many of us are former employees of this establishment. While we loved working together, enjoyed what we were doing, and had some of the best customers in town, there was something always bringing us down. I'm not here to bad mouth anybody, and I'm certainly not holding ill will or a grudge. To be honest, that is the furthest thing from my mind as I was setting this gathering up. True, I wasn't a fan of the boss, I'm not going to lie. It is my opinion that an owner hires the right people, they make his/her business successful, and he/she rewards them. It doesn't have to be monetarily, it can simply be a pat on the back or an encouraging word or high five from time to time. What I have never understood is why an owner continuously looks for faults in people and never gives credit where credit is due. This was the norm here, and it wore on people.

Anyways, back to last night. I set up an invite on Facebook several weeks ago, sending it to a couple dozen past and present employees, and they mentioned it to others that were not originally included. We were all meeting up at Bayside Bowl for some bowling, beers and to enjoy each others company for a few hours. Well, in the process some messages were sent around and the now infamous term was coined, as a joke. Like I have previously mentioned, this great group of people share a common bond, many of us met each other either at this establishment, or directly because of it. I'm talking life long friendships, too. There was another common bond for many of us as well, but certainly not all. There was a general dislike for our former employer, and that is why many of us are no longer there. No big deal, right?

Well, it turns out someone didn't like where we went with all this joking, and took it upon themselves to turn it into a bigger deal than it ever should have been. I should be talking about all the fun we had last night. However, here I am, letting people know that some peoples panties need to be slowly removed from their rear ends, as they have clearly bunched up a bit! Those of us that did take part in the joke, which was just a couple of former employees, have every right to make the joke, and if that means you use what power you have and put my picture up on your wall in an effort to keep me out of your establishment, then so be it. The intent was never to ruffle any feathers, and none of us were looking to get ourselves kicked out. It was simply a joke amongst friends, nothing more.

Like I said earlier, I don't hold a grudge, and I certainly don't look for opportunities to bad mouth people. None of us were looking to cause a stir or get anyone in any sort of trouble. Was the joke in bad taste? Perhaps, but remember, if you are an ass, don't be surprised if people don't like you. I'm just saying...

Cindy Lou Who, brave or crazy?

2010-12-15T13:53:00.002-05:00

While lounging on the couch last evening watching the Jim Carrey version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas with Kerrigan, the memories of watching holiday movies as a child came flooding back to me. I remembering getting giddy with anticipation for Rudolph and Frosty, and my all time favorite, A Christmas Story. Now it seems like the whole Christmas movie market is grossly watered down. I mean, ABC Family is playing a different movie every day this month?! What happened to the handful or terribly animated shows we had, with a couple of old movies we had as kids?

Speaking of Christmas, have you all made your list for Santa? I did mine this morning, and I'll be putting it in the giant mailbox at the mall later. I really hope he gets it in time! I assume, since he has a helper at the mall (I know he isn't the real one, there are just too many malls for him to be at all of them), that he will get it in time to make me the things I really want. This year I put things on my list in order of most wanted down to would like to have but if I don't get it, it isn't the end of the world, but I really still, deep down, want to get it. My list looks like this...

1. The Patriots, Celtics, Bruins and Red Sox to all win a championship in the calendar year 2011. Things are looking good so far, at least on paper.

2. A 2011 Toyota Prius and/or a 2011 Toyota Tacoma. When you drive 50+ miles a day, a car that is great on gas is never a bad thing. As for the truck, I could ask for a trailer and a hitch for the CRV, but I'd much rather drive a new truck to the dump each weekend.

3. All of the necessary supplies to finish our basement. I have a man cave, but it can and will be much better soon. With Santa's help, much sooner.

4. A riding lawn mower. My current mower sucks, which I may have mentioned before. I'm not asking for a John Deere, unless the elves can make it happen.

5. A 4-wheeler with a plow on the front. This would work for me year round, since the plow would come off in the spring/summer/fall. I don't want to have to pay that douche, Tony, again. He sucks.

6. A Red Bull fridge and a years worth of Sugar Free Red Bull. With our schedules, we need this. Sorry Santa, a years worth will probably fill the sleigh!

7. A record contract. I can't sing or play an instrument, but I want to be famous. I figure if all of these worthless "musicians" can make millions selling shitty records, why can't I?!

8. Ownership of a funky dining/drinking establishment. I realize this isn't something you and the elves can whip together, but you know people, you can make this happen, right?

9. Diamond stud earrings. No, I don't have my ears, or anything else for that matter, pierced, but I would love to give some to my wife. I can't afford Cubic Zirconia earrings, so if you could hook a poor bastard up, that would be sick. I'm not talking huge, but 3 carats each ought to work. I don't want them turning her ears into those funky things some of those African tribes had in National Geographic magazines I saw when I was a kid!

10. Peace on earth. I know this is a stretch, especially as long as their are Democrats and Republicans, but I can dream, right. If you can make this happen, I promise I won't write any posts making fun of Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck for all of 2011, I swear!

I feel like it is a pretty modest list, especially when compared to some of the crazy lists I made when I was a kid, or the one my daughter made out of the American Girl catalog, damn that place is expensive! Here's hoping you all get everything on your list, just like I will! I'm just saying...

Holiday party time...

2010-12-14T10:33:00.002-05:00

It's holiday party season, and we've all been to one. Some places do a little breakfast, others close early to do a Yankee Swap and snacks. I've worked for a couple of different drinking establishments that have closed down for the evening and opened up the bar and had a band play. First of all, why is it that a restaurant/bar can do more for a holiday party than most any office I have ever worked for?! Anyways, the holiday party is always a good chance to get to know your co-workers, though, usually in a way you never cared to, especially when it is open bar...

Many of you know that Nichole and I started our courtship thanks in part to the open bar at the Bull Feeney's Christmas party back in 2006. The free flowing of shots and beer made it much easier for me to approach her and work my "game". Also that night, there was a whole lot of crazy going on all around us. I, unfortunately, was witness to a bad case of fire crotch at one point. It's funny, but red heads still scare me a little. If you've seen the movie "Waiting", picture the scene where that chick flashes her bush, and it's very unkempt. Yeah, I still have nightmares. Anyways, this goes back to my statement that these parties usually give you a chance to know your co-workers in a whole new way.

Well, back to the present. Buck's Naked BBQ had their holiday party last night. They rented out Venue on Forest Ave in Portland. Velorasaurus kicked out some jams and the drinks were on the house. Now, apparently all the ladies decided to dress up. Looking back, I'm not sure dressing up is the proper term. I might call it dressing out. Why? Well, you give this group of barely 21ers a few drinks and what the skirt is intending to cover up is covering nothing at all. At one point Nichole and I each had ourselves a little Britney Spears upskirt moment with this one chick. Shortly after that I had the misfortune of seeing another chick haul her skirt up to scratch her upper thigh. Wow, hot mess comes to mind. Speaking of hot mess, since when did 2 drinks over the course of a little over an hour get a person sloppy drunk?! Jesus, either I drink way too much, or these chicks cannot handle their booze. At one point, after the Yankee Swap Smackdown, this one girl was so drunk she couldn't even keep her eyes up when she was trying to convince me to switch with her. I'm still not sure what she said, but she was entertaining for a few minutes.

All this brings me to a very important question, which is, what is it about holiday parties that makes us just not give a shit about how we act? Can you think of one time when there wasn't at least one person bombed, making an ass of themselves? I can't, even when the parties were tame there was always at least one drunk jackass that would eventually piss in the punch or motor boat the bosses wife in front of everyone. Unfortunately, I may have to be that guy if we end up having our little breakfast here at the office this year, since somebody has to do it! I'm just saying...

Sort of like "Deep Thoughts" with Jack Handy, except I'm not Jack Handy, and my thoughts aren't too deep...

2010-12-10T10:05:00.001-05:00

It's Friday, and I'm pretty sure I've never been more excited about it. It's been a fun, but long, weekend. I have a trio of cousins in town from San Diego whom Kerrigan and I haven't seen in years and Nichole has never met. They got in late Wednesday night, and we've been up late the past couple of nights just catching up and shooting the shit. It's great seeing family, especially when it's been so long in between visits. What hasn't been good is the minimal amount of sleep I've gotten, my ass is tired! That's alright, I'll sleep it all off later.

Christmas came early on Yawkey Way in Boston this year. Theo and company were able to make the trade that has been rumored for a couple of years now, bringing lefty slugger Adrian Gonzalez across the country to play first base for years to come in Boston, and then signed speedy left fielder Carl Crawford, who has owned the Red Sox over the years. If we can sign or trade for an arm or two in the bullpen, Beckett and Lackey pitch to their potential and we stay relatively injury free, we have to be considered one of the teams to beat. This must be where that bridge Theo was talking about last year was bringing us, it all makes sense now.

We had our annual road association meeting last night, and boys oh boys was that fun! It was a pot luck gathering, where we discussed the upcoming plowing season and any other issues people may have. Why is this important to you? It's not, it was boring as shit. However, towards the end of the meeting, the association president brought up the installation of the CMP Smart Meters. She went on a long schpeel about how they are dangerous for us and if we are uncomfortable with them then we should contact Central Maine Power and tell them not to install it. Also, they install them while wearing haz-mat suits, so they have to be bad, why else would they wear them, right? My guess is that the person she saw, or more likely, was told about wearing the haz-mat suit was probably wearing a rain suit to stay dry. I have this sinking sensation that these are no more dangerous than our cell phones that are always up to our ears or even our microwaves that we are warming up food and drinks in. Let's just say that I'm not going to start wearing a tin foil hat around the house any time soon.

One of my favorite lunch time haunts is closing today, and I'm sad to see it go. Mousse Cafe and Bakeshop in Monument Square, right next to Longfellow Books has been a regular spot for Nichole and I for a while now. They do a killer breakfast and have some great paninis and sandwiches. What sold me was their sweet treat selection. The peanut butter bars are amazing! In fact, I'll be right back, I'm going to get one right now...

Alright, I'm back. Quick walk up the hill to grab a treat, and I come back with a story, I love it. As I'm walking back down toward Commercial Street, where my office is located, I round the corner by Arabica Coffee and I'm about 8-10 paces behind and older gentleman. All of a sudden I hear this ripping sound, as if he just pushed a giant fart out. Then another. And another. So on and so on for another 5 or 6 farts, a total of 8. He just kept on walking, not worrying about a thing in the world. All this while I'm walking behind him, trying not to burst out laughing, as well as trying not to choke on the distinct smell of old man fart!

I promised my daughter we could decorate a giant gingerbread man this year. We have done gingerbread houses in the past, but last year I swore that I would never do another house again. The sections of roof were supposed to securely fasten to the house with some frosting, that was supplied by the fine makers of the product. However, they didn't work, not even a little. I ended up going through an entire tube of super glue, and all that really did was stick my damn fingers to the house and plate we were using. I have never been so frustrated putting something so simple together. After something like 2 hours and, I'm sure, a few curse words, Kerrigan and I decided that we would never do that again. This year she gets to decorate the gingerbread man while I watch, that I can handle. I'm just saying...

Let's go eat a goddamn snack...

2010-12-07T14:25:00.002-05:00

I was anxious to watch last nights Patriots game against their bitter rival the New York Jets. It turns out, the Jets were anxious to sit around and watch the game happen as well! The Patriots started quickly, getting out to a blistering 17-0 lead after the first quarter. Well, it didn't get much better for the hapless Jets last night, as Tom Brady and company picked them apart to the tune of a 45-3 shellacking at Gillette Stadium. It turns out that Rex Ryan and company need to spend a little more time practicing, and a little less time eating a goddamn snack...

On an altogether different note..

As we were enjoying our usual Monday night pizza and beer at Howie's Pub on Washington Ave in Portland last night, word came through that the Democrats and Republicans came to a "deal" on the Bush tax cuts. Now, I always thought a deal meant each party involved got less than they wanted, but overall, it worked out for both sides. Well, apparently, in politics it means that Republicans get exactly what they want and Democrats concede everything. What the hell happened?! Republicans ran the mid term elections like they were for working people. They wanted to reduce the deficit and bring in the out of control spending. They said it repeatedly, we all heard it. So, as their first big move after the elections, they decide to say that they won't do anything until the full Bush tax cuts are extended. Well, they got exactly what they wanted, a full extension for two years, adding billions more to the deficit. In return the Democrats were able to get 13 months of extended unemployment benefits. Not even the same two years, a measly 13 months.

Alright, now I know I have asked this question before, but I'm still waiting to hear an answer from somebody. How can you call yourself a fiscal conservative that is looking out for working Americans when you just threw a hissy fit in order to give the richest in this country a tax break and were not willing to extend unemployment benefits on those that are out of work until the tax cuts were extended?! You would rather see struggling Americans go without then see the rich pay more in taxes?! Who is more likely to spend their respective money, a millionaire getting a tax break or an out of work person living unemployment check to unemployment check? A millionaire will still be a millionaire, even without that tax break. A person that is denied unemployment just before the holidays is devastated, could be kicked out of their home and forced to live on the state. Who are John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and company really looking out for? Seriously, somebody please answer this for me, I am clearly missing something.

On a much brighter note, my daughter was selected by the Maine Red Claws to be the ballgirl on December 26th! Everybody should buy tickets and come cheer her on as she hits the court for the first time. I can't wait! She is probably going to kill me for this, but I think it will be too stinking cute! I'm just saying...

Why do weekends go by so damn fast?!

2010-12-06T14:37:00.002-05:00

Another week started without consulting me first. I wasn't ready for it, not even a little bit. However, here we are. This week is shaping up to be a bit nutty, but what else is new I guess. I guess I better just pull up my big boy pants and suck it up. Anyways, here is a quick recap of what happened over the past weekend.

I coached my first basketball game for 3rd and 4th grade girls on Saturday. Funny thing is, they listened better than the JV boys team I coached back in like 2000. We played two games and split them. Overall, I am impressed with how quickly these girls are picking things up. Should be a fun and entertaining season.

The Red Sox traded for Adrian Gonzalez. Thank god! This has long been rumored, and finally has come to fruition. This guy is an absolute stud, both as a batter and a first basemen. Now if Theo and co. can sign Carl Crawford and find a reliever or two, I will be one extremely happy Red Sox fan.

I read that Governor-Elect LePage is encouraging the new Attorney General, William Schneider, to join 20 other states in a law suit to overturn the Affordable Care Act. If Maine joins the suit, taxpayers would end up spending as much as $400,000 in legal fees while the state's input would have no effect on the outcome of the case. Not a great start for the so-called "fiscal conservative"...

The US Senate voted down to proposals on a rare Saturday morning session regarding the extension of the Bush tax cuts. The first was to cap the extension on individuals making $200,000 and couples making $250,000 a year. That was quickly shot down. Next up was to cap the extension on individuals making $1,000,000 a year, which was also sent packing. All of this is happening while over 2 million individuals have lost their unemployment benefits because the Republicans won't vote on anything until the Democrats allow everyone to continue with the tax cuts. So, I guess that, at the end of the day, Republicans don't care if unemployed people get minimal benefits, but they are super concerned that millionaires get tax cuts. Interesting... Dear Democrats, you better get this point across!

Big football game tonight. I realize this didn't occur over the weekend, but it's been the talk of sports radio, and is being dubbed as the game of the year. Now, I'm not great at predictions, in fact, I'm probably wrong more than I am right, but I see good things coming for the Patriots. I think that Tom Brady and company have a big night and the Pats win it handily, 34-21. What makes it even better is that Brady and former Jet Danny Woodhead will both perform well enough to give me a fantasy football win over old friend Adam and his Pelican Silencers. Hey Adam, the Pelican's will be screaming tonight! I'm just saying...

A few things I need help with on a Friday morning...

2010-12-03T10:42:00.002-05:00

It's Friday morning, I'm tired after a rough sleeping week, and I find myself scratching my head over a few things. I'm not typically one to let silly things invade my thoughts at night and keep me awake, but some of the following may do exactly that. Honestly, I'm really confused, someone please help me!

Rush Limbaugh wants reparations from Native Americans for deaths from smoking tobacco. Wait, what?! Is he talking about the same Native Americans that we decimated with war and disease? The same Native Americans that settled here before us, we kicked them out, stole their land and took all the credit for discovering this land? The same Native Americans that have absolutely nothing to do with mass producing cigarettes, and make zero profit from the sales of tobacco? Rush, I understand that you are an entertainer, but you are really just a giant tool. How can you even say that with a straight face? You are a despicable man!

How come whenever I go in to a public restroom that has a urinal in it there is ALWAYS piss on the floor? How hard is it to aim and hit the rather large target that is a urinal? I understand how at a bar there might be some pee on the floor, dudes have a hard time standing still and their aim is a bit off, I get that. But every time I go to the bathroom and there is a urinal in it, there is piss on the floor. And not just some splash. It looks like someone just full on pissed on the floor. Why?!

Senator John McCain wanted to wait for a report to come out before deciding what he thinks we should do regarding the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. Well, the report came out stating that and flip flop McCain is at it again, stating that he thought the report was flawed because the Commander in Chief Barack Obama, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Mullen are not qualified to determine whether the policy's repeal will harm the troops, in his opinion. Look, I've never served in the military, so I don't know what the big deal is, first of all. What I do understand, though, is that men and women that want to defend our country are being singled out because of what goes in in their personal lives. Here's something for you to think about McCain. You know how you don't like the personal choices that the homosexual soldier beside you has made? Guess what, he says the same thing about you. The only difference is that he isn't holding it against you. Let's cut the bullshit, stop judging people and come together for the common good.

Why do chain restaurants always have shitty beer selections? Sure, you can grab a Sam Adams, but, meh, it's alright. Do only people with no actual taste buds eat at chains? Why can't I get a Guinness a Dogfish Head or a Sierra Nevada? Why is the local beer always Shipyard Export? Why does Chili's still have Pumpkinhead on tap? Why did we go to a chain for drinks expecting something different? When is a good, non-chain, going to open near the mall for bastards like me that are Christmas shopping?

Another quick look into the mind that is mine. Again, not keeping me up all night, but certainly some head scratchers. Leg brain may be keeping me up a little at night, but that is a different story for a different day. I'm just saying...

What the American people really want is someone to just say no for them...

2010-12-01T13:13:00.002-05:00

I had no intentions to talk about politics today. In fact, I wasn't even sure I was going to write anything today. Didn't sleep real good last night and have a pretty full plate at work, didn't plan on spending much, if any time on here. Then I had to read this headline, "GOP says it'll block bills until tax cuts extended", on Yahoo while eating my lunch. Now, I suffer from high blood pressure as it is, so stories like this aren't helping me very much. Now that I have finished eating, and taken a minute to calm down, I have a few questions.

WHAT?!

Are you kidding me?

Seriously, WHAT?!

Ok, but seriously, I guess I need someone to break this down for me. I have spent more time than I should have reading about the Bush era tax cuts and I must be missing something somewhere. Republicans want to extend what has been dubbed the Bush era tax cuts to all tax paying Americans, including the wealthiest, while Democrats want to extend it for tax payers making $1,000,000 or less, and not continuing the cut for the top earners. Republicans say raising taxes in a down economy is never a good thing. Democrats say that the top earners would only save the difference, not spend it, so it isn't helping the economy at all.

I ask this to Republicans - If we just blindly extend these cuts, how do we pay for them? You want to balance the budget and reduce our deficit, how can you possibly do that when the extension would cost $3.7 trillion over the next ten years. Is that what the American people want? I don't think so.

Another question I have for Republicans that want to just say no to everything. How does not continuing unemployment benefits for 2 millions Americans that are out of work right now, due to this down economy, help? These funds will be going directly back into the economy, right? And forget about the fact that it will happen just before the holidays. How will this positively impact Americans?

What about the Dream Act? Are you going to tell me that an 18 year old that was brought here illegally, 14 years ago, who is going to college to get his/her degree should be kicked out of the country? What about the 18 year old who is fighting for our country? I agree, he/she didn't come here legally, but at 4 years of age, did that child have a choice? I would say that this affects people of this country, as it either means that they have to leave or they are allowed to stay.

How about Don't Ask Don't Tell? Are you telling me that this isn't affecting Americans? There are troops that have been kicked out because of their sexual partner of choice, which has absolutely no bearing on their performance protecting our country. Why are we still fighting, in 2010, for equal rights to all people? Where in the Constitution does it say that you can fight for our country, but only if you are straight? No, seriously, where does it say that?

See, what I don't understand is, why are we trying to make a political point on this? There is a lot at stake for people all over this country. When are we going to stop worrying about getting our way and remember that we are all impacted differently from moves these politicians make. Politics, like life, needs to be full of compromise. It can't work with the mantra "my way of the highway". The President has offered an olive branch, looking to work together with Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Eric Cantor and company, but it seems that they just don't give a shit. I'm just saying...

A few requirements before flying...

2010-11-29T12:33:00.002-05:00

Late Saturday evening marked the return of my lovely wife from her vacation to Guatemala, in Central America. Kerrigan and I made the drive to Boston to meet Nichole at Logan Airport, and had a great time in the process. We had a nice little visit to the Museum of Science and then a dinner date at the Cheesecake Factory. After spending some quality time together, we headed over to the airport and took a little nap in the car before Nichole's flight landed just before midnight. She brought back with her many cool gifts, some amazing photographs, and some entertaining stories. One of the more entertaining stories, in my opinion, had nothing to do with Guatemala. In fact, it took place on the flight home, from Miami to Boston. While I found humor in it, Nichole was less than impressed. However, it did bring to mind a few things to keep in mind when flying...

If you have smelly feet, don't take off you shoes. Trust me, as a fellow smelly foot person, leave you damn shoes on. It may not completely mask your swamp foot, but it is better than exposing your sweaty socks to your neighbors. Nobody wants to know you that well, believe me.

If you have some goblins hiding out in your nose, your seat is not the place to start making your finger dance all the way up to the second or third knuckle. If you need to pick something out, make your way to the bathroom and use a damn tissue. Nobody wants to see you digging for gold in your nostrils, especially if you find something! Along those same lines, if you have a runny, stuffy nose, blow it out. Don't sit there and snort it back up. This sound is enough to make some people puke, and that is never good on a plane.

Before flying, take a shower. Nobody wants to sit next to a person that wreaks of body odor. Don't know if you smell bad or not you say. How about this, lift either arm and do a quick armpit sniff. If you don't think you smell good, the person in the seat beside you won't think you smell good. The showering process is very simple. Don't be afraid to try it out. And don't forget your deodorant!

I know that the arm rests are small, but be considerate. Don't just assume that the middle one is yours for the entirety of the flight.

If you have the urge to fart, ignore it. If you can't ignore it, make your way to the bathroom. Your neighbor does not want to smell your smelly butt air. It's not like you can open a window to make the smell go away.

Have long fingernails? Cut them before you leave. Didn't have time before you left? Tough shit, wait until you land. If the person in the seat beside me ever cuts their nails mid flight, they are going to get elbowed in the teeth. I don't want to ever find somebodies fingernail clipping in my vodka tonic or pretzels!

If you are prone to snore, don't nap. If you aren't sure, and you do snore, expect me to drive my elbow into your ribs. For example, I snore. Because of that, and the fact that I am too damn tall to fly comfortably, I don't sleep. Crisis averted.

The reason this all comes up is because Nichole sat next to that guy on her trip home. The thing is, I bet she isn't alone. I bet this same guy has sat next to you on flights as well. Now, these are pretty basic requirements in my opinion. Simply put, don't get on the plane unless you are clean. I don't think that is too much to ask. Remember, you are not flying alone, you have others around you. I'm just saying...

Black Friday, more like Crack Friday...

2010-11-26T13:26:00.002-05:00

Well, I decided there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to drag my happy ass out of bed before the sun came up this morning. No thanks, all set with that. Now, I get that there are "great deals" and "doorbusters" at all the retailers, but I'm not fully convinced that there has ever been a deal on something I actually was interested in purchasing. To me, it's kind of like shopping at Shaw's. Sure, I can save a couple of bucks, but I'm not necessarily buying something I would normally want or buy.

Kerrigan and I did, however, decide to brave the crowds later in the morning, around 9 o'clock. We assumed the crowds would still be big, but at the very least we would have full bellies from Governor's first! After grabbing breakfast we went to Best Buy, tooled around for a bit and walked out empty handed. Then we went to my favorite retailer in all the world, Wal-Mart. Why is it my favorite retailer you ask? Have you ever been there? It's amazing. You can't walk out of that place without seeing at least one person that cracks you up for one reason or another. Well, we were not disappointed. We left here pretty much empty handed too. I got another package of cough drops and a tree ornament for Kerrigan, which is a yearly tradition for us.

All in all, we survived our abbreviated version of shopping on Black Friday. Things I learned today would be that I still hate shopping on Black Friday, even later in the morning. I've decided that I want to shop online or at small, local retailers from now on. Either that or everyone is getting a case of home brew this year. I'm just saying...

Things to be thankful for...

2010-11-25T08:33:00.002-05:00

I hadn't intended to write anything today, but I'm a little overwhelmed by the many great posts on Facebook. It inspired me to tell all of you some of the many things I am thankful for. Now, family and friends are an obvious one. I have supportive and loving parents, an incredible sister, awesome grandparents, the greatest daughter and the most amazing wife, not to mention all of my wonderful aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws of all varieties. I also have more incredible friends than one guy deserves. Obviously, I am eternally grateful for all of you guys. The following are some things that you may or may not know that I am thankful for...

Boston sports teams. The Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots and Bruins have brought much frustration to my life, but they have brought infinite amounts of joy as well. I have been a huge fan for years, and will never abandon ship. I remember dreaming of one day being the next Larry Bird, then realizing I wasn't good enough to be the next Eric Montross, but I watch every game I can, even back in the late 90's and early 2000's when the Celtics were terrible. I'll never forget the sheer pain I felt as soon as I saw the ball come of Aaron "F&cking" Boone's bat in 2003 (I still haven't actually seen the ball clear the fence), but couldn't wait to see the Red Sox get back on the field in 2004, when they eventually won the World Series. Good or bad, I'm thankful for the entertainment you provide me.

Beer. Dogfish Head, Marshall's Wharf, Geary's and Stone Brewing. I love you guys. Hell, I love most all breweries out there, and there are way too many to ever mention. Whether I am just drinking it brewing it myself, I love it. I will be forever thankful for the wonderful combination of water, hops, malt, barley and yeast.

Cheese sauce from the Great Lost Bear. If you haven't had it, what the hell are you waiting for?! It's good on everything. I might actually drink it by the pint. GLB, thank you!

Phish. I have been following the Phish boys since 1997, when I heard they were coming to Limestone for a three day festival that later turned out to be Lemonwheel. Since then, I have seen them 6 times, have purchased about a dozen cd's and downloaded a ridiculous number of songs and shows from the Internet. I love how every show is different. I love just watching the people at the shows. I love the randomness of the lyrics. There isn't much I don't like about them. I am also thankful that they decided to get back together!

The Daily Show. Jon Stewart and company have given me so much joy over the years. The way they point out all of the craziness going on in the world around us is greatly appreciated. I also love the way they mock Glenn Beck, that just never gets old. Jon, if you are reading this, I would love to have an opportunity to be one of your correspondents some day...

These are just a few of the many things I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving. I'm excited to spend the day with my family and Kerrigan, though we will be missing Nichole, while she is hanging out in Guatemala with Auntie Dawn and friends. I look forward to her safe return late Saturday evening, and hope she has a wonderful Thanksgiving south of the border. Here's hoping everyone eats themselves silly today! Happy Thanksgiving everyone, you are the best! I'm just saying...

Rumblings and grumblings...

2010-11-24T11:40:00.002-05:00

Oh, hi! Remember me? Yeah, I've been on deaths door now for a couple of days. After taking the afternoon off yesterday and getting a measly 15 hours sleep, I'm back today. Of course, I get back to the office in time for an early close. Oh well, fine by me! As we get ready for the biggest eating day of the year tomorrow, I'll leave you with a few thoughts bouncing around in my head...

Everyone is making a huge deal about the new TSA screenings at the airports. What is this all about you ask?! Well, basically, if they feel you look suspicious they can ask you to get patted down, and if you refuse the pat down you can have the full body scan. Now, the full body pat down consists of just that, a full body pat down. Now, call me crazy, but I'm fine with a full body pat down if it means I am safer on the airplane. I'm not a huge fan of flying in the first place, so anything that makes the experience a little safer is just fine with me. Perhaps everyone should take an extra minute before heading to the airport to ensure they look a little less suspicious...

Bristol Palin came in third on Dancing With The Stars, and she was upset about it. Bristol, dear, you only made it as far as you did because mommy paid ABC to keep you there so the Palin name was in the news. You sucked. You were so bad you caused a guy in Wisconsin to shoot his television set. Now, as if a show about dancing wasn't bad enough, now the geniuses at ABC are putting out Skating With The Stars. Hey dude from Wisconsin, hopefully you have more ammunition for that gun...

Now, I'm obviously not a NY Yankee fan. In fact, I despise them. Along those same lines I really don't like Derek Jeter. Sure, he's had a good career, but all the love he has garnered gets old. His stats are declining, he's getting older, and he's not worth a huge contract at this point. That being said, he's been the face of the Yankees forever, and they should just overpay him like every other player and make this all go away. Since they are not, I say the Red Sox make a gross offer to him, see if they can lure him away from NY. How amazing would it be to just sign him to say F U to the Yankees! Again, he wouldn't help us at this point in his career, but it would be pretty funny!

The big Harry Potter movie just came out, and I have to say, I just don't get it?! What the hell is the big deal? Can someone please explain why these movies have people wetting themselves with excitement? Sure, they may be enjoyable movies, but I truly am bewildered by the way people get into them. To me, the Potter series, the Lord of the Rings movies and the Twilight series are an absolute mystery to me. Magic? Werewolves? Wizards? Vampires? I'm sorry, I'm not following. I'd, honestly, rather watch Gigli (that disaster of a film with Bennifer in it) or any movie with Carrot Top or Gilbert Godfried in it...

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I'm going to eat myself stupid. I get really excited for green bean casserole, stuffing and putting gravy on everything. What I don't get excited about is that goopy cranberry "sauce" stuff. What the hell is that? It looks more like Jello than any kind of sauce. Perhaps it tastes good, but I'm not putting that weird looking stuff in my belly when I could have a second (or fourth) helping of stuffing.

Well, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. I'll be heading over to my parent's place with my daughter. If all goes well, we will eat our respective weights in dinner and desert. Our family tradition is to go to L.L. Bean in Freeport after dinner to walk around and try to burn off a little bit of what we ate. Also this year, the Patriots are playing against the Lions. It will be nice to be able to care about one of the teams playing on Thanksgiving for once. Anyways, I hope everyone has a great weekend and we'll catch back up on Monday! I'm just saying...

All in due time, and it's not that time yet...

2010-11-18T09:53:00.002-05:00

I realize the commercial factors involved in every real, and quasi, holiday in the United States. I totally get it. However, what I don't get is the timing of it all. I really need someone to explain to me why the day after Halloween we have Christmas items hitting store shelves. Did I miss something here? Isn't there another major holiday stashed in there between them? Sure, Thanksgiving isn't quite the commercial megaholiday that Halloween and Christmas are, but it's still there, sitting almost exactly in the middle. It's real, it happens, I've been there for it 30 times already. Why, then, is it necessary for me to walk into any retailer on November 1st and see aisles of Christmas decorations from floor to ceiling? Give me one holiday at a time, let's not get carried away and get ahead of ourselves here. I want to be able to cram enough turkey and stuffing into my body that I can't move for several hours first, then go Christmas shopping, not vice versa.

Now, I'm sure I'm going to get some shit for this, and that's fine. Someone has to say this, because I know a lot of you are thinking it, and I mean both you ladies and you guys out there. Tom Brady's hair is freaking magnificent! I mean, that bastard has a beautiful head of hair. Now, perhaps I say this because the best I can grow on my 31 year old head is about what a 6 week old baby has, or perhaps it is because it is just plain awesome. Besides, for all you haters out there, if any of you got Giselle drunk enough to marry you, you would pretty much do anything she wants, and if she wanted you to have long, flowing locks, you better believe you would be going shaggy as fast as possible!

Back to the Christmas thing, when does everyone put their decorations up? Growing up, our family tradition was to put everything up the day after Thanksgiving. My sister, mother and I would be bouncing around the house, filled with all sorts of the "Christmas spirit", while my father would just shake his head at us until about the 20th of December, when he finally joined the rest of us. To me, any earlier than that is simply wrong, but beyond that, it's kind of a fire hazard, right? I mean, that's a long time to hook electricity up to a drying piece of timber, isn't it?! Why not just use candles like the old days, I mean, no quicker way to start a fire than with actual fire! I'm just saying...

A little bit of this, some of that, and a whole lot of something else...

2010-11-17T11:06:00.002-05:00

I had every intention to give you all some happy crap today, but as my day gets more annoying, you are going to get more ranting than anything else today. I'll start with a quick recap of last night, and then it's all over...

We went to the Merrill Auditorium last night and watched those hosers, the Barenaked Ladies, perform another highly energetic, highly entertaining show. It's the first time either Nichole or I saw them, and they were a lot of fun. I knew probably 90% of the songs they played, which is always nice when you see a band for the first time. It was cool to see people of all ages there as well. I really enjoy the way they keep the banter going throughout the show, and the occasional raps are worth the price of admission. I've been a fan for years, so it was nice to finally check out a show. I would recommend checking them out, even if you only know a few songs, they are a lot of fun.

Quick public service announcement from yours truly to all pedestrians out there. If you are not in a crosswalk, or if you have a Don't Walk sign flashing in front of you, you are now fair game, and I will no longer attempt to stop. I've given you years of leeway on this, and it ends today. That doesn't mean you stop, look at me, see me coming, then put your head down and act as if you didn't see me. This also doesn't mean that because you are in a crosswalk you have the right of way. For your convenience, in the Greater Portland area, more specifically, downtown Portland, there are fancy lights that tell you when and when not to cross the street. If you can't read them, learn, your time is up. I don't care if you are a business professional, a homeless person, or an art school hipster, if you don't follow the simple pedestrian rules, you better hope you have insurance.

Four Loko, the wonderful combination of malt liquor and caffeine is in hot water due to its high ABV (6%-12% depending on state regulations) and high levels of caffeine. Four Loko is one of those fun drinks that keeps you going all night with its energy component, and gets you blind drunk with its malt liquor aspect. Sounds good, right? Turns out it has fast become the drink of choice on college campuses and among high school students because it is dirt cheap and potent. When alcohol and caffeine are combined people report feeling reduced sensations typically associated with alcohol believed to result from caffeine counteracting the depressive effects thus keeping the individual more alert. However, when the caffeine wears off the person feels the full effects of the alcohol. Then we find ourselves drinking in excess because we still don't feel drunk, then bam! Completely destroyed! Now, do I think it needs to be banned? I'm indifferent. I see it as no different than Vodka and Red Bull or Jager Bombs. I would never drink Four Loko, so it doesn't bother me. Though, if I had to choose a side, I say ban it.

Word just came through that Lisa Murkowski, the right in candidate in the Alaska Senate race, pulled out the win, over Sarah Palin endorsed Joe Miller. I'm also hearing that Palin is strongly considering running for President in 2012, not that this comes as a surprise to anybody that follows politics. I'll give my two cents on the subject, and I feel it's not too far off. If you can't get enough people to vote for the candidate you endorsed in your home state, I don't see how you have a snowballs chance in hell winning in the primary, let alone the Presidency. Besides, wouldn't you rather be hanging out in the Alaskan wilderness than in an office? I mean, you did say that, right?

Speaking of the Palin's, did you see that Bristol is still doing her thing on Dancing With The Stars? I'll be honest, I have never watched that show. In fact, I would actually kick my own ass if I did. However, I stay on top of all this pop culture stuff, and I have seen that she has been one of the lowest scoring dancers week in and week out, and she is still there. Now, I'm not big on conspiracy theories, but me thinks something is going on here. Did the Palin's pay the producers to keep her around as long as possible to keep the Palin name in the headlines?

I noticed on Twitter today that Eva Longoria has filed divorce from her basketball playing husband, Tony Parker. Apparently they have a few "irreconcilable differences" that they are unable to work out. I'm guessing one is that she is smoking hot, and he has not been nearly as good on the basketball court as she once thought he would be. She sees the writing on the wall, she will be fully supporting him within 5 years, and she ain't having it. The good news is, if Nichole lets me, I have a chance again! I'm just saying...

Fantasy football, and some old fashioned frisbee flinging fun...

2010-11-16T11:17:00.003-05:00

So, I recently made my first real attempt at Disc Golf in a good many years, and I have to say, I'm not horrible. I mean, forget the one disc I lost in the middle of a pond, right after fishing it out from the side of the very same pond. You would need to ignore my first drive too, where my throw might have gone 30 feet to my left. There was also that one hole where I chucked it directly into the woods on both the first and third shots. But, other than that, I did decent. Once I figure out the best way to chuck the damn thing, I should be a pretty good frisbee chucker. The one thing I did learn while playing was that it uses some different muscles than I am used to. My back, sides and elbow were a bit sore the day after.

Fantasy football season is now over half done, and for the most part, I'm completely screwed! First of all, I have too many teams, which was my own damn fault. I typically have a couple of teams, one I pay for, one I don't. I have always seen it as a great way to pay attention to the whole league, not just the Patriots. However, with five teams, I am constantly put in a position where I need to cheer for one guy in one league, and against the same guy in another league. Not fun. Take last night, for example. I needed Jeremy Maclin, WR from the Eagles, to give me 20 plus points to win in one league, but I need Michael Vick, QB from the Eagles, to have a bad game in a different league in order to win. Now, unfortunately for me, Michael Vick had a huge game, but Maclin didn't do enough to give me the win, causing me to lose in both leagues, but such is my luck this season.

Across my five leagues, I am a combined 18-31-1, which is pathetic, especially considering I have good teams in each league. I have not caught a break, in fact, I'm a whooping 0-10 in one of my leagues. I haven't won a damn game, nothing, nada. Terrible. I am a consistent top 5 finisher year in and year out, but this year is looking mighty different. I think next year I will go back to 2 teams, maybe 3. It's too hard to have to cheer for teams like the Giants or individuals like Ben Roethlisberger or anybody on the Jets. It makes me feel ill having to root any of them on. I'm just saying...

Weekend wrapup, more like weekend nap up...

2010-11-15T13:06:00.002-05:00

Going into Friday night I was basically death warmed over. I had been hacking and coughing for a couple of days, my nose was running like an out of control faucet and I was so tired I needed toothpicks to prop my eyes open for the evening commute. That, my friends, is an awesome way to start your weekend! Well, let me tell you, I decided to ignore how craptastic I felt and put on my dance pants... No, no I didn't. I ate my dinner in bed and was lights out while watching the Celtics game. In fact, that was most of my weekend. I literally slept most of my weekend. Feel much better today though, so I would say it was well worth it.

Sunday was a different story, and thank god. We got moving at a fairly decent time and took our furry, brown pooch to Bradbury Mountain in Pownal. Now, mountain may be a bit of a stretch, but it's a great place to go for a hike or a bike ride, and it was just gorgeous there yesterday. We hiked up the South Ridge trail and eventually made our way to the summit to enjoy the beautiful view. It was a great hike and Yawkey, our rambunctious lab had a blast. From there we went to Brunswick to run a few errands and poke around the indoor flea market. After getting a few things we needed, a few things we didn't, and not finding other things we did need, we made our way to the Lion's Pride.

For those of you who have not yet been to the Lion's Pride in Brunswick, what the hell are you waiting for?! As they put it, it's where art, food and beer meet, and boy oh boy are they right. They have a great selection of hard to find beers from all over Europe and a few closer to home, and they have an excellent food menu. I got my favorite, the Chimay Burger, which is covered in the most amazing cheeses. Nichole got the steak and cheese, which may be moving up the list to my new favorite, as it was incredible. The staff there are awesome. They are extremely knowledgeable, very passionate about both their beers and their food, and they are just plain fun to chat with. Nichole and I tend to go at an off time, like around 3:00. We usually have the bar to ourselves and have a good time trying different beers and chatting up the bartender. I highly recommend getting your butts to this fine establishment in Brunswick, and soon!

We capped the weekend with a viewing of the Patriots game from our sweatpants on the couch. I may have only seen the first half and woke up covered in sweat at 1:30 AM, but it was nice to know that the Pats smacked the Steelers around a little and even though Tom Brady didn't give me enough fantasy points to beat Pierson's Pats, I'll take a New England Patriots win every time. All is all, it was a damn good weekend, and I'm feeling 100% better today. I guess it's time to tackle another week. I'm just saying...

Someday I want to take my talents to South Beach too...

2010-11-09T15:23:00.003-05:00

I had a whole post done earlier today, and when I went to post it I lost it?! I'll give you the Cliff Notes version and call it good, I'm too flu-like to type it all again...

The Patriots lost to the Browns, and that makes no god damn sense. I'm hosting tryouts this weekend, we can put together a better, more consistent bunch, I'm sure of it. Good news is we have the Steelers and Colts coming up...

Lots of celebrities took part in the NYC Marathon this past weekend, including Jared "the Subway dude" Fogle. He was quoted after saying that "If I can do it, anybody can get off the couch and do one to two miles." True, Jared, but that was a dick move, it's going to be much harder for me to get out of running next time Nichole asks. NOT COOL my friend, NOT COOL!

Did you know that the Giants are no longer in New York, they moved to San Francisco? Hell, they even won the World Series. I had no clue! And they have a pitcher that colors his beard and has a mullet. I normally pick up on crap like that, huh.

Speaking of baseball, it's time to talk free agency. The wonderful time of year where baseball teams across the country over pay aging players with diminishing talents. How much will the Yankees overpay Derek Jeter? Who will the Sox get to replace those awful pitchers in the bullpen? Oh, hot stove, time for you to heat up, I've missed you!

Dear NFL Commissioner Roger Godell, stop fining players for hard hits. Unless they are a blatant helmet to helmet hit, stop! Football is a mans sport, and it is meant to be played at 100%. These guys know what they are getting into. Besides, I love seeing moments like those of Brett Favre against the Patriots, where he didn't know his ass from his elbow. Couldn't have happened to a better person. Except maybe that ass hat Eli Manning. What a useless turd that guy is.

Jon Miller and Joe Morgan are out as Sunday Night Baseball announcers on ESPN. If it weren't for Tim McCarver and Joe Buck, Joe Morgan would be the worst announcer alive. I'm very excited to know that I won't fall asleep during every broadcast he does, it will be nice to have someone with a pulse doing the games, hopefully. Now, who do we talk to at Fox to get rid of McCarver and Buck, they are terrible.

The Bowl Championship Series, or BCS for short, is such a crock of shit. Until there is a playoff in college football, I'm not going to take it seriously. I will, however, continue to root against Notre Dame, Florida and Miami, while continuing my allegiance to the Florida State Seminoles, despite many years of mediocrity. Ugh.

This is the sports world according to me, I'm just saying...

Hey dude, nice mullet!

2010-11-08T12:30:00.003-05:00

Brew Fest weekend. I'm already excited to plan the festivities for next year. That's how much fun we have every year at this annual event. Saturday did not disappoint. For those of you that were there, our large group could be seen roaming the Portland Expo building sporting our W.W.J.B. t-shirts, and pretzel necklaces. What the heck is W.W.J.B. you ask?! Well, that would be short for What Would Jesus Brew, of course. Our group, who we have coined The Brew Crew, has grown over the past few years, originally starting out as a small group of friends that wanted to turn the annual Maine Brewer's Festival into something more than just a chance to try some different barley infused offerings. Our first year was a modest dozen or so people taking a limo to and from the festival in some locally printed t-shirts that we designed. Last year we rented a school bus from the fine people over at VIP Charter, and they were kind enough to transport us again this year. Our shirts have evolved too. We've sported everything from "I'd Tap That" to "Chug Life" to this years "W.W.J.B.". We've even created a Facebook Fan Page for everyone to be able to stay up to date on what we are working on next.

As for the festival itself, it was a great time again this year. I had the opportunity to try some new offerings that I had not yet had, like the Sebago Barleywine, which was aged in Bourbon barrels and kicked me square in the jiblets, damn! Sebago also had their Local Harvest (an APA made with local hops and barley) and Hell Awaits (their imperial porter) on cask, which were excellent! Peak Organic had some excellent selections, and Geary's, one of my top Maine breweries, had their Wee Heavy and Imperial IPA, two of my favorites. There was some good music playing in the background, and there was lots of food options. As usual, a great event.

Our group of about 45 people, all wearing our matching t-shirts, were a rowdy bunch, as usual. We all enjoy a good time, and want everyone to be having fun along with us. Our shirts got a few looks, mostly smiles, but a few hairy eyeballs were seen amongst the crowd. To those people I say, go to your local 7-Eleven and buy yourself a sense of humor. No disrespect was meant, just trying to be a little tongue-in-cheek. We actually sold a half dozen or more to patrons in the crowd, the shirts were a big hit. The bus ride back from the Portland Expo to Gritty McDuff's in the Old Port was entertaining also. We picked up about a half dozen new people (for a small fee, and yes Nichole, Amy paid), and had lots of drunken photos snapped. Post brew fest we all went in different directions, and a small group of us landed at Sebago for dinner. Apparently, from what I have since heard, we acted up, which I totally disagree with and would call bullshit on. I have been told that one of the manager's posted on his Facebook wall "what would jesus brew? he wouldn't act up in a restaurant". The the manager at Sebago that posted this, I say suck it to you my friend. We didn't act up, we did nothing out of the ordinary for a group of 10 in the Old Port on a Saturday night. Now, if you are jealous because Brew Crew was having fun while you were working, I'm sorry, take the night off and join us next year. Until then, get over it.

The night would end early for Marcole and Casey. One member of our trio was slightly intoxicated, and I won't mention names, but when Casey and I convinced Nichole that she was too drunk to drive, despite her repeated attempts to prove us otherwise, we caught a ride back to New Gloucester from my father. Normally a ride home from the bars from your father would be embarrassing, but when faced with the idea of getting an OUI, I'll take the ride in the far back of a Ford Escape from my father any day of the week. The ride was great, the farts however, were less than great. Though, looking back, I guess I contributed to a bit of the overpowering stench, and for that I am sorry.

All in all, the Maine Brewer's Festival 2010 was a great time. Brew Crew did it up again, and we did it right. I look forward to a new theme and some new faces next year. Until then, check out our page on Facebook, and send it along to your friends. In closing, I offer you this... Can you imagine what would happen if Santa Claus, Count Chocula, Chuck Norris and the Easter Bunny hooked up after a night of Patron shots and pizza rolls? Neither can we, but we do know that you don't want to miss out on the Brew Crew! I'm just saying...

A new format and a commitment to consistency...

2010-11-05T10:24:00.002-04:00

The past few weeks were crazy. I barely remember half of it, and the parts I do remember involved lots of running around and work. It's nice to finally be able to take a deep breath. While I'm still not over what happened Tuesday night / Wednesday morning, it's nice to see things slow down a little. I would like to apologize for not being more consistent on here, it was hard to focus my thoughts onto the page with all the political happenings going on around me. With all that behind us, I plan on putting more emphasis on the blog, but in a much more structured way. I've been very political lately, some people enjoy it, some people won't read it. I'm looking to start doing a little something for everyone going forward. I also have a hidden agenda...

I've been thinking about how I want to structure things on here, and I feel like the best way to move this forward is to have specific topics discussed, and scheduled for certain days. Going forward, my plan looks like this...

Monday - Recap the weekend events, either personally or from the news.

Tuesday - Discuss the sporting world.

Wednesday - Pot Pouri. No, not the smelly stuff you have in a basket in your house. This is more of a day for whatever. One week it might be discussing global warming, the next it could questioning why monkeys like to throw their poop, I just don't know what the topic will be, but it will be different each week.

Thursday - Rant day. I need to have a day to just get shit off my chest. This will probably turn into a day of Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin bashing, but it will depend on what is going on in the world.

Friday - I plan on doing something different every other week. One week will discuss the state/national political scene. The other week will be a platform for me to toss out my thoughts and ideas. I plan on running for office at some point, so I will use it as a chance to get feedback from all of you, be it positive or negative. I have a mental plan in place for how I want to go about running for office, but I want to use the time leading up to it as an opportunity to talk to all of you, get your feedback and thoughts, even if you tear me apart, I want to hear it.

I figure with a specific topic scheduled for each day of the week you will know what to expect going in to it each day. Now, this of course puts some pressure on me to deliver. I have been less than stellar at being consistent on here, so I'll have to get my shit together. I just want to go back to having fun on here. I've been so caught up in politics that I have pushed the blog to the side, and I'm back. Thanks to everyone for continuing to read and follow along, this has been fun so far, and it's only going to get better! I'm just saying...

Now that the dust has settled, I want the dust to come back...

2010-11-04T10:22:00.002-04:00

I had planned on having a nice long celebratory post yesterday. However, here I am, on Thursday, just now able to swallow the bitter pill that the underwhelming majority of Maine voters fed me. As you all know, our next governor will be none other than Mister Paul LePage. It actually hurt my fingers to type that, and I have to admit, I threw up in my mouth a little. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I want to see him fail, that's just dumb (please note that a good number of Republicans have said that about President Obama). I mean, if he fails, all of us Mainers fail. We don't want that. We need to change things in Augusta, and LePage has promised lots of that. I'll be the first to tell you that I don't think he is the right person for the job, in fact I think he is far from the right person for the job.

LePage ran on the Tea Party platform, despite his many attempts to tell you otherwise. Hell, he even had the head of the Maine Tea Party lead the people gathered during election night in song. Part of the Tea Party platform was feeding off anger. Voters across the state and across the country are angry. We are angry that so many people are still out of work. We are angry that the economy hasn't gotten better. We are angry because we don't feel our elected officials are always working for us, which is what they should be doing. That being said, we aren't looking for a dictator or a fist shaker. We need to have a diplomatic leader that is able to work well with both sides, not just a few from one side and all of the other. Politics is no different than a relationship, you need to give and take to make it work. It can't be all one sided, and you certainly can't act like a bully. There are going to be times when you agree to something you aren't a big fan of, but you know what, it has to be done for the greater good. Do you think I wanted to go to "Clueless: The Musical" last time I was in NYC? Not exactly, but my beautiful wife did, so I went along. We have to make concessions along the way to make this state better. Will LePage be able to do this? Time will tell.

Voter turnout was less than stellar considering the magnitude of this election and the contrasting differences between the 5 candidates, as well as the few write-ins. Maine typically expects about 50-55% of registered voters to get out and cast a ballot. Gubernatorially speaking (made up word, I know), we had a whooping 46% vote this time around. First of all, that bothers me a little, but that is beyond my control. Secondly, LePage needs to keep in mind that he won this election with just 38% of the total vote. While that worked out to be the majority, it's underwhelming at best, and might I point out that it also means that 62% of Mainers voted against him. Nearly two out of every three people didn't want him to win, so he has a long way to go to get the approval of the actual majority of voters.

Having been very involved in this election, I got to see things a different way than normal this year. I also saw a lot because I was supporting the Independent in the race. I am a registered Democrat, and I have to say, I am more than a little bothered by the lies, distortions and half truths they put out against Eliot Cutler. It was very disturbing that they would play that game. Now, the Republicans didn't do anything to win me over, let's not forget that they did much of the same. The Independents in this race kept it very clean, with none of them personally running or approving any mudslinging. Some people say that the dirty way works, but I have to be honest with you, I hate it. I really don't care what you say your opponent will or won't do, I already know that from following along, what I want to know is what you will or won't do, according to you.

As for all those commercials and mailers, please stop! I mean, I don't want to put anybody out of business if they are the people producing such materials, but they are a waste of money. Instead of the candidates, or the many PACs and groups funding the candidates giving all this money to smear the opponent, why not take and dump all that money directly into the economy. Why not donate it to struggling non-profits or to improve a local school or library? What about applying it directly to the state deficit? I know none of this will ever happen, but all that money raised by Karl Rove's crew and the others just like it could be used a whole hell of a lot more wisely if you ask me.

Needless to say, I could go on and on, and I have before, about why I don't think LePage will make a good governor, but now we have to just wait and see. Let's see if he sticks with his promises that he has made and see if he keeps ruling with that short temper that got him into more than a few scrapes along his way to winning the election. If I thought hiding in my basement for the next 4 years would make this go by faster I probably would. Perhaps now is a good time to hike the Appalachian Trail like I have always wanted to. Either way, the real question on everyones mind is this, how long before he punches someone in the face or gets thrown out of the Blaine House? I don't think he makes it two years without facing some serious investigation. Problem is, Maine will have a much worse black eye than whomever is on the other end of LePage's fist. I'm just saying...

I noticed a few noteworthy notes...

2010-10-25T14:38:00.002-04:00

As we get closer to the mid term elections next Tuesday, there are lots of things going on in the news these days. I could keep busy keeping you up to date on everything, but I'll just toss a few fun things your way today. Enjoy...

Did you hear about the Democratic candidate running for Governor in Rhode Island? Apparently he didn't get the endorsement from President Obama he was hoping for, so he has told the President to "shove it". Reminder to Frank "Shove it" Caprio, it's one week away from Election Day but you are free to go home now, there is nothing more for you to see here. I'm not suggesting that not getting the presidential endorsement would kill your campaign, but by telling the commander in chief to shove it, you just lost your base to the Independent and your chances of winning are quickly vanishing. Well done, dumbass.

Sony is no longer making the iconic Walkman that we all carried proudly back in the day. Remember those clunky music boxes? We would make our favorite mix tape and clip the Walkman onto our belt and groove to the music. Damn you Apple for making a much smaller, much better version that didn't require carrying your entire cassette tape collection, having to buy stock in Duracell, as well as wearing bulky headphones. The world was a much better place when the Walkman was king.

For those of you that were not aware, the rent is too damn high. Don't believe me? Ask this guy...

The World Series starts this week, did any of you know that? I know, who knew?! Turns out, the Texas Rangers and the San Francisco Giants not only are real baseball teams, but they are playing for the World Series title. Actually, I'm really happy for both teams and would have to say that I am rooting for the Texas Rangers. Something tells me though that this isn't the dream match up that both Fox and MLB were hoping for...

Again, these are just the tip of the news iceberg right now, but thought I would do my best to keep you informed. Don't forget to book your trip to Washington D.C. for this Saturday to attend the Rally to Restore Sanity with Jon Stewart. This is exactly what this country needs right now, a little sanity! I'm just saying...

Politically correct or bust?

2010-10-22T14:47:00.002-04:00

As I'm sure many of you have heard, Juan Williams, former reporter for NPR, was fired on Wednesday for a comment he made while on the O'Reilly Factor on Fox News regarding Muslims. On Monday, O'Reilly asked Williams if there is a "Muslim dilemma" in the United States. Williams, a longtime Fox News contributor, agreed with O'Reilly that such a thing exists, and added that "political correctness can lead to some kind of paralysis where you don't address reality."

"I mean, look, Bill, I'm not a bigot," Williams continued. "You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

Now, tell me, is that a case where someone stepped over the line and said something that isn't politically correct? Should this have been a fireable offense? Is this much ado about nothing? Where do you stand on this? My take is this, I mean, I like Juan Williams, I think he is good. He has always appeared to be a pretty middle of the road guy, seeing both sides to everything. Should he have been fired, hell no, I don't think so. Was what he said right? I mean, I guess that is a feeling shared by a lot of people. Do I think it's right, no, not at all. Honestly, it bothers me that people feel that way. The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, killing 2,402 people and injuring another 1,282, but are you scared every time you see someone of Japanese descent? No, not at all. So why are we blanketly blaming all Muslims for September 11th?

I guess what bothers me about all of this is that we are blaming NPR for everything. Again, shame on them for firing Williams, that wasn't necessary. What I don't think is right though is that we are ignoring the major issue here, which is our intolerance of people different than us. Why do we still have this much hate and fear in our hearts over people that don't look or think like us? If it isn't Muslims then it is gay people. It's always someone or something we are intolerant of. What happened to liberty and justice for all? I'm just saying...

Are we all doomed, or is this just our "awkward phase"?

2010-10-21T11:38:00.003-04:00

It's pretty hard to deny that we, in the United States, are all going a bit crazy. Reality television, constant media "news" outlets and our love of all things celebrity have gotten, let's be honest, a little out of hand. Suddenly everyone is crying that they are losing their First Amendment rights and we are suing everyone for little to no reason at all. At what point do we realize we have turned into a giant, never ending episode of The Jerry Springer Show? I mean, seriously, what gives? Musicians are nuts, politicians are bat shit insane, athletes do whatever the hell they want, and the rest of us follow their every move. What the hell is wrong with us, all of us?

Those examples are national, stupid shit isn't happening right here in Maine, is it? Well, I'm afraid it is...

A Hermon High School student was just expelled from school for penning a rap song, to the beat of an Eminem song, that was full of poop mouthery and even called out school employees by name. Some are claiming that the lyrics are even threatening. Now, I haven't heard this sure to be number 1 gem, but methinks it was a dumb idea in the first place. The student is claiming the school is not allowing him to exercise his First Amendment rights, claiming it is free speech. I would say this in response: kid, you're an idiot! I have no problem with him doing it, feel free. Just don't be surprised when your school, the target of your rap, hears it and expels you. Put it this way, if you wrote a rap song about your employers and called out co-workers and ownership by name, are they going to give you a raise, or will they move your office to the basement and take away your stapler? Long story short, don't be dumb.

Portland High School has banned "grinding" from all future dances, and students are pissed about it. Many students are planning to boycott the dances because, well, they say grinding is the only way they know how to dance. First of all, sweet jesus, are you serious? Let's get one thing straight, I'm not a future candidate for Dancing With the Stars, mainly because I'm not a star, but also because I can't dance, but to boycott a dance because you can't drive your male pelvic region into a lady friends ass is crazy! Perhaps part of their curriculum should be actual dance lessons?!

Those are just a couple of local examples of the silliness that is happening all around us. In other words, we really need to take a minute and get our collective shit together! Remember when we were a super power in the world? Yeah, people think we are a joke now. I say we stop giving lunatics their 15 minutes of fame, end the frivolous lawsuits and sit back and enjoy a nice cold beer. It'll make the world a better place. I'm just saying...

Woooaahhh! Easy killer...

2010-10-20T12:33:00.002-04:00

For those of you who have spent the last couple of months living under your favorite rock, we are two weeks away from electing a new governor in Maine. Nichole and I have both been very involved in the Eliot Cutler campaign, volunteering as much time as we can. It took me a long time to have any interest in politics at all, and it seems as though I am slightly obsessed at this point. I've learned how everything done by our government not only affects me, but also my daughter. I've also learned that people are extremely passionate about politics, to the point of being completely insane! The following is an actual exchange on Facebook between two guys I don't know, a woman I don't know and myself. Please note that no matter what candidate you are voting for, she is crazy!

Martin Bumann: OH, JUST IN CASE PEOPLE HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS...I THOUGHT I'D SHARE ONCE AGAIN!! NOW, HOW WILL THE LIBERAL MEDIA OUTLETS TRY TO SPIN THIS IN LIBERAL MITCHELLS FAVOR,UNLIKE AN OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENT MADE BY MAYOR LEPAGE??? THE HYPOCRICY ON THE LEFT IS DISGUSTING A...ND QUITE FRANKLY DANGEROUS TO AMERICA!!! WAKE UP FOLKS, WE NEED POSITIVE CHANGE NOT MORE OF THE SAME !!

Mark Stevens: Martin, have you got a short attention span? LePage has said one thing after another that are rather unfavorable. I'm NOT defending Mitchell, but you can't ignore things on one side and get all angry when the other side does the same thing. I would dare define that as hypocrisy, no?!

Jim Marandola: Mark.... You said "LePage has said one thing after another that are rather unfavorable." I'm just curious as to what some of those things might be. I know about his statement regarding what future headlines might look like....but I'm curious as to what other things he has said that are unfavorable.

Martin Bumann: Jim, He can't come up with any.Maybe the things the dems don't agree with are rather unfavorable to them,they are kinda' selfish creatures

Mark Stevens: Jeez guys, sorry i didn't respond to your questions sooner, I've been volunteering all day. Jim, I seem to remember LePage saying something like "let's cut the bullshit". I would say that is unfavorable by a gubernatorial candidate. Or how about when LePage said he "wants to punch AJ Higgins"? Joke or not, again, unfavorable. And, of course, his comment that he would be telling "Obama to go to hell". Once again, unfavorable. It's time to stop wearing blinders and realize that your top guy is FAR from perfect. He makes you all warm and fuzzy because he angrily shakes his fist about reducing the size of governent, which he WILL NOT do, he will just reduce the stuff he doesn't like, while increasing it in other areas he does want. His promises to the various special interest groups do NOTHING to lower the budget shortfall, they will actually make things worse. And please explain to me how his plan to sue the US Govt to repeal universal healthcare will help my brother in law, who has a pre existing condition? Preaching anger will accomplish nothing and will put us further behind after 4 years then any of the other candidates would.

Sarah S. Pearce: And what Cutler wants is ok? He is associated with the WORSE president (so far) in history. Anyone that wants that belongs in a straightjacket.
I know passion is foreign to most democrats. but it's what made this country great.

Mark Stevens: Eliot Cutler plans on going over the budget, line by line to determine where we are spending wastefully. He plans on changing the culture of the spend now, figure out how to pay later way of thinking that has been happening for some time now. He plans to work with both sides of the aisle, without the special interest promises, to create a climate where businesses not only want to come to Maine, but they thrive. Oh, and he will get this all done without angrily shaking his fist and spewing rhetoric at every turn. He plans on turning around our education system, so our children realize you should have said "WORST", not "WORSE". He will be willing and excited to take input from both Democrats and Republicans and make Maine the state we all know it is capable of.

And Sarah, there is a difference between passion and anger.

Sarah S. Pearce: Plans! Grand plans! Jimmy Carter had plans, too! Obama has plans! There is a reason people go by actions, not words. Plans don't mean crap when coming from a politician, ANY politician.
As for WORSE, excuse me for the typo, some of us work for a living and are exhaused.

Mark Stevens: You do realize that at this point all they can have are plans, right? None of them are actually the governor, so plans are what we voters are listening for to determine who we think would be the right person to vote for. Once Eliot gets elected, he will put his current plans into action and we will all benefit from it.

Oh, and thanks for that attempted work jab, but I put in 60 plus hours a week at several jobs, volunteer and spend time with my family, don't talk to me about being exhausted.

Sarah S. Pearce: Actually, Mark, if your head were screwed on straight you would remember that Paul LePage has the most experience in this area.
Why do you need several jobs, Mark? Maybe because democrats like Cutler have taxed us to death?

Sarah S. Pearce: Got a theme song for old Ellie...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmUJcxto5N8

Mark Stevens: Most experience in what area, making plans? I thought they were crap coming from politicians?! LePage has created what, about one hundred low paying jobs at Marden's? With little to no benefits, right? His own employees need to go to the state for help. His own employees are the very people that he wants to "put on a bus to Massachusetts". Jeez, can't wait for him to provide more of that for the good people of Maine, that'll make us a better state.

And I choose to work several jobs because I enjoy the work, the social aspect and the extra money to provide for my family. Taxes have absolutely nothing to do with it, and when exactly has Cutler "taxed us to death"?

Sarah S. Pearce: I said Democrats like Cutler, little man. I see you are jealous of Paul... thats ok, most democrats are. Boy are you gonna be ticked that first tuesday evening in november!
I know you don't read real news, or you wouldn't be a Cutler brownnoser, but Paul is mayor of Waterville...ever heard of it?

Sarah S. Pearce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do08knSeUyM

Mark Stevens: Oh, here comes the sarcasm and continued posting of links, fun!

Cutler joined the race as an Independent and is the only one of the top three polling that would be able to work with both sides of the aisle in Augusta. He brings more experience and knowledge to the table than LePage, and has the temperament to get things done without flipping his lid when something doesn't go his way.

Have you noticed that Cutler has been running a clean campaign, with no party spending thousands to back him? LePage and Mitchell can't say the same thing. Cutler is focusing his time and energy traversing the state, meeting people and getting his message out, not throwing mud at his competition.

Jim Marandola: Worked great for Angus King....... He basically got NOTHING accomplished except to let the Democrats continue to run the state into the ground...Oh, and of course the "lost money" in the budget.

Jim Marandola: And BTW, Mark..... Once again you have misquoted the "go to hell" statement and your "Joke or not" comment, in my opinion, is "unfavorable". You see...whether or not a comment is "unfavorable" or not, depends on the attitude of THE LISTENER.........NOT the person making the comment. You find these THREE examples as "unfavorable" because you don't support LePage. I find Eliot Cutler "unfavorable" because he has spent the last decade working with countries OVERSEAS (like COMMUNIST CHINA) to help THEIR economies while killing AMERICAN jobs..........if you really want to get into "cutting the bullshit". He has a LOT of nerve even asking for American votes.See More

Jim Marandola: Here's a nice little QUOTE from Eliot Cutler from an article in Reuters in 2007:
Cutler said that: "China suffers from a too small and too weak central government."

THAT is position that most people would find hard to believe. JUST the type of thinking we want in a state that is already to bogged down with regulations and government intrusion. If he thinks that RED CHINA doesn't have enough government regulation....how much does he think is enough?

Sarah S. Pearce: Focused? Cutler? The only thing Cutler is focused on is making money. Cutler himself said over and over that he has NO plan for Maine. He has NO idea what to do, he has NO answers. Don't quote his new "I wanna get elected" website, study the facts.
When he was the OMB's Associate Director his selfish inaction got 39 people killed. He couldn't be bothered to force the dams to get inspected, even after 333 people died. That led to the Kelley Barnes dam in Ga's collapse. You willing to let that kind of man have this state? I am not.

Mark Stevens: Jim, I have not misquoted Lepage. You are trying to spin it my friend, and people are starting to wake up. I don't find them unfavorable because I don't support him, I don't support him because he does and says things that are unfavorable. I want a governor who will not only bring Maine out of the slump we are in and make it thrive, but I also want someone that won't give Maine a black eye for doing and/or saying unfavorable things. Like I have been saying for a while now, I get that people are angry, I'm angry too, but the majority of the population, MANY Republicans included, realize that LePage is one disagreement away from snapping and actually punching somebody. How many times does he need to slip up, appologize, only to slip up again, before you realize he isn't this perfect person you make him out to be?

When has Cutler ever said he has no plans, Sarah? He has said he is making no PROMISES to special interests. There is a big difference. If memory serves, which it does, LePage has made at least a couple of promises that will actually drive the deficit even further into the red. And to say Cutler is responsible for anyones death is absolutely absurd. Dial back the anger and hate, it's going to be alright, I promise.

Sarah S. Pearce: Wow Mark. What flavor was that koolaid? I am sorry you are so misled.
I do give you props for having the balls to lie on the internet. Or are you just a moron?
P.S. There is nothing wrong for standing up for your beliefs. I know it's foreign to a Democrat, but republicans do it all the time.

Mark Stevens: Well Sarah, I love a good back and forth, but when the personal attacks start, that's when I draw the line. I would love to say it was great talking to you, but I wouldn't want to actually "lie on the internet".

I'm sorry for how long that was, I just really wanted to illustrate how people are passionate about politics, and some are over the top. There was actually more to the back and forth, but I kept it out in order to not make this too long. Something else to keep in mind is that people kind of create things that aren't real to get a point accross sometimes. For example, most of Jim's point about Cutler and China are completely fabricated and untrue.

What makes this world great is that we have different views and ideas. If we all thought the same way, just think about how boring this world would be. That being said, people need to get ahold of themselves! The Portland Press Herald, yesterday, decided to turn off the capability of readers to comment on stories because of heated exchanges, just like some of the things Sarah was saying from above. It's not about Republicans or Democrats, both sides toss out some pretty stupid things. Everybody needs to take a step back and realize we are all working towards the same goal. Nobody is trying to hijack the state or country and turn us into a third world country or burden our grandchildren with more debt than they can ever imagine. That is simply not what is happening here. We are staring at some tough times, and getting out of this mess is going to take some time and some teamwork to make it happen. Both sides need to work together and get past their differences or we are all completely fucked. I'm just saying...

I knew it was bad, but ewwwwww!

2010-10-13T10:21:00.005-04:00

I'm not a big fan of McDonald's. I basically wrote it off after watching "Food, Inc" a few months ago, only having it once since, and even then I think I had a hard time finishing it. Now, I'm officially done. Like, done done. Curious to know why? I know you are, you are just dying to find out, aren't you? Here we go...

Click here and read the caption on the picture to the right? Yup, you are reading that correctly. An artist and photographer from New York City bought a Happy Meal back in April and left it out in her kitchen in an effort to see how it would hold up over time, and by time I mean six months. Turns out not much changes, with the exception of it getting harder over time. The burger and fry have been sitting out, in the open, and have not even grown any mold, none. What?! How is that even possible? In fact, Sally Davies, the woman doing the experiment claims that "the food is plastic to the touch and has an acrylic sheen to it." NASTY!

Now, this isn't shocking news, we all knew McDonald's wasn't good for us, but this brings it to a whole new level for me. When even the bread stays mold free, something is wrong! I've noticed how quickly a loaf of bread made by a local bakery goes bad, and how long a cheap loaf from Wal-Mart lasts, but those are usually left wrapped in plastic. This was left out in the open, and still no mold. That is wrong in so many ways. It must have enough preservatives in it to mummify your insides when you eat it, right? I'm just saying...

Some things that annoy me would be...

2010-10-05T15:08:00.002-04:00

I have been known to get a little worked up on here from time to time. To me, that is alright. It's better for me to get out my anger on here, than, say, punch MPBN reporter AJ Higgins, right? Anyways, here are a few things that are getting me all worked up today...

SunChips are getting rid of their biodegradable bags because customers are complaining that they are too loud. Now, I realize that, as a company that provides a product, it is smart to listen to your customers wants, and as the old saying goes, the customer is always right. Bullshit, they are wrong in this case. Let's ignore the environmental impact because the bag is loud?! Now I can't sneak some without my wife knowing, boohoo. I'm sorry, but bring on the noisy bag, especially if it means less waste in the landfills.

Randy Moss is traded from the New England Patriots to the Minnesota Vikings. Now, that in itself doesn't have me worked up. I mean, I am a bit in shock, I really like Randy Moss, and think he adds a good amount to the offense by opening up the field. His numbers are down this year, and he is unhappy, which we know can spell disaster for Randy, he's done it before in Oakland. What I am worked up about is the New England fans that are now trashing Moss. Through a measly four games, his numbers are down, when compared to past seasons. Moss is a sure fire Hall of Famer. He is still, even at the age of 33, a feared receiver in the NFL. He is always a deep threat and will always get the attention of the best cornerbacks as well as double teams. He opens up the middle of the field for Wes Welker and the rookie tight ends. Fair enough, he didn't help bring a championship to New England, but let's not forget that we just traded one of the best wide receivers of all time away from the team. Let's just hope this doesn't have a negative impact on the offense going forward.

Did you know that nearly 3000 millionaires claimed unemployment benefits in the year 2008? That's right, millionaires filed for unemployment. 2840 of them to be exact. Now, I understand that unemployment benefits are there for anyone that loses their job. I get that. But really? I mean, with so many people on unemployment, and still struggling to pay their bills, it's kind of a slap in the face knowing that millionaires are filing for unemployment compensation as well. Remember, these are the same people enjoying big tax breaks. But no, let's all feel bad for the rich people. Jealous? Maybe, but I still think there should be some sort of cap on who can claim unemployment benefits.

By now, I'm sure you have heard about this church full of idiots that is protesting outside of funerals of fallen soldiers. Talk about the lowest form of scum. They formed protests outside of the funeral of Lance Cpl Matthew Snyder, holding signs that said "Thank God for Dead Soldiers", "You're Going to Hell" and "God Hates the USA." He was killed in a Humvee accident in 2006, and has absolutely no connection to these whackos. Now, the Supreme Court is having a hard time deciding what, if anything, they can do about it. What they are doing is, technically, protected under the First Amendment. What they are doing is also, in my opinion, one of the most ignorant things they could do. I'm getting really sick of people, all of a sudden, using the Constitution to argue their case, especially when they are using it for harm, not good.

These are just a few of the contributing factors to my higher-than-it-should-be blood pressure right now. Of course, the Nick Lachey Burger from Eagle's Deli in Boston surely didn't help my cause, but that is not the point. Now, if the Yankees can lose in the first round, the Miami Heat fall flat on their collective faces and U2 never put out another album, I will be feeling much better! I'm just saying...

Monday is my fun day?!

2010-10-04T11:20:00.002-04:00

Have you ever been so tired you couldn't focus? I don't just mean you had a lack of focus, but you were so tired you kept losing all control of your head and it would free fall towards your desk or keyboard? That's where I'm at today. Fortunately, to this point, I don't have the imprint of a space bar on my forehead, and I haven't impaled myself with my staple remover or pen. It's odd too, since I went to bed a little before 11 last evening, after driving back from the Red Sox final game of the season. It's just one of those days I guess.

Speaking of the game in Boston yesterday, it was bittersweet, to say the least. It was the final game of the season for the Red Sox. They came up short of making the playoffs this year. It was a tough year, losing several key players for extended periods of time as well as getting lackluster performances out of Josh Beckett, John Lackey and Jonathan Papelbon. What was nice about it was that we beat our hated rival, the New York Yankees. Now, the Yankee fans we sat near were a pile of major jerkwads. I'm not saying all Yankee fans are this way, but so many of them have this swagger, one that makes you want to smack them. Now, I'm sure Yankee fans say the same thing about us members of Red Sox Nation, but I don't care about them, ha! It was nice to be able to keep the Yankees from winning the A.L. East Championship, but the "Yankees Suck" chants just aren't the same when they are going to the playoffs and we aren't. Now it's time for all the "experts" to predict what will happen this offseason. I guess I'm a Phillies fan for the rest of this season...

While on the subject of sports in New England, the Patriots play this evening down in Miami, a place they don't typically play well. I've heard a variety of predictions for this game, everything from a win by double digits to a loss by double digits. I'm sort of on the fence on this one. I'm trying not to project this one with my heart, because my heart says the Pats win big, by at least two touchdowns. They have a very dynamic offense with lots of weapons at Tom Brady's disposal. On the other side of the ball, however, they are less than stellar. In fact, the defensive unit scares me, and I don't mean a little. This team needs to outscore the opponent, because the defense isn't stopping even the bad teams (see last weekend against Buffalo as an example). I don't see Miami as a better team as a whole, but I don't see them as a bad team at all. I feel they have an average offense and a better than average defense. Question is, who will control their mistakes on offense better? This could be a shootout with both teams scoring in the 30's. I'm going to go with the Pats on this one, but in a close, barn burner, 37-36. I see Gostkowski making up for a few recent missed kicks by putting one between the uprights to win the game late.

While on the topic of sports, the Second Annual McCullough Polish Horseshoe Tournament was this past Saturday. If you all remember from a previous post, the organizers purposely planned the tourney for the past weekend because they knew Nichole and I couldn't make it. I'm not exactly sure how the first round or two went, but it sounds like Championship scores were 21-19 and 22-20, with both games being won by a 3 point bottle shot. Team Merlotte, comprised of the home team, the McCullough's, picked up their second consecutive championship. Does anyone else find it funny that they host the tourney each year and they have also been the only winners to date? Is it home field advantage or is some sort of cheating going on? We will find out next year when Team Marcole stroll in and take them down. I'm just saying...

Let's lighten things up a little on this dreary Friday...

2010-10-01T09:59:00.002-04:00

The news is horrible right now. So much doom and gloom is being reported. Add to that the crappy weather heading our way thanks to Hurricane Nicole, and there isn't much reason to smile on the New England coast today. The Red Sox have been officially eliminated from playoff contention, after a rather difficult season. The Patriots are in full swing, but face a tough test in Miami, where they always struggle. As the greatest coach in Boston Celtics history (sarcasm), Rick Pitino, once said, the negativity in this town sucks. Let's look at the headlines for something a little less depressing...

U.S. apologizes for syphilis experiment in Guatemala. This is real, I swear. The U.S. government, in the 1940's, deliberately infected Guatemalan prison inmates, women and mental patients with syphilis. Now, 70 years later, whoops, our bad?! Should we send them a card? And does Hallmark make a "sorry about the syphilis" card?

Saving Koalas From Chlamydia. Again, this is real, no joke. Apparently the number of koalas with chlamydia is increasing too. I ask this, how exactly does this happen? Note to self, even though they are cute, don't sleep with a koala.

Dutch outlaw squatting. Apparently this doesn't mean anything even close to what I first thought when I saw the headline. I assumed you weren't allowed to sit while going to the bathroom in the Netherlands, which is an odd thing to outlaw, right? Turns out, it means that you are no longer allowed to move into an abandoned building and call it yours. Wait, people were allowed to do that? Talk about cheap office space for your new marijuana cafe! Unfortunately, I missed the bus on that one.

Greg Giraldo dies at 44; quit law to become a stand-up comic. No jokes here, this is actually sad. He was a really funny guy, appearing on the celebrity roasts on Comedy Central, among many other places. He graduated from Columbia University and got a law degree from Harvard. Dude wasn't just funny, he was smart. Turns out, he hated law, and made a much better comedian. Another great comedian taken too soon from a drug overdose, why can't we lose Carrot Top or Andy Dick instead?

That's about all I've got for today. Weekend is upon us, and it is a crazy one. Early mornings, late nights, Red Sox vs Yankees at Fenway and another trip to Eagle's Deli should provide me with a story or two for next week. Have a great weekend all. I'm just saying...

I have a poop mouth, but I'm not running for Governor...

2010-09-30T10:29:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to play that whole holier than though crap, I won't do it. I have what I would call a poop mouth. I curse like a trucker, I'm not going to lie about it. If I had to put a quarter in a swear jar after each time I tossed out a bad word, I'd be adding about $15.00 a week I bet. That being said, it doesn't really matter how much I swear, I'm not running for Governor. Which reminds me, there is one guy running for Governor in Maine, and he may swear more than me, and, to me, that is kind of a big deal.

Paul LePage ran away from home at the age of 11 and lived on the streets of Lewiston. He worked a variety of odd jobs, basically taking care of himself. He later went to Husson College, graduating with a B.S. in Business Administration and later earned an MBA from the University of Maine. He is currently the Mayor of Waterville and the General Manager of Marden's, a surplus and salvage store with 14 locations in Maine. Now add to that running for Governor of Maine. While he started out as a street kid, he is far from those days today. However, he still considers himself a street kid, and has the mouth of one to boot. It all started a few weeks back when LePage got annoyed by a question that was asked of him by a reporter at a press conference. "Let's stop the bullshit" was the first hit song on his greatest hits album, coming out in November. Now, despite an actual video of the exchange, he later told Howie Carr it never happened. Oh, a liar and a poop mouth artist!

His second single from the previously mentioned greatest hits album came out on Sunday. While speaking to a group of lobstermen in Mid Coast Maine, he said that "you're going to see a lot of me on the front page saying "Governor LePage tells Obama to go to hell.". Now, spin that any way you want to, but he clearly said he plans on telling President Obama to go to hell. Oh good! I don't want to hear about how citizens said that and worse about President Bush, you are comparing apples to oranges. For me to say that about President Bush is one thing. For someone running for public office, it's a different animal all together. If you don't have respect for the man, fine, but have respect for the position, regardless of who it is. Or, here's a crazy thought, just keep that thought to yourself.

The newest single to come out is brand new, and another good one! While speaking to Jennifer Rooks on Maine Watch, Jennifer informs LePage that there are a couple of radio reporters that want to speak with him after she is done and he says that he doesn't want to talk to them. After hearing who they are, he proceeds to say that he "is about ready to punch A.J. Higgins". Now, he may have been joking, maybe not. I'm not sure. He is grinning, but that could mean many things. Either way, as a gubernatorial candidate, don't say you are about ready to punch anybody, even if you are joking!

Now, perhaps it's obvious I am not a fan of LePage at this point. If it wasn't obvious, let me be the first to tell you, I'm NOT A FAN of Paul LePage. I think he would make Maine the butt of many jokes on The Daily Show or Letterman with his repeated outbursts and poorly worded comments. I realize that many Mainers are upset with the way things have been going on in Augusta, hell, I'm mad. Spending has been out of control. Taxes are high. It's next to impossible to start a business here with the high energy and health care costs. I completely understand why people are mad, but that doesn't mean we need a poop mouth blowhard. There isn't a snowballs chance in hell he could bring both Democrats and Republicans together to work on anything. That is the biggest issue for me here. In this political climate, there is a lot of hate for the other side going on. We need to put that shit behind us and work together if we want to make Maine the way life should be. I'm just saying...

And the winner is...

2010-09-29T09:56:00.002-04:00

TEAM MARCOLE! What did we win you ask? Well, let me tell you what we won. Nothing. Not yet at least. See, there is a big Polish Horseshoe tournament at Camp McCullough each fall. We were unable to make it last year due to a scheduling conflict. This work out well for Team McCullough, as they were able to win the first annual tourney. This year we had high hopes of going up to show the "competition" exactly how to play. However, as luck would have it, the organizers decided to schedule it on a weekend we were unable to attend once again. Now, I'm not saying that people need to schedule things around our busy lives, but something tells me they did this on purpose. Hey, if Team Marcole isn't there, everyone else has a chance to win. Otherwise, it's a forgone conclusion who the winner is.

Now, some of you may be asking what Polish Horseshoes is in the first place. It is, quite possibly, the best outdoor drinking game around right now. Let me explain. Take two stakes, or ski poles, and place them about 20 feet apart. Place and empty beer, or soda for you non drinkers, bottle on top of the stakes. Using teams of two on each side, toss a Frisbee at the opposing stake and bottle. You are trying to knock the bottle down, either by hitting it directly or by hitting the stake. The team on defense must be holding a bottle in one hand at all times, and is trying to keep the bottle from hitting the ground, as well as the Frisbee. Hitting the bottle directly and knocking it to the ground awards you 2 points, hitting the stake and knocking the bottle to the ground awards you 1 point. If you miss the Frisbee, the team throwing the Frisbee earns 1 point as well. Keep in mind, all this must be done with a beverage in your hand. Now, it doesn't need to one of the alcoholic variety, but to make it a drinking game, it probably should be! When do you drink you ask? Simple, you take a drink for each point the other team gets. The longer you play, the more interesting it gets.

Now, back to the tournament. Like I said, I'm pretty sure it was specifically chosen for this weekend to keep Nichole and I out. I smell fear in the opponents, and this keeps them safe, if only for one more year. Nichole and I are foaming at the mouth at the idea of taking everyone down. We are going to start a run, much like the UCLA Bruins men's basketball team of the late 60's and early 70's, or my beloved Boston Celtics back in the late 50's and late 60's. Practice up guys, we are coming for you next year! I'm just saying...

It's time for people to start caring, and to wear pants...

2010-09-28T12:43:00.002-04:00

Sunday was the day for the statewide Coastal Cleanup. As many of you know, Nichole and I have been volunteering for the Eliot Cutler campaign, and through the campaign we signed up to take part in Coastal Cleanup Day. Our area was determined to be Back Cove in Portland, which worked out perfectly considering we had a soccer game right there a little later in the morning. We arrive as everyone is dispersing to their respective area around Back Cove, collect our trash bags and rubber gloves and dig right in.

Now, I've done this sort of thing before, and no, it wasn't for mandatory community service or because I was wearing a jump suit. Back in high school I did this fairly regularly with different organizations in town. This time was a little different than the others. Kerrigan was with us, which was a good experience for her, although, she used it mostly as a chance to collect some shells, cool rocks and de-leg some dead crabs she found. It was a bit of an eye opener for Nichole and I as well. I learned a few things about people by picking up trash and other items...

People have no problem throwing their trash out their car window!

People eat a lot of Little Debbie snacks!

A ton of people actually smoke on Back Bay?!

I can't tell you how many snack wrappers we found, it was crazy! The most popular Little Debbie snack appears to be Star Crunch, surprisingly enough. I didn't see that coming, but according to what y'all toss out your window or sneakily snack on as you walk Back Cove, it's very true. There were also a ton of Hannaford and CVS receipts. The former made sense, being right there, but the latter surprised me a little, based on how far away it is. Speaking of Hannaford, we also found a good number of the Great Grocery Giveaway scratch tickets they handed out this summer. You know what I'm talking about, those little scratch ticket like thingamabobs that were impossible to win on. I kid you not, we scratched off 50 one days and one $1. One freaking dollar!

Some other things I found were two hypodermic needles. Now, I'm going to assume they were for insulin purposes, not for something else, but I wish those using them could find a better place for them. I'm not sure tossing them onto the ground is the best answer. We found a couple of, what appeared to be, used condoms. Now, let me tell you something, it was every bit as gross as you would imagine. I'm not sure if they were, in fact, used, but they were rolled out and stuck to rocks, which was just awesome. Note to the person having sex on the Back Cove, please don't. I mean, good job wrapping it up, but could you not go to your apartment, or even stay in your car? I don't want to have to pick up your dried up swimmers again, not cool! Now, maybe it was the same people, but I also found 3 pairs of pants, a shirt and a pair of socks, right nearby. Perhaps they are all connected, perhaps not. Either way, who loses their pants? To the people or person who went streaking at Back Cove, I found your missing clothes.

Like I said, this was an eye opening experience. I was surprised at the amount of trash, and what made it up. For an area that is known for it's running trails and soccer field, it was shocking to find that many snack wrappers and ciggy butts. People need to be more aware of where they are putting their garbage. I would be more than happy to take part in this great event every year, but I would love it if this sort of event wasn't necessary. Please, just take a second to toss things into a garbage can, or keep a bag in your car to put trash in, it's pretty easy. Oh, and to the kind person who didn't clean up your dog's shit, thanks, as if my shoes didn't smell bad enough already! I'm just saying...

In this case, 5 is equal to 1...

2010-09-21T16:35:00.003-04:00

You may read the title of this post and think to yourself, wait, what?! Fair enough, I expect that. In fact, I figure it is odd enough to get you to start reading down through to figure out how someone who counts beans for a living can say 5 is equal to 1. Hear me out, it will all come together soon enough...

We are six short weeks away from determining who the next Governor of our great state will be. There will be 5 names showing up on every ballot this year, Paul LePage (R), Elizabeth "Libby" Mitchell (D), Eliot Cutler (I), Kevin Scott (I) and Shawn Moody (I). All five of these individuals have been traversing the state in an effort to get their face and name in front of everyone in hopes of being elected in November. In a normal election year, things would be heating up right about now, as we have election day within our sites. This isn't a normal year though. There is a lot at stake in Maine. We are facing record budget deficits, continued high unemployment and high tax levels. We are having a difficult time encouraging new business and our education system needs attention. Our roads are some of the worst in the country, and there is a major disconnect between southern and northern Maine. Let's be honest, the next Governor has his/her hands full, to say the least.

I'm a registered Democrat, and typically follow party lines. I say typically because there are times when I think another candidate makes more sense, other than one in my own party. Libby Mitchell, the Democrat in the race for the Blaine House is a life long politician. She has a ton of political experience to draw from, and surely has the skills necessary to do the job. However, she has been in a position of power for a long time, and during that time we have seen too much go wrong in Augusta. I fear a vote for Mitchell is a vote for four more years of the same thing we have already seen. On the other side of the aisle is Paul LePage. His story is nice, having come from nothing and turned things around. That's pretty much where the story ends for me. I think LePage would be like going from one extreme to the other, and I'm not sure his temperament or his radical Tea Party desires are a good thing for Maine either. Shawn Moody is a hard working businessman. However, running the state of Maine is much different than owning and operating auto body shops. I think this would be way too much of a pill for him to swallow. Kevin Scott might be a great option, but he doesn't stand a chance, so it's really a wasted vote.

That brings us to Eliot Cutler. I've been intrigued by Mr. Cutler from early on. He has a great mix of political and professional experience. His core values are very much in line with mine, and he has put forth a great plan for getting Maine back on track. He takes a hard stance on some tough issues, like education and welfare reform, but they are a couple of big ticket items that need to be worked on. I've been fortunate enough to meet Eliot and many of the great people that are working behind the scenes for him. Nichole and I have even done some volunteering for his campaign, hoping to spread the word about who we believe is the best person in the race. I urge you, regardless of what party you are a part of, to check out Eliot's website. It is a great way to find out more about his vision and plans.

The next 10 years are critical to the state of Maine, and making the right choice for governor is a vitally important first step. I urge everyone to do their homework, get out and meet the candidates, ask questions and get involved. Let's work together to make Maine the way life should be. I'm just saying...

Are you gaga for Gaga?

2010-09-20T10:24:00.002-04:00

Lady Gaga is apparently hanging out in Portland today, headlining a rally at Deering Oaks Park regarding the repealing of Don't Ask Don't Tell. Democrats are working to repeal DADT, while John McCain and his fellow Republicans are working to keep it on the books by threatening a filibuster. Maine Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins are seen as extremely important votes for the Democrats, so Lady Gaga is hoping to influence them by appearing in Portland today. What sort of crowd will show up? Will the park be full of tweens and screaming young girls that love "Poker Face" or "Alejandro", or will supporters of this cause be on hand to help encourage Snowe and Collins? Should be an interesting afternoon in Deering Oaks park.

Now, on the subject of Don't Ask Don't Tell, I read the article in the Portland Press Herald regarding Lady Gaga coming to town. Basic story, giving some information that would be helpful to the reader. Then, as usual, I scroll down to read the comments and BLAM! It appears that gay bashing is still alive and well in Maine, oh good. What the hell is wrong with people. If a perfectly able bodied gay man or woman wants to serve in the military, why should anybody stop them? In the year 2010, we should not be arguing about such things, it should not even be a story. If someone is willing to die for their country, why does it matter what color their skin is, what their sexual preference is or what church they go to? It does not matter, plain and simple. I'm just saying...

Hey everybody, come join the party!

2010-09-17T09:51:00.002-04:00

Are you getting tired of the squabbling between Republicans and Democrats? Do you, like me, think that the Tea Party gang are a bunch of loons? Would you like to see things different in Washington? Well have I got something for you. Come join me and my newly created Keg Party! We aren't going to make signs comparing Obama to Hitler, that is just dumb. We aren't going to have rallies led by Glenn Beck asking to restore religion, that is something that should be left to each individual to decide. We aren't going to deny everything that isn't our idea, and when we say we are speaking for the majority, we will actually talk TO the majority of people, not just talk FOR them.

So, why is it called the Keg Party you ask. Simple. We will be meeting in pubs, pool halls and at parties. We will be hanging out with common, everyday American citizens across this fine country. No more town halls or rolling rallies. I want us to come together for a common goal, in our favorite environment, enjoying our favorite past time, drinking beer. I understand that there is a fundamental difference in views between Republicans and Democrats, but there is something we can all agree on, and that is moving this country forward to becoming the powerhouse it should be. We want jobs for everyone, health insurance that is affordable, housing that won't break us and a good future for our children. It doesn't matter what side of the political spectrum you are on, these are basic desires by all. Granted, most people see different ways of getting there, but we at the Keg Party will work with all Americans to figure out how to make this possible.

We will be meeting every day, at happy hour, at your local watering hole. You don't need to bring signs or wear goofy Statue of Liberty costumes. We are all patriotic, we all believe the United States of America to be the greatest country in the land, or we wouldn't be here. You don't need to bring a megaphone, we won't be burning copies of any holy book, and we want nothing to do with Sarah Palin. What we will be doing is drinking beer, be it good or bad beer, and discussing, civilly, the best way to move forward, as a cohesive unit. If you want to wear one of those funny beer helmets, that will be acceptable. Shots of Jaeger can be consumed at the bartender's discretion.

The Keg Party concept will be sweeping the nation quickly, so now is the time to get on board. Be one of the founding members of this great organization. I look forward to seeing you all out, drinking beer, making friends and having a good time. Remember, it's important to keep in mind that we are a peaceful, fun loving group. We don't want radical lunatics like Glenn Beck in our midst, so if someone gets boisterous, feel free to toss them out on their ass, they are unwanted. The Keg Party will drink beer, work together, and make this nation the best damn place in the world. I'm just saying...

So much catching up to do, where do I even begin?!

2010-09-13T11:47:00.001-04:00

I spent much of last weekend thinking about where I would go with the blog come Monday morning. I mean, I just finished up a week and a half of vacation, and the stories, they are a plentiful. I went to a wedding in Fort Kent on Saturday, followed by another wedding in Old Orchard Beach on Sunday. I spent a couple of nights with old friends in a house that was clearly stuck in 1972, drinking until long after bed time. I partied on the pier in OOB with a wide array of people looking on like we were crazy, what with our wedding attire on still. I spent several days in the quiet, picturesque woods at camp, getting away from everything. I heard what may be the worst best man speech ever, lasting a painful 25 minutes, where the culprit picked on both the bride and groom and made EVERYONE in the room a little uncomfortable. Our softball team came up just short in the championship game, and our soccer team won its first game, all with me playing goalie. Like I said, I have so much I could talk about, but I'm taking this in a different direction...

It's the end of an era. The Jetta and I have a long and checkered past. I bought it back in 2001 with a mere 3,000 miles on it. It was the car I always wanted. Being a raging hippy at the time, a VW was tops on my list. Because it was technically used, I got it for just a couple thousand more than anyone in their right mind would have ever spent on it. The car was great, heated leather seats, a moon roof, 6 disk cd changer, and enough pep to cruise past most other cars. I was wicked stoked to drive her off the lot. Quickly though, I started to second guess myself...

I don't think I had the car for a month yet and realized I never got a spare key. For anyone with one of those fancy new fangled cars, you know, the ones that have keys that need to be programmed, they don't come free, and they are far from cheap. After dickering with the dealer for a bit on how much it would cost me for a spare key, I paid above retail for a new pair of keys that they didn't take the damn time to program for me. I might not have ever known this if it weren't for a drunken night out on the town of Presque Isle where I was convinced I lost my keys. Turns out they were jammed in an ex's purse for a few days, just long enough for me to have to sell a kidney and have a bottle drive to raise the necessary funds for a new key. One late night I had a hankering for a hot chocolate and a Little Debbie Fudge Round so I headed down to the local 24-hour Irving in the middle of a wicked cold snap up in friendly Fort Fairfield. When I went to get back into the Jetta from a quick stop into the local ATM, the car wouldn't start. Because the dealer didn't program the key, it killed the computer, leaving my car useless, on Main Street in the middle of the night. AWESOME!

Living in Fort Fairfield was not convenient when the car needed to go to the dealer, and in the first year, that was often. If memory serves me correctly, that wonderful car was towed to Bangor at least 3 times for different things, thank god all under warranty. It was much easier to frequent the dealership in Falmouth once I moved south in 2002, and I did just that. I'll never forget the day I was washing the dishes in my old apartment in New Gloucester during an ice storm when I heard a very large tree branch snap and then hit metal. I remember the panic that came over me as I realized that it could very well be the sound of a large branch hitting my car. Oh, I was right. I giant portion of the tree that stood over the driveway landed on the roof of my car, creating many a dent and pushing my sunroof into the car, amazingly not breaking the glass. For that I got an increased auto insurance policy and I drove around a Toyota Camry for about a month.

Now, for all the bitching I just did, and believe me, I've bitched about that car for 9 years, I have to admit that I got a little emotional last night as I cleaned it up, and again this morning as I washed it for its potential sale this evening. I've had that car in my life longer than both Kerrigan and Nichole. It's seen many moves, lots of trips up and down the Interstate and a couple of tickets. Despite all the complaining she has been a pretty good car. Hell, most everything on it is new at this point, and it's only had about 2,000 miles put on it in the past 3 years. After driving it to the gas station last night I had a few thoughts about keeping it after all. But alas, the Jetta is up for sale. It's been sitting in our driveway, unused, for long enough. It's running like a champ and is going for cheap, so bring your cash and take good care of my baby. Sniffle. I'm just saying...

I promised myself I would let it go, but I can't...

2010-09-01T10:37:00.003-04:00

Last night, President Obama had a nationally televised address to announce that we were ending our combat mission in Iraq. The process of bringing our troops home to their families has begun. The violence is not over, but we have done all we can to assist the Iraq government, and it's time to come home. This is a promise Obama made during his campaign in 2008, and he is making it happen. Life is good, right? Well, that depends on who you ask.

As I typically do, I've read a variety of stories, and watched a few different news shows, and yes, I watched Fox News to get the "unbiased" information too. Some people are celebrating the move, others are finding reasons to use the move against the president. Somebody please help me with something, I'm failing to find anything negative here. How, after losing nearly 5,000 brave men and women over the past 7 years, can we say anything negative about ending the combat mission in Iraq? Do we want to continue to have more people injured, we are already over 31,500 soldiers that have been injured? Someone, please straighten me out, clearly I'm missing the point.

He are my thoughts. Obama can't do anything right in some people's eyes. If he does what everybody wants, he should have done it sooner. In this case, he is bringing troops home, where they can be reunited with their families, but that isn't good enough because the VA's aren't properly staffed and the conditions aren't good enough. But the conditions in Iraq were pristine? If we properly staff the VA hospitals will that be another case of the government trying to get bigger and take over our lives? Should Obama have forgotten about his campaign promise, one that helped him get elected in the first place?

On a day that we should be celebrating the great work done by our courageous troops, as well as the decision to bring them home, we are tossing verbal jabs around as if somebody made a joke about someones momma. The truth of the matter is this, we, as a nation, cannot thank our troops enough for all they have done. They fight, literally, every day to keep us safe, and there are not enough thanks to go around. Now, as a nation, we need to come together and stop all the idiotic rhetoric about birth certificates, socialism, communism, Marxism and any other -isms that are being tossed around. We need to move beyond fighting about skin color, religious beliefs and sexual preference and work together to make this country a better place. I'm just saying...

To grow or not to grow, why is there even a question?

2010-08-26T10:59:00.002-04:00

Maine has long been a vacation destination due to it's picturesque coastline, quaint little towns and small town feel. People love to leave the city for a week, or even a long weekend, to get away from the hustle and bustle and relax in a quiet Maine town. I mean, I understand, I get it, that's why I live here myself. I love that we aren't littered with one giant strip mall after another like many other states. All that being said, at what point do we forget about all that and welcome new business to our small towns? Is all business good business? Or are we only interested in sticking to the quaint, small town feel?

Recently a proposal to build a McDonald's on 302 in Bridgton was brought to the town. Many part-time residents with vacation homes in Bridgton, retirees settling in town and those worried about the impact of chains on local business are very much against the golden arches moving in. They worry that the small town feel will be disrupted, that there would be too much trash thrown out windows, and that people's waistlines will grow, with nothing real positive in return. People on the other side welcome the 40 jobs promised and the tax dollars that would be generated.

I ask you, where do you stand on this subject? I side on adding McDonald's to the landscape in Bridgton. I mean, I don't eat McDonald's, I could care less about the actual food aspect of it. What I do like about the idea though is the jobs it would create. Most jobs are only part time and offer no benefits you say. True, you are right, these aren't high paying jobs, but you know what, it's better than 40 people on unemployment, costing the state more money, right? It would also bring some tax revenue into the state, which is never a bad thing.

It really comes down to one thing. Do we want to continue to keep Maine small, quaint and free of chain's and strip malls? If so, at what cost? I'm 100% behind the small mom and pop stores, in fact, I prefer them. But, we can't be afraid of growth or change. We need to start to encourage businesses to come to this state, not scare them away. We wonder why young people finish high school and/or college and leave the state, but the answer is right in front of us. We continuously resist new business ventures and job creating ideas like casinos or chain stores. It's easy to blame politicians for not creating new jobs, but it's time for us to start looking in the mirror.

Remember when Hooter's wanted to open a chain in the Old Port district and the City Council nixed it because they didn't want to allow chains? I mean, forget that Hooter's average sales per location is over $2 million annually, or that there is already a Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts and Subway. Or how about when Wal-Mart stirred controversy in the midcoast in 2006 as Damariscotta and Newcastle adopted size caps and Nobleboro approved a moratorium to keep the retailer out. I'm not advocating for more McDonald's, Wal-Marts or Hooters, that isn't my point. What I'm getting at is that Maine needs these jobs. We need the tax revenue. We start by adding some chains, then work on getting employers that offer better wages. Maine needs to be an enticing place for business, not the opposite. We need to keep young people in the state, not raise them here and send them off to do great things in every state but ours. I'm just saying...

I've seen a lot, but this is a first...

2010-08-19T10:14:00.006-04:00

I've been to a decent amount of Red Sox games. I've been to Opening Day. I've been to a playoff game. I was at Manny's last game. I was at the game before Buchholz threw a no-hitter. I saw Nick Green hit a walk off homerun in extra innings. I've seen fights, players ejected, been down on the field and had pictures taken with ownership and players. I've seen a lot. A rain delay was not something I had ever been a part of, until last night.

As we do each year, we won tickets through Big Brothers Big Sisters and the annual Bowl For Kids Sake fundraiser we participate in. One of the games we recieved tickets for was for the game yesterday against the Seattle Mariners. We had been rather excited about it for a while, looking forward to the chance to head down to historic Fenway with some friends. We were able to pick up an extra ticket and bring down my daughter, which she was super excited about. Nichole and I each took a half day at work, and our friend Casey came down from Bangor to go with us. We loaded up the car around 2:00 and were on our way.

Red Hook was our dining destination of choice, where we grabbed a couple of beverages and some fine cuisine before getting back on the highway. We pulled into Sullivan Square shortly after 6:00 PM and made our way to Kenmore Square just before game time. It's been raining lightly since we've been in town, but it's never been a hard rain. We are hopeful that the game will happen as scheduled, but nobody seems to know for sure. We hang out in front of Cask-n-Flagon, hoping to catch a glimpse of a television that will give us some insight on what is happening inside the gates of Fenway. We can see that the tarp is on the field, but still no word on whether or not the game is going to happen or not. Still unsure, we head to Jerry Remy's eatery on the backside of Fenway Park to meet up with buddy Jay and his lady friend. After purchasing a $6.75 Bud Light, which is highway robbery, by the way, we see POSTPONED pop up on the television screen.

That was probably the longest drive I have ever taken for a beer. It was probably the most expensive beer I have ever had before too. Gas, tolls, parking, dinner, snacks and the extra ticket were all purchased so that we could drive to Boston to have a Bud Light, great investment, right?! So now, here we are, sitting at work on a dreary Wednesday, trying to figure out what the heck we are going to do about tonight. See, the Sox and Mariners were already scheduled to play an afternoon game today. Now, our tickets are good for a 7:15 PM game this evening. Currently it is raining in Boston, and the forecast isn't getting much better as the day progresses. Do we suck it up and drive down? Do we try to sell the tickets at a deeply discounted price? Do we say screw it and just go home after work and go straight to bed? I'm leaning toward option 3. I'm just saying...

The joys of the information age...

2010-08-18T09:51:00.002-04:00

Everyone loves being plugged into the world, all day, every day. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, FourSquare, whatever social media application you prefer, it's out there for you to connect with the world. People young and old are logging on and chatting with relatives and friends they haven't seen in years. Friends know where each other are because we are "checking in" everywhere we go. It's all really a great way of staying in contact with friends and family that are out of the area. There is a downside though, and that is that we are learning WAY too much about each other. While updating your status or tweeting can be good for learning updates on people and places, it can also tell us things we would never want to know. For example, the following is an actual update found on Facebook...

"i have a huge and oddly smelling c^nt"

Now, chances are, somebody left their computer open and logged in and is now paying the price. However, this sort of "update" happens fairly often. We all have at least one "friend" that fights with his/her significant other, airing all their dirty laundry for all to see, like this gem...

Boyfriend:
"ENJOYING THE NIGHT AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND, IF YOU CAN CALL IT THAT ANYMORE. JUST CHILLING RIGHT NOW ON MY PS3 GAME AND THEN MAYBE A NIGHT ON THE TOWN AND MYBE SOME "DESERT LATER".The night has just gotton started".

Boyfriend:
"GIRLFRIEND ITS BEEN OVER FOR TWO MONTHS NOW. SEND THE POLICE AND i WILL BE GONE. I WILL MOVE TO BANGOR WITH MY KIDS AND YOU WILL LOOSE A MAN THAT LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. bUR THATS YOU CHOICE SO SEND ME AWAY. LOVE YOU ALWAYS. ALWAYS HAVE. YOU JUST NEED TO GIVE BACK SOMETIEMS UNSTEAD OF ME GIVING, GIVING ,GIVING AND NOT GETTING ANYTHING IN FETURN. AND BY THE WAY WHAT i SAID ABOUT GOING OUT AND THE DESERT THING WAS LIE TO GET YOU GOING. yOU BROKE MY HEART LAST NIGHT AND i HAVE TREATED YOU LIKE GOLD FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS. SO ACT YOUR AGE AND STOP THREATENING MY TO MOVE OUT. i MISS THE OLD dES WHEN WE YOU TO GO FOR WALKS AND DO THE WILD THING ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE. LOL i MISS THE FACT OF YOU WANTED ME SO MUCH THAT I ATUALLY HAD TO SAY NO. i LOVE YOU BUT i KNOW YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME. SO ITS YOUR CHOICE. hOPE YOU MAKE THE RIGHT ONE. LOVD"

Girlfriend:
"u r making me fall out of love with u by ur disrespectful thoughts and just way more u cant just let me be me and figure things out well here it is i am done dont use me as the reason u r not going to b with ur kids GO BE WITH THEM U R WHAT THEY WANT AND NEED ....NOW EVERYONE KNOWS I SAID BE A FATHER.....COZ U JUST LOST UR GRILFREIND.... "

Boyfriend:
"Fine then if thats what you want then so be it. I will be out soon. You suck there goes my heart being broken again. I hope this is what you want. GOOD bye"

Boyfriend:
"maybe I will stop in and see my ex. Atleast she didn't treat me like this".

Girlfriend:
"boyfriend u brought this on ur slef not me ok so hit the town fine ur ex my heart has been broken for a long time now u still just dont respect me if u did there would be things that i asked u not to do but u do i am tired of everything ok just plain tired.... i am not going to be ur excuse for u being misarable..... i know i am and have been for sum time but as for u i dont know and i not figuring things out anymore i am just worring bout me ...............this is what happens when well enough is not just left alone!!!!!!! oh and ur ex treated u worse than i ever have and dont compare me to that slef less cute u call ur wife i am not a thing like her THANK GOD"

Boyfriend:
"I am not miserable at all. I am just upset that you don't want to spend the rest of you life with me. You totaly live seperate lives from me on purpose. You know I get up early for work so that means that I have to get up early for work. You stay up all night and then go to bed. Girlfriend I have don't nothing but kiss your ass and it seems to get me no where with you. Why can't you try to love me like you used too. We couldn't keep are love from eachother or from anyone else. You breaking up with me is a poor excuse if i have ever heard one. Is it that you found someone else. Because my heart belongs to you and always has. I forgave you time after time for cheating on me and you can't forgive me for something that happened when we wheren't together. Thats fucked up. about the sex thing, yes I am mad. I am a man and I need things to complete our love life. Its not everything. I try to make you love me by getting you flowers and helping you out when I can. I buy you kids toys, I used to take care of Journey as if she was mine. SO whats the problem. Why can't you talk to me about these things instead of just ignoring me. COmunication is a big part of a relationship. I love you. Things will get better again as far as money is concerend when my hearing is over and ( my feeling haven't changed about us since the day we first met. I love you with al my heart. WHy can't you do the same.) I am not moving back with my kiids or going to get with my ex. It was said out of angor. I love you, please write me back. XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO"

Girlfriend:
"i told u to well enough alone u didnt and as far as me cheating well i dont believe i never had ur heart or u would have a devorice and yeah u got me flowers and in a hissy fit u put them in the trash really doing shyt to make me happy like fighting with me with my kid around not kool just a lot of shyt boyfriend and i as a person deserve to be happy and right know i am not just like last time u broke up with me while u had planned to hook up with another chick the night b 4 u got the balls to leave oh thats right i found u out and threw u out this is my last i cant keep doing this".

The above was an actual fight between a "friend" of Nichole's and what appears to be his now ex-girlfriend. Note to everyone, we don't care. We enjoy laughing at it, but don't need to know any of it. I mean, it makes me appreciate my education a whole lot more, and there is certainly some comedic value to it, but it's nothing that needs to be done via social media. While it's great that people are able to instantly connect, there should be some simple rules you follow when entering info onto these social media sites. Please don't elaborate about your man bits or lady parts. Nobody really wants to know. Don't have a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if you are grammatically retarded. I'm just saying...

Not another political blog...

2010-08-17T09:34:00.003-04:00

As you all know, I have no opinions when it comes to politics. I stay out of it altogether, it's just better that way. Then again, maybe that isn't entirely true. Perhaps I give an opinion once in a great while, when I feel it is necessary. Alright, I admit it, I have offered my thoughts and opinions on many occasions, and this morning will be the same. I just can't help it, after hearing nonsense all weekend regarding the proposed Islamic cultural center planned for Manhattan, I can't help myself.

First of all, to the families, friends, co-workers and neighbors of those that were lost on September 11th, 2001, I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through, and continue to go through every day of your lives. You have lost something that can never be replaced. I'm truly sorry for each of your losses and hope that time can heal those wounds.

That being said, the proposed Islamic cultural center should NOT be considered a slap in their face. It should not be looked at as a victory by Muslim extremists at the foot of Ground Zero. It should also not be a political issue, not when unemployment is hovering around 15% nationwide, and when, oh yeah, there is supposed to be a separation between church and state, but that must not count in years that contain mid term elections. It seems as though people on the right are confused with where the actual cultural center will be. People on the left are scared shitless to say much of anything about it. Here are some things to keep in mind when forming your own opinion on the matter, care of yours truly.

The "Ground Zero Mosque" is neither at Ground Zero, nor simply a mosque. The proposed Islamic cultural center, which would be home to a culinary school, a 500 seat auditorium, a swimming pool and a prayer space, is actually two blocks away from Ground Zero. The building wouldn't be much different than a YMCA or a Jewish Community Center. It cannot be seen from Ground Zero, and you cannot see Ground Zero from it. It is intended to be open to the public, not just for Muslim Americans. It is planned to be in an abandoned space, formerly a Burlington Coat Factory, and would really only be seen if you went looking for it. If built, the 13 story cultural center will be, I repeat, one of hundreds of buildings within two blocks of Ground Zero. This area is densely populated and already includes a couple of mosques and less "hallowed" institutions such as strip clubs, bars and offtrack betting establishments. So, where exactly is the problem here?

The United State of America prides itself on being the land of the free. We value the Constitution. Why then, at the same time are we skipping over the very First Amendment of the Constitution? You know, the one that guarantees freedom of speech and religion. Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House of Representatives recently likened Islam to Nazism. So as to not take him out of context, his exact quote was "Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in Washington." First of all, this is the part of the problem right now, and a good reason for nobody in the rest of the world to like us or even take us seriously. We spend too much time saying stupid crap and starting ridiculous controversies that shouldn't even exist. Dear Newt, while it is your right to have this opinion, you make yourself sound like an idiot. We need people to start coming together, working together, and bringing this great country, the land of the free, back to where we once were, and it starts with accepting people of different races, religions and backgrounds. In the year 2010, we should be well beyond all this. I'm just saying...

I thought B2B meant something else...

2010-08-10T09:50:00.002-04:00

The Beach to Beacon 10k was last Saturday morning, bright and early. Nichole and I excitedly signed up to participate early on, getting bib numbers through the lottery process. We trained pretty hard through April and May, before slacking off a bit in June. Then, in July, I injured my leg and was unable to run for the next month plus. Nichole, however, didn't let that stop her, and she continued to get out and run several days a week, working feverishly to improve her time. As Saturday approached, she was nervous, but ready. I, on the other hand, had given my bib to our friend Nikki.

After spending close to what seemed like an hour on the Casco Bay Bridge attempting to get Nichole and another friend, Heidi, to the starting line in time, we slowly work our way up to Cape Elizabeth High School. We pull up as the last shuttle bus is taking runners to the starting line and the girls are already running! Now, I'm so much like my mother, it's actually kind of scary. I'm instantly nervous for Nichole. I know she will do great, but that is how I operate, I am a generally anxious person when it comes to these sorts of things. Hell, I still get anxious before a co-ed softball or soccer game and I'm 31! Anyways, I drive Kerrigan and I to Fort Williams and we roll up and park way at the back of the lot and find ourselves a spot, with Eric and Grace, close to the finish line where we have a good view of the runners.

Before I go into much more detail about the race itself, I have to tell you, I had no idea how big this was! I mean, I knew that close to 6000 people ran the race, and with that brings a large crowd, but until you see it for yourself, you have no idea how big this really is. There are people lining the streets for the entire duration of the race. They are everywhere. Clapping. Playing music. Handing out water. Cheering complete strangers on. It was something I have never seen before, and to be honest, it was pretty incredible.

Now, back to my dear wife. Wow, not only did she finish the race strong, she beat her personal best by a pretty decent margin. She had been hovering around an hour and a half, but this was with our dog on the back roads of New Gloucester. Apparently it all came together for her Saturday morning, because she finished the race in one hour, fourteen minutes and forty five seconds, far and away her best time, and all with a giant smile on her face! I could feel myself bursting with pride as she ran past our friends and family at the home stretch. I quickly ran up the hill to meet her and give her a big hug. I felt the same way right then as I did the morning Kerrigan scored her first goal in soccer! I like that feeling!

Now Nichole has the running bug, and I think that means I better get it quick! We are discussing running the Trail to Ale 10k next month in Portland. I haven't run in two months, but I'm getting back into it this week and look forward to running in a race myself. I want to quickly congratulate not only Nichole and a job very well done, but also Nikki, Rachel, Heidi and everyone else that ran the race, absolutely great job. I'm just saying...

I have a vacation coming to me, what to do with myself...

2010-08-09T09:58:00.003-04:00

A week long vacation means different things to everyone. Some people go to the family camp. Others head to Martha's Vineyard, the Hampton's or for the coast of Maine. For one family and friends, vacation means something totally different, and I have to be honest, I kinda like it.

This weekend started out just a bit chaotic. We got up at the butt crack of dawn to get to Cape Elizabeth for the Beach to Beacon, Nichole had to be there and ready to go at 8:00 AM. I plan to go over the race tomorrow in greater detail, but for today, just know that my wife rocks! She got her best time on Saturday and had a smile on her face the whole time. I am so extremely proud of her, she is an amazing woman, and I want to congratulate her again on a job well done. After the race we were heading over to the Flynn's for some poolside lounging and some finely grilled meats. On our way we had to stop and get some adult beverages for us, and something for my little monkey to swill on as well. I figured the 7-Eleven on the way made sense and pulled in. Nichole quickly tells me to go in, because there is a group of 7 people on bicycles standing right outside the door, she didn't want to be covered in sweat, having just run a 10k, then grabbing a twelve pack of beer. Since I have no shame, I was fine going in. I am greeted instantly by the bicycle gang. Apparently the "kind fellow" behind the register inside was actually a complete horse's ass. Not only would he not let one member of the group use the bladder relieving facilities, he double charged them for their water and threatened to call the police on them for supposedly using the bathroom in front of the gas station. Now, I don't know these people at all, never met them in my life. I do feel as though I am a good judge of character, and they seem like super nice people. If they don't think the guy inside is a nice guy, I'm going to take my business elsewhere, no skin off my back.

After they convince me to go somewhere else, they tell me a little about themselves. Apparently, they had peddled up from Long Island, New York, making stops along the way to check out new sights and sounds. They are also handing out green bracelets, much like the Livestrong ones made famous by Lance Armstrong, to nice people they meet during this adventure. Because I decided not to make a beer purchase at the 7-Eleven, instead taking my business elsewhere, they quickly decide to give me a bracelet. After sharing some laughs and snapping a quick picture, I wish them luck and jump back in the car and we are on our way. What a crazy few minutes I thought to myself, but the idea stuck in my head. I retold the story to everyone I saw the rest of the day.

Fast forward to about 9:30 that evening. I'm exhausted from a long, great day. I just finished up watching Mike Doughty at L.L. Bean and wanted to stop into Buck's Naked BBQ to see Nichole and let her know that I was running home to let the dog out and clean up a little before coming back in to pick her up at closing time. I climb down the stairs and round the corner into the Juke Joint and I am quickly greeted as if I was Norm walking into Cheers! One guy at the bar, followed by a half dozen others at a nearby table all yelling "MARK!". I'm going to be honest, I'm absolutely confused. For a minute I don't have a clue who any of these people are and it's written all over my face?! Suddenly, as quickly as the confusion set in, I realized who all my new fans were, it was the bicycle gang from 7-Eleven that morning down in Portland! What, in the hell, are the chances?! I mean, seriously, I am a little in shock that the very same people that I had met, by chance, earlier that day, gave me a bracelet and chatted me up were now standing in front of me at Buck's in Freeport. Crazy! Next thing I know I am sipping on a beer (thanks guys!) and listening to all their adventures, which included the cops finding them. Apparently the gas station guy had a giant hair across his ass, as he did, indeed, call the police. A total of four cop cars show up and realize they are no threat and are quickly chatting with them and joking about the whole situation.

Apparently, it all started a while ago, when dad decided he wanted to take his son and a friend on a bike ride from Long Island up to Boston. The son loved it and couldn't wait to do it again the next summer, and the rest is, as they call it, history. The idea is to bike to a different destination each year, while trying to spread out the invite to include more people. What a great concept. There is no better way to see the sights than to be a part of them. Everyone in the group had great stories to tell about places they had stopped along the way, and raved about meeting so many wonderful people too. Nichole and I were so happy that we were able to not only run into them once, but really connect with them and get to know a little about them. Honestly, I am still shaking my head in disbelief that we ran back into them. I'm anxiously looking forward to connecting with them in the future and learning more about their travels. It was great meeting you guys and I hope our paths cross again some day. I'm just saying...

This is not at all how I pictured it when I was a kid...

2010-08-03T09:27:00.002-04:00

When I was a kid, I knew exactly what I was going to be doing when I grew up. There was never any doubt what my profession would be. I was going to be playing basketball in the NBA. Not just that though, I was going to be the next Larry Bird. I was going to carry the Boston Celtics on my shoulders for about 12 years, winning championships and MVP's along the way. I remember being about 10 and playing basketball in my bedroom on my hamper hoop, both hitting the game winning shot and doing my best Johnny Most impersonation at the same time. There was never any doubt. Flash forward to this morning, as I'm ironing both my shirt, and Nichole's. It hit me, what the hell happened to me?! This is not at all how I pictured it when I was a kid.

Let me start off by saying that I am not complaining. I am the luckiest man alive to have an amazing wife and daughter, a wonderful family, a great house in the woods and more friends than a person deserves. I have a great life, it's just not what I expected when I looked in the mirror 20 years ago. I'm not supposed to be ironing our shirts at 7:00 AM before driving to the office for another round of 9:00 to 6:00 on a Tuesday morning in Maine. I should be sleeping in, getting ready to go to the gym for some off season training with the boys, getting ready to make another push for a championship in Boston. What the heck happened?!

Well, for starters, I'm not good enough at basketball to go pro, let's be honest. I mean, I love the game, and I can hit a jump shot every now and then, but being a foot taller than most everyone else in the 4th grade doesn't translate into that same sort of dominance down the road. I spent nearly every waking moment as an adolescent playing basketball, watching basketball or collecting basketball cards. I would say I was obsessed, I think that is a fair assessment. Though, in high school, I finally realized obsession doesn't lead to scholarships and recruiters from Division 1 schools. Heck, it didn't even mean recruiters from Division 3 schools, and my dream was quickly fading. I was alright with it then, and I still am now. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved living that dream, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything, even if it means I have to get up at 7:00 AM to iron both my shirt and Nichole's. I'm just saying...

Intensity in Tent City...

2010-08-02T09:47:00.003-04:00

If you look up the term "shit storm" in the dictionary, you aren't going to find anything. However, the Urban Dictionary comes in handy for this one, defining it as "A course of action that would appear to lead to a good outcome, but when undertaken, leads to a situation that is utterly out of control beyond human comprehension." I would say that this is a perfect way to describe the events of this past Saturday night.

Last Saturday started out like any other weekend when we have company in town. Nichole and I get up and clean up the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee and start making a big breakfast for everyone. Our guests from out of town start coming to and joining us. Breakfast is eaten, coffee is drank and people start getting ready for the nuptials of Mr. Jacob Pierson and Ms. Allison Thayer. Before you know it, everyone is showered up, dressed in their fancy wedding clothes and beers start getting consumed. Next stop, Run of the Mill brewpub in Saco to meet up with others we will be hanging out with for the remainder of this beautiful day. Some snacks and a few beers are put away quickly, and off to Biddeford for a very picturesque ceremony. The Pierson's must have paid some landscapers some good money, because the property looked amazing!

The ceremony was great. It was gorgeous outside, the yard looked perfect and the happy couple was beaming with pride as they exchanged their vows under perfect blue skies. The ceremony was short, the receiving line was long, and everyone was already having a great time. After congratulating both Jake and Allie, as well as both sets of parents, we took the short jaunt down through the backyard to the reception area. The reception tent was set up on the backside of the lawn, giving plenty of room for volleyball and croquet for us all later. We settled into table 10 with our crazy crew, and this is when all hell sort of broke loose.

See, both Jake and Allie are beer people. I don't just mean that they like beer, I mean, hell, we all do. These two, as well as a good number of their family and friends are fans of really good beers. This wasn't going to be a party with Bud Light cans and Amstel Light bottles, no sir. We are talking about 5 kegs of finely crafted brews. With these beers also came a higher alcohol content, and a greater likelihood of people getting a smidge silly a bit quicker. Well, table 10 did their best to prove this theory right.

The reception started out like most, with the introductions, first dance and cake cutting. Dinner was a great mix of both surf and turf with all the fixings to go with it. At this point though, people's evenings are starting to already get a bit fuzzy. See, someone brought both Bushmills and Hornitos, and shots were flowing. It was about then that a bunch of us thought volleyball was a good way to go. Well, after a small amount of blood, a sweet grass stain and some sore knees, we decided to move onto something else. Unfortunately, that something else was more beer drinking and something that was dubbed "floor Tequila", which is apparently a shot given by someone with a bottle of Tequila from under a table. Sounds shady in the first place, but bad decisions are always a given. I would love to say that things got better from here, but that would just be wrong.

Shortly after dark came the incredible fireworks show. When I say incredible, I mean exactly that, they were awesome. They actually put shows like those in Freeport or Portland for the 4th of July to shame. I would dare say they were the best display I have seen in the State of Maine, ever. The best part is, this is the portion of the program that is last remembered by a handful of guests, most of which sat at table 10. People start dropping like flies at this point. Some make it back to Tent Condo before they pass out, others are not so lucky. A couple of us were summoned back to find a significant other or two. Before long Tent Condo was creeping up on capacity and everyone that was calling it home for the evening was in place. What happened next is something that you really had to see, or in this case, hear, to believe. I was unable to sleep for the better part of the night due to all the commotion happening in every direction around me. Let's see if this recap can cover even half of it...

In a giant tent with 9 people in it, lots of sounds, off all sorts of varieties are expected to be heard. Snoring, farting, even talking, I'm fully expecting it all to happen this night, especially with this band of gypsies. While I heard some snoring, and a few farts, the real stories revolve a variety of other sounds. One Tent Condo guest spent the better part of her overnight stay fighting for blankets and talking, most of which is believed to have been in gibberish. I do believe I heard the words "move" and "chew" approximately 200 times, each time funnier than the previous. Next thing I think I hear, and I'm praying it wasn't what I thought it was, was the faint sound of a person of the female persuasion enjoying the company of a friend. Well, that was exactly what I was hearing, and I heard it for a while. In fact, many people heard it. Remember folks, if you are going to be tent sex girl, tent walls are mighty thin! Moaning and slapping sounds are very easily heard on a crisp Maine evening when tenting under the stars. I mean, it's not as loud as a NASCAR race, but it's pretty loud.

Once the petting and sweating ended (and not soon enough, might I add), the next round of craziness ensued. More mumbling about "move" and "chew" started back up and the next thing you know, someones cookies are tossed, inside Tent Condo. No biggie, cover it with a sleeping bag and back to sleep we go. Oh, sorry, not done yet, another round of cookie tossing shortly follows. At this point, I'm doing all I can not to just burst out laughing, but I'm unsure if I'm the only one coherently awake. Then I learn that at least one other Tent Condo guest is awake, as she asks her partner in crime if he will trade spots on the air mattress with her so she isn't laying directly in the previously tossed cookies. See, she sleeps under her sleeping bag, not inside it. Apparently, her husband didn't see it the same way, and he tossed this gem out (though, I'm not sure he was even awake for this outburst), "why can't you f$cking sleep inside your f$cking sleeping bag like a normal f$cking person". Now I'm doing everything in my power not to die laughing.

At this point, I just assume everyone is settling in and maybe going to sleep for a few hours. Nope, not exactly. Some more tugging and pulling for blanket supremacy took place. Someone got kicked, someone got punched, and all the while, neither of them woke up. Pretty impressive if you ask me. Finally, sometime shortly after the sun started to peak it's lovely face out I feel asleep. A short time later I had to wake up, just had to get out of the tent and find out if anyone else was awake all night like myself. Turns out, only a couple people actually slept all night, and a couple of us compared notes and determined that it was indeed a crazy night in Tent Condo.

A couple of things in closing. Hallmark does not make a card apologizing for puking in someones tent. If you are falling down, people aren't being weird, they are simply trying to help you. McGillicuddy's Peppermint Schnapps is, in fact, a great way to freshen your breath in the morning. When someone asks you to pull the car over, and you can actually hear the panic in their voice, pull the damn car over. Vegetarians don't like hearing about scrapple and how it is made. Would also like to both congratulate Jake and Allie, as well as thank them for throwing one hell of a party! You two are great, and we all had a blast! I'm just saying...

What happens on the Saco River stays on the Saco River...

2010-07-27T10:17:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was the bachelor party of one Jacob Pierson. This is where I would typically go into details telling you all about our adventures. Today is going to be a little different. It's not that I don't want to bore you with tales of our (mis)adventures while lazily paddling down the Saco River, though, these tales are legendary. No, I have a new policy. From now on, when someone has a bachelor party, the stories are only told in person. These pages have been known to be misread, or better yet, misunderstood in the past. That is not what I want to do here. What I am willing to do though is give some observations...

Too much Irish Whiskey can cause a person to sleep face down in sand, in only shorts, right beside their sleeping pad.

Rope swings aren't meant for everyone. The bigger you are, the faster you fall.

When getting a beer for someone in a kayak, don't make them reach, kayaks flip.

When planning who is riding in a canoe, don't put the two tallest people in the same boat. They are bound to end up in the drink.

Apply sunscreen before drinking for 5 hours, not after. And apply it all over, not just where your open fingers hit your arm.

When you start drinking at 7:00 AM, hang out in the sun all day, and only eat chips, you tend to pass out early.

Make sure to consult with the rest of your party before going grocery shopping, everyone doesn't need to bring 3 bags of chips each. Which reminds me, I don't want chips for a while, but, you are welcome Frito Lay.

Always drink with your non-dominant hand. There is always an asshole sitting back watching you, and you will have to pound your beer, I promise. BUFFALO!

Dr. Aloysius Percival McGillicuddy is the supposed genius behind, that's right, Dr. McGillicudy's Peppermint Schnapps. That being said, it's not really meant for cleaning your mouth out the day after a full day drinking session. You should still use a toothbrush and toothpaste.

Again, just some observations from the past weekend. I assume by how exhausted we all were even yesterday that we had a good time. We didn't lose anyone down the river, nobody got (more) injured, and nothing burned to the ground, so I would say it was a pretty successful trip. Something tells me there will be many more observations this coming weekend at the wedding. I'm just saying...

This hits a little close to home...

2010-07-23T10:23:00.002-04:00

With all the crap going on in the world, we forget about the craziness that is happening right in our backyard. Thankfully, you have me to swoop down and offer you up some tidbits of local news, with some commentary, of course. We may live in Maine, where not too much ever happens, but here are some recent headlines...

60 year old transient found floating in Portland Harbor, ruled a drowning. Well, I'm sure he did drown. But I ask this, did he decide he wanted to go for a midnight swim? Did he get into some altercation with someone and get shoved in? Did he get drunk and fall in? Guess what, we will never know. Instead of doing a proper autopsy the Portland PD are ruling it a drowning and closing the case. That's it folks, nothing to see here. Now, what if a well known local lawyer or businessman was found floating in the bay, would we just say he drowned and not dig any further? I understand the concept of it not really worth the money to dig too deep when it comes to the death of a homeless person, but what if there is more to this story. What if another person is found in the bay this weekend, and again next month? Is there more to this story that we are willing to ignore because the guy was homeless? I hope not.

Woman who cried sexual assault later admits she made it all up. A woman who was running Back Cove Monday night claims to have been sexually assaulted by a group of black men, until a passing motorist noticed and yelled and the men ran away. Turns out the woman is full of shit! Apparently she and her boyfriend had gotten into a fight and she decided to make this entire thing up, maybe to make him feel bad or something?! And nothing like blaming it on 1% of the Maine demographic lady, sheesh! I'm waiting for Jesse Jackson to have something to say about this!

The State Theatre is reopening! After being closed for 4 years, the State Theatre is opening it's doors to the public again, having announced its first four shows slated for this fall. My Morning Jacket, Josh Ritter & The Royal City Band with Low Anthem, Guster and Michael Franti with Spearhead will be hitting the stage in October. It's so exciting to have the State back. I moved to the area just before it closed, and have not yet been to a show there. I'm looking forward to seeing Guster, and perhaps My Morning Jacket. My hopes is that we see some jam bands come up to Portland to play this venue, as it is the perfect size for most of the bands on the jam scene.

Trash problems have closed down Raymond Beach on Sebago Lake. Trash problems are one thing, but this is something extremely different. We are talking hypodermic needles, animal waste, dirty diapers, empty beer and liquor bottles as well as human excrement! Apparently this isn't a new problem, it's been going on for a while. Just this week workers filled three 32 gallon garbage bags with a variety of nastiness, including 15 dirty diapers as well as human poop! Who the hell does this sort of thing? I mean, they have port-o-potties on site, not to mention garbage cans. Are we that lazy and, well, stupid? It's not my yard, who cares, is that the attitude? People, that is freaking nasty! If people can't toss their kids crap catcher in the garbage at a public beach, can you imagine what their house looks like? SHIVER!

Again, just a hint of some of the local news that came out this week. It appears, that despite a smaller population than other states, we still have to deal with the same crap as everyone else (no pun intended Raymond Beach!). I'm hopeful for a day when the news isn't all bad, but I'm realistic enough to know that it will never happen. Here's hoping we don't make the news this weekend while enjoying a weekend on the Saco River, because you know it wouldn't be good! I'm just saying...

Little bit of this, little bit of that...

2010-07-20T10:19:00.003-04:00

I realize I said I would be telling stories about the time I had dinner with Oprah Winfrey and Magic Johnson at the Texas Roadhouse in Bangor, but I may have gotten a little carried away. What actually happened was I had lunch at Joe's New York Slice Bar on Fore Street and saw Oprah Winfrey on a commercial and a story about Magic Johnson on Sportscenter. Not exactly the same, but since you are here, you might as well continue on...

So, let's see. I was out of work on Monday, did something to my leg playing softball on Sunday. Felt fine during and after the game. Cleaned it up, and went to bed as if nothing ever happened. Slept about 2 hours all night Sunday night, couldn't get comfy. Woke up Monday morning and almost fell on my face. My leg was not working at all, and it hurt REALLY bad. Well, it wasn't any better on Tuesday or Wednesday, in fact, it may have been getting worse. At this rate, I was fearful that I was gonna be just like LT. Dan from Forest Gump in about a week! Fortunately, I went to the doctor yesterday and I was told I just pulled some muscles and ligaments a little more than they are used to, so I've got some bruising and swelling, but no major damage. I'm on the DL for a couple of weeks, but that is much better than I was fearing!

Plans for a Muslim Cultural Center, housing a 500-seat performing arts center, a lecture hall, an exhibition space, a swimming pool, a gym, a culinary school, a restaurant and a prayer space for Muslims, located 2 blocks from Ground Zero, has gone from just a local New York City issue to one that even my favorite Alaskan feels she needs to comment on. Not only did she comment on something that has absolutely nothing to do with her (shocker), she also made up a couple of new words in the process. Then, to make matters worse for the one time VP hopeful, she tweets this gem, “‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!” Wait, did she just compare herself to William freaking Shakespeare? Holy hell, I've heard it all now!

We are now over 90 days into this BP oil spill disaster, and we still have a mess on our hands. I don't see how anyone other than BP is responsible for this. You can blame the government all you want, but who has lied all along the way about action plans in case of disasters, or how much oil was actually coming out of this freaking hole, or even photoshopped pictures so things would look better than they actually are? That's right, BP needs to make this all right. They need to clean up every beach, every animal, everything. They need to reimburse all the hard working fishermen that has been out of work. They need to make this right. Then, after they have cleaned, fixed and repaired everything and everyone, then the fun starts. We find every person responsible at BP and cover them in oil. We give them a chance to clean themselves, but all we give them is scouring pads and rubbing alcohol. Then we give them a wedgie and steal their lunch money. Jerks! I'm so upset that this is still going on and so many people and animals are suffering because of it.

It looks as though the millions of people that have been without their unemployment benefits may finally get the help they need, despite the Republicans resisting to extend the benefits. The argument is that we have no money to pay for it, which is absolutely true, you can't argue that. However, taking away what little income people have while they struggle to find new work isn't helping anybody, if anything, it will only be another thing to keep this recession going. The very same Republican party voted 4 times during GW Bush's term to extend unemployment benefits, also during a time when we were face to face with a budget deficit. At this point there is no way one side will agree with the other, no matter what the issue is. If the right wants it, the left will say no, and if the left thinks it is a good thing, you can bet your sweet ass the right will completely disagree. How the hell, as a nation, the greatest nation in the world, are we ever going to accomplish anything if we go about it with a god damn 8 year old's mentality. I think it is time for some new blood (not crazy blood, we don't need any Tea Partiers in there, that's just scary)! If that isn't the answer, then I think we need to head into the chambers next time they are in full session and whip out some tazers and get everyone to get their shit together real quick. We are the best nation in the world and it is about damn time we start acting like it. We have become a joke to everyone else, and that needs to stop, today!

These are just a few of the things on my mind today. Being home on Monday gave me the chance to watch some new tv, and it got me all fired up! Perhaps I should watch soap operas next time I'm home, or get the hell out of the house! I'm just saying...

So much to do, I choose nothing...

2010-07-16T10:27:00.002-04:00

Summer in Maine means many things. Having BBQ's with friends, seafood by the water, heading to camp, fairs and festivals. There is so much going on in this area every weekend, it's impossible to do everything. I try to always make it to at least one of the Alive at Five performances in Monument Square, though, this year it's just local acts that we have all seen a dozen times already. Freeport's Outdoor Concert Series always has some great bands, with this year being no exception. I saw Trombone Shorty, an extremely talented musician out of New Orleans, last weekend, and am really looking forward to Mike Doughty in a few weeks. With so much going on, how do you decide what to do? My choice for this weekend, none of the above.

As you all know, I grew up in the quiet northern Maine town of Fort Fairfield. There isn't much there, that much is certain. We have one set of traffic lights, a grocery store and a few gas stations. The one big thing my hometown has is the Maine Potato Blossom Festival. It's the one time of year that anything happens in town. The town literally turns from about 3000 people to nearly 2-3 times that during this big weekend. Events such as high school reunions, the street dance, mashed potato wrestling and the giant parade attract people from all over. It's the one time of year that you can be sure to see someone you haven't seen in a while.

Now, I still have a good number of friends and my grandparents up there. I have millions of fond memories of growing up in The County. I loved the small town feel, the close knit community was great. I knew everyone, and everyone knew me. After college, I decided to try something else on for size. I moved to southern Maine, looking for a change of pace. I was looking for more opportunities and options, and I found all that and more. Moving to the Greater Portland area has been the best thing in the world for me. I have my wonderful daughter a town away (when she isn't with me), my parents and sister just down the road, and I met my wonderful wife down here. We have a great home and jobs that we love. Things couldn't be better. In fact, I often completely forget about what life was like growing up in Fort Fairfield. Then comes July and the annual Maine Potato Blossom Festival.

This is the one time of year, without fail, that I find myself feeling a bit nostalgic. I miss drinking on Main Street during the parade (out of red Solo cups, of course). I miss seeing all the great people I went to school with, in fact, I even miss those schoolmates I never really talked to or hung out with. It's the familiar faces you miss after you move away. I miss the old adult dance, and now the street dance. Someone was always having a party, and half the town would show up. Mashed potato wrestling is something one simply can't explain, it needs to be seen to be appreciated. Back in the day when we had the "Anything That Floats" race down the river. I just remember seeing people absolutely wasted floating under the bridge in their rickety floats they put together, and thinking that I couldn't wait to be able to do that too. Just so many fun memories of this time of year. It's hard not to look back and smile.

So, another year has come, and another year will pass without me heading up north for my hometowns big weekend. I swear every year that I am going up, and for the last 3 years I have been right where I am today, feeling nostalgic and smiling about the great times I've had in the past. So, to those of you spending any time in Fort Fairfield over the next few days, enjoy yourselves. Oh, and if you want to send me down a fried dough, I would be alright with that! I'm just saying...

Some stories just write themselves...

2010-07-15T09:18:00.002-04:00

I've been blogging now for a few years. I started back in the days of MySpace, back when people other than child molesters and aspiring porn actors were known to log on and see what everyone was up to. Well, it's been about 3 years now, and I have to be honest, it's not always easy to come up with a topic you think people might give a crap about. I try hard not to talk about one topic too much, more so because I don't want to be known as a sports blogger, or political blogger (though I thoroughly enjoy talking about both subjects), but I have always felt that it's easier to be enjoyed by a larger audience if your subject matter touches on a little bit of everything. Some days I can't think of a damn thing to talk about, and some days, someone will serve up a nice fastball, right down the middle, and you have to hit it out of the ballpark. Case in point...

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are engaged! You remember this mess, right? Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol got knocked up by Levi Johnston around the same time Palin is dubbed McCain's running mate. Momma Palin is not impressed by Levi at all, and he runs to the media and airs some dirty laundry about how Sarah and Todd Palin call their son Trig (who has Downs Syndrome) a "retard". Levi later posed for Playgirl, a move Sarah had plenty to say about, none of which was good. Now, almost as a slap in Sarah's pretty little face (sarcasm...), Levi has asked for her daughter's hand in marriage.

This made me crack right up at first, but then I thought about it a little. Bristol and Levi made a boat load of cash for this story and the pictures. It is sounding like a new reality show is going to come out of all this, which will bring them more money. PLUS, it puts Sarah's name back out there, which she LOVES! Something about this stinks to me. I feel like this WHOLE situation has been orchestrated by the attention seeking Sarah Palin in an effort to make her look forgiving and understanding. People, listen up, this woman is crazy! She has nothing positive to offer, has no real experience in anything worthwhile and is only doing all this to make money. She is a product of the media, especially Fox News. Whether you like Obama or not, she and cry baby McCain were option B. YIKES! I'm just saying...

The Decision - Ugh!

2010-07-12T11:41:00.002-04:00

Over the past month or so, you were bound to have heard about the free agency of Lebron "King" James. He was been anointed the "Next Michael Jordan" back when he was playing ball back in high school. He was selected by his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers back in 2003, has been completely surrounded by hype since his high school days in Akron, and this summer has been no different. Last Thursday night at 9:00 PM EST, on ESPN, he made "The Decision" of where he would be playing next year.

I'm going to be honest with you, I don't like this guy. I will admit that he is a great basketball talent. He has skills that most people can only dream of. He is tall, jacked, can jump out of the gym, has unlimited shooting range and is fast as a cheetah. What I don't like is his complete disregard for everyone around him and his high level of doucheyness. He is one of those guys who feels as though the world revolves around him because he can shoot a basketball.

Lebron spent the past month or so meeting with teams, listening to their pitch to get him to come play for their team. Chicago, New York, New Jersey, Cleveland, Miami and the L.A. Clippers all did what they could to try to woo him to come play for them. So many options, what is a guy to do. Do you go to the media capital of the world in NYC to play for a team that has spent the better part of the last three years clearing space to get him and other big name free agents? What about New Jersey, playing for the new billionaire owner from Russia and Jay-Z, knowing they are moving to Brooklyn in the next few years? How about Chicago, no better way of becoming the next Jordan than taking his team to some championships, right? Then there is playing in L.A., no, just kidding, nobody wants to do that. He could go to Miami in hopes that Dwyane Wade sticks around, making a dynamic duo, or better, considering how much money Miami has. Or, there is the option to stay home, play for the only team he has known, the team and fans that have loved and adored him for so many years. What would you do?

Well, Lebron opted to go play in South Beach, cough, I mean, Miami, with Wade and All Star big man Chris Bosh, forming what has been dubbed "Miami Thrice" after the old 80's television series Miami Vice. I have no problem with him going to Miami, that isn't my problem with all this crap. My problem is this. He's a phony. A fraud. He has every right to leave town, and good for him. My problem is all the hoopla surrounding it. Maybe I should be more angry with ESPN and their glorifying all this bullshit. But still, I feel that Lebron went about the entire thing the wrong way. He grew up in Akron, has played for Cleveland for seven years, and totally turned his back on them. He didn't even give Cleveland management a phone call to let them know what he was going to do. To me, that would just be common courtesy. Cleveland has been the armpit of the sporting community for a LONG time, and this only makes it worse.

Here is my prediction. Miami will be a great regular season team. Their three all stars alone can carry them during the regular season. When it comes to the playoffs, I don't see this working out too well. They are going to have a very limited bench due to financial contraints. As of right now, they only have 4 guys under contract, and little to no money to spend. I'm expecting a phone call very soon to come down to South Beach, at the NBA minimum salary, to come off the bench. I think Lebron's best option was to go to Chicago and play with Rose, Boozer, Noah and the rest of the Bulls. They would be a dominant team for years to come. Oh well, GO CELTICS! I'm just saying...

Big music festivals, camping and temps pushing 100, just another weekend in Maine - Take 3

2010-07-09T09:50:00.002-04:00

After tearing down camp and sweating worse than a fox in a forest fire, I hit the showers and we head on down the road to the Laskey family reunion. Tons of food, wiffleball, a cribbage tournament, corn hole and more food. A good time was had by all, as usual. We spent the better part of the day visiting with everyone, both younger and older than us. Kerrigan made herself some new friends and had a hell of a time selling rocks (gotta love the business sense the kid has).

As it gets closer to leaving time, I ask Kerrigan if she would rather attempt some kayaking or go to the ropes course we saw on our way up, Monkey C Monkey Do, in Wiscasset. Duh, ropes course, obviously! Well, guess what, it closed 15 minutes before we got there. UGH! No big deal, right? Kerrigan has an absolute breakdown! She is mad because, and I quote, we didn't do anything fun to end out weekend, and we always do. Do you think she is a little spoiled? NO! One of the employees is nice enough to walk us around and show us the place. It looks pretty darn cool, complete with a zip cord, sweet! Monkey finally calms down and the world is OK again. We convince her that going to The Cabin for pizza in Bath is a good runner up plan, and we all come out of this unscathed.

Pizza and beer never tasted so good, god I love that place. My parents end up meeting us there, and we decide to go check out the fireworks in Bath. We found a great spot, and enjoyed the light and sound show in the night sky. What a great weekend. I love it when I'm absolutely exhausted following a weekend and then have to head into work the next morning. I'm just saying...

Big music festivals, camping and temps pushing 100, just another weekend in Maine

2010-07-07T09:35:00.003-04:00

Last weekend started out like any other weekend. There I was, sitting at work, trying to finish some things up before the whistle blew for quitting time at 1:00 (gotta love a little early release before holiday weekends), when I see a Facebook post from my favorite radio station, WCLZ, about them giving away a few more pairs of Nateva tickets. Just sign up on their page and they will call you it says. Um, duh! I quickly log on to their page and attempt to get a pair of Saturday tickets. In the meantime, I go back to their Facebook page and they have offered the first two responders a pair of Friday tickets as well. Well, guess who got free pairs of tickets to both Friday and Saturday? That's right folks, my good luck continued and Nichole and I were on our way to the biggest hippie fest in Maine this summer.

We rolled into Oxford right around dark, just as Ghostland Observatory are kicking their set into full gear. For those of you who have never seen them, they are basically are the illegitimate love child of the electronic, funk, rock and new wave genres of music. They are a hodge podge of all things great, with a light show thrown in for good measure. Oh, and let's be honest, they are perfect for a hippy show, what with all those crazy kids eating those magic mushrooms and running around with their neon colored glowsticks. I had never listened to any of their music, but I must admit, even without the magic mushrooms in my system, I enjoyed the music. Next up was moe., who I was most excited to see (since we would be unable to see George Clinton or Further on Sunday). I've been listening to these guys for a while, but this was my first time seeing them live, and I have to admit, I got into it. They put on a great show, even bringing Keller Williams up on stage with them at one point. Great night of music, and even got to hang with some good friends while we were there.

By the time we got home Friday night, it was actually creeping up on sunrise Saturday morning. We left Oxford around 2:00 AM and climbed into bed around 3:15, knowing we were getting a short nights sleep, as we were having brunch at my parental units abode for my sister's birthday at 9:00. Well, we took a quick nap and made it to Brunswick on time (which is shocking, I know). We had a great breakfast and were planning on heading back to Oxford, this time with Miss Kerrigan, but my better half had herself a bit too much fun the night before and was running on empty, and had to bartend at Buck's that night, so we opted out and gave our tickets away instead.

What happened next? Check back tomorrow, I've got work to do! I'm just saying...